Internet Lawsuit Of The Day: Alleged Ginger Biker Will Buy Turtleboy As A Slave To Lick Ass Hairs For Posting His Email Without Permission

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Here’s your Monday morning Turtleboy Sports Internet lawsuit of the week email…….



So the latest plaintiff was featured in our Saturday morning blog about the Top 10 hate messages/fan mails we got from dirt bikers this past week:

Top 10 Fan Mail Hate Messages Turtleboy Got From Dirt Bikers This Week

Alright, for starters, how is this kid gonna deny his gingerness?


You can call yourself whatever you want. But Turtleboy sees a redhead there. Just sayin.

But seriously, what a magnificent email that was. Truly enjoyed reading it. Especially the part about him buying Turtleboy as a slave in order to have us lick the dirty hairs off of his rumpus. Because sometimes there are places that the loofa just doesn’t reach and the only thing you can do is to buy a slave. Luckily he goes to Bryant and has the whole world figured out so he will be able to afford any slave he so chooses. Must be nice.

This was the original email he sent us that got him in the blog in the first place:


So many strong points being made. This kid is obviously destined for success. Once he graduates from Bryant with $200,000 in loans to pay off he’ll immediately have his choice of high paying jobs at a Fortune 500 company. He communicates THAT effectively.

Anyway, what they apparently don’t teach in business school is if you post something on Facebook it is there for the world to see. I’m sure his high priced lawyer and wifi-esque connections will fill him in on the fact that taking a screenshot of someone’s Facebook page after they write you such a strongly worded email is perfectly legal. Either way, I kind of hope we get our day in court, just so we can have an adult discussion on whether or not this qualifies as a redhead:


I’ll tell you what they need to start teaching in business school – it is never wise to poke the turtle. Please just stop for your own good.



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58 Comment(s)
  • Aaron
    October 9, 2016 at 9:36 pm

    Hahahhahahahaha even though I ride dirtbikes and my background is racing, I’m laughing my ass off at these articles hahaha

  • Publius
    October 4, 2016 at 11:42 pm

    It was too easy finding out that this ginger was at Bryant which is arguably a top ten B school,…in Rhode Island. Ginger F up. The internet is forever.

  • Q
    October 4, 2016 at 5:56 pm

    hahahahaah Bryant isn’t even ranked! The top 100 schools get rankings, and that’s it.

    Idiot, enjoy your wasted degree.

  • UsualSuspect
    October 4, 2016 at 10:00 am

    He’s not just a dirt-biker, he’s also a foul-mouthed pukestick with little command of the English language. College educated? Doubt it. Put a box on a truck, put a box on a truck, put a box on a truck…….. is that what a box boy does? Also, what is it with all these dirtbike types and calling people faggots? Personal insecurities?

  • Reality
    October 3, 2016 at 11:03 pm

    ” im sewing all you bitches” LOL
    are you majoring in home-ec at Bryant?

    • Little Opie's feelings are hurt
      October 5, 2016 at 9:53 pm

      Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh ha ha ha ha ha ha haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

  • Chris Lauro (4 Real)
    October 3, 2016 at 8:29 pm

    im sewing all you bitches for defamination motherfuckers you think this shit is a game? you know that liebel is when you inbred hicks spread lies about me on the internet and my lawyer says i have a slam dunk case so all you assfucks can suck on my dirty asshairs while i count all the money i won from you in cort now fuck you and your ugly fat momma to you buncha pathetic bitches.

    • Dom
      October 4, 2016 at 10:03 am

      Well if you are sewing and offering, I guess I will take a new scarf since winter is coming. Also, based on your posts, it appears that you continue to have a hygiene problem concerning your backside. If you sew yourself a wash cloth and use it when you bathe, it may help.

      • Little Opie's feelings are hurt
        October 5, 2016 at 9:52 pm

        Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha hahaha ha ha, Dom. BEST comment yet.

  • JoeMomma
    October 3, 2016 at 4:46 pm

    Bryan is a good school, three out of our four janitors went there.

  • Devils Mouthpiece
    October 3, 2016 at 1:33 pm

    Top 10 business schools? By what’s account? Every list I’m aware of doesn’t list Bryant in the top 25. Don’t get me wrong, Bryant is an excellent institution, but nothing like making up your own facts.

  • Dom
    October 3, 2016 at 1:22 pm

    “Explains why I go to one of the top 10 business schools in the nation”

    Why do people bother making up stupid lies on the internet to make themselves look better? Lies that take 60 seconds to bust with a quick search. Did he think that just because he is stupid enough to pay $1200 per credit hour that it makes the school a top 10 choice?

    According to US News – College Rankings & Reviews : Bryant University’s business program is ranked 183(tie) nationally. First, Bryant University is not a “business school” It is a University with a business program. Second, while 183 isn’t bad considering there are 488 ranked schools with business programs but 183 isn’t great either … it’s near the middle, so it’s average. Third, The University of Rhode Island’s business program is ranked 150th and tuition is less than 1/3 of the cost of Bryant University.

    Anyways, most colleges and universities have codes of conduct as it pertains to social media and other online interactions. As a student, you represent the school and the school’s values. I am going to go out on a limb and make a guess that his expletive filled tirade that talks about “cock slapping” children is NOT something they would be too pleased with.

    Also, many employers have issues with this type of online interaction as well. People have been fired for saying much less. His FB page says that he works as a “box boy” (what ever that means) at a company named Color Systems.

    Phone Numbers:
    Toll Free: 1-800-640-1484
    Office: 1-401-785-3011
    Fax: 1-401-785-3022
    E-mail: stephenl @
    Address: 66 Albany Road
    Warwick, RI. 02888

  • Chris Lauro (4 Real)
    October 3, 2016 at 12:43 pm

    Yeah thats right turtleboy leave this post up and im going to sue you and everyone who comments on this story. My lawyer will have all you loserfaces living in a cardboard box when he gets done with you. Ill make sure to drive through your homeless camps doing a wheelie if your lucky ill let you lick my dirty ass hairs too

    • Sol Rosenberg
      October 3, 2016 at 1:02 pm

      Your honor… they said mean awful things about the mean awful things I said in the confidence of email… and I was very very injured by their hurtful words… My feelings were bashed apart, and then I fell down the stairs and my shoes fell off…

      Then Turtleboy tied me, naked, to the pier and pinched my tender-nipples and beat me about the ass-neck… while the neighbor girls laughed at my miniscule penis shaft…

      So, sue everybody for my injured feelings… wahhhhhh…

      • BobnMic
        October 3, 2016 at 1:36 pm

        That was a good one ya Jerky! Literally laughed and spit on my screen reading that Sol. Well done – well played.

        • Lil Joey
          October 3, 2016 at 3:18 pm

          There was a kid in my class a couple years ago who would suddenly start laughing and spit on his screen for no apparent reason, he also drooled a lot. Do you have to wear a hockey helmet all the time too Bob?

          • BobnMic
            October 3, 2016 at 3:50 pm

            Your attempt at humor is failing. I suggest you spend more time with your own Lil Joey to ease your tension and hostility you seem to harbor. And what exactly was it I said to offend your delicate sensibilities again Lil Joey? I am being honest here in saying that I just simply forgot. It always is just one asshole fraud in here that I go after so this is perplexing. Help me out…

    October 3, 2016 at 12:40 pm

    What A fuckin dickturd.

  • GetFuct
    October 3, 2016 at 12:16 pm

    Somebodies mom got busy with the Irish milkman while daddy was out eating stromboli.

    • Chris Lauro (4 Real)
      October 3, 2016 at 12:47 pm

      i got busy with your mom while your daddy licked my dirty ass hairs

      • Pepe
        October 3, 2016 at 9:35 pm

        You mean your red ass hairs you ginger fuck

      • BobnMic
        October 4, 2016 at 3:50 am

        Why be so proud of dirty ass hairs you grubby fuck? There is such a thing as:

        1. Toilet Paper and

        2. Medicated Ass Wipes.

        Or you could purchase a European Bidet for those like you too fucking lazy to wipe their own asses. I bet you get zero head at all do you if anything else. What girl would say, “Hey Wow check out those dingleberries and that smell – awesome!”

        Do you have flies hovering around your backside you sloppy fucking bastard?

        • Little Opie's feelings are hurt
          October 5, 2016 at 9:48 pm

          Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh ha ha ha ha, Bob. LOL

  • BobnMic
    October 3, 2016 at 11:51 am

    What is up with these rice burner riding pussies anyway? It must like being 4′ nothing tall with a huge chip on your shoulder because the world is so cruel because you are just a tick taller than a ferret. If these idiot (so called) bikers would man up and get a real bike like a Harley or an Indian then their delicate little sensibilities won’t be so bruised.

    The “Little Man Syndrome” – Buy a rice rocket with that annoying sound like a chain saw and be pissed for the rest of your life. Great plan…

    • Chris Lauro (4 Real)
      October 3, 2016 at 12:45 pm

      keep talking your shit you liddle midget fag my lawyer will sue you for defamination.

      • Sargeant Hulka
        October 3, 2016 at 1:09 pm

        Lighten up Francis…

      • Little Opie's feelings are hurt
        October 5, 2016 at 9:40 pm

        Ha ha ha ha ha haaaaaaa….Who’s your LAWYER? Ahhhhhhhhhh ha ha ha ha ha ha

    • Reddog
      October 3, 2016 at 1:38 pm

      Hey Bob, Harley Davidson and Indian stopped making dirt bikes in the 70’s. I’m not sticking up for this dolt,just trying to figure out how you expect someone to ride a fat boy in the woods.

      • Blackmer's Grundle Duster
        October 3, 2016 at 1:46 pm

        I’ll show you how to ride a fat boy in the woods… grrrr

        • Ned Beatty
          October 4, 2016 at 12:14 pm

          That happened to me once. SQUEEEEEEE

        • Little Opie's feelings are hurt
          October 5, 2016 at 9:42 pm

          Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh ha ha ha ha ha, Blackmer’s.

      • BobnMic
        October 3, 2016 at 1:51 pm

        That’s not what I meant Reddog. Sorry if it was muddled. I am no Mickey Spillane by any stretch. I meant get a real bike for the streets and forget about those stupid annoying pieces of garbage and riding in the woods. I did not say that specifically – my bad. I’m a street riding Harley guy. Much more fun in my mind than buzzing through the woods and getting smacked in the face by tree branches and shit. Then you wipe out and hit a fucking tree. Nah – I’m good with that.

        But that’s just me.

        • BobnMic go away
          October 3, 2016 at 2:26 pm

          GO AWAY!!

          • BobnMic
            October 3, 2016 at 2:33 pm

            Sorry Fiesty – never going to happen. In fact just so you know even if I did get bored and decided to move on, I would still stay just to annoy the fuck out of you. Remember – what comes around goes around. A life lesson you will soon learn…

          • Vj
            October 3, 2016 at 2:35 pm

            Bob is so delusional he thinks firstly is waging some war against him. It’s not feisty Bob, we all want you to die

          • BobnMic
            October 3, 2016 at 3:03 pm

            Nice try. Now it’s Vj huh? What will you do Fiesty to make yourself look like a hero and get all the attention that you so seek. Waging a war? Something that is just happening or just got started?

            Ya again nice try. The person that wishes anyone to die in here is Fiesty the fake Lawyer. No one else is that classless and clueless that I guarantee. And the “we all” comment suggesting that you speak for everyone has Fiesty’s fingerprints all over it as well.

            Stupid is as stupid does – Forrest Gump. Any more examples just let me know ok?

          • Vj
            October 3, 2016 at 9:33 pm

            I hate feisty too you paranoid psychotic. I wish both of you would simultaneously crash your cars into Kevin lynch’s mother’s basement.

          • BobnMic
            October 3, 2016 at 11:30 pm

            Now there’s a comment worthy of support. Minus the me crashing part of course but the rest was spot on. I guess you are not Fiesty there Vj. I was wrong. You just convinced me and I can man up and say I apologize for that one with no excuses. That’s what people of character do.

            But just the same there will be no crashing for me.

          • BobnMic
            October 4, 2016 at 1:34 am

            And for the record wishing death upon another person because you do not see eye to eye with what they comment is all kinds of not cool. Having said that, I would never wish you to die for saying that. Do you get what I mean? No need to be extreme.

            And this goes to the couple of others that like to throw that idiotic rant around. You disagree with someone so you wish serious bodily injury and/or want them to die? What is this Kindergarten? This is an area where the maturity level needs to be brought up to adult status in my opinion.

            There is no need for this ridiculousness and it makes us all look bad when new commenters come in here so I urge the very very few practicing this disturbing behavior to cease and desist. Your just fueling the SJWs flames when you do this and is that what you really want? My guess is no. Throw the F bombs like they’re on sale at the profanity shop who cares. I know I will. But “Die?” Come-on. Use your heads.

            Just sayin.’

        • Chip
          October 3, 2016 at 2:34 pm

          Shut up Meg

        • Lil Joey
          October 3, 2016 at 3:03 pm

          Hi Bob. You are as funny as always, love your posts. Why do you only attack teenage boys and women? Is this the type of behavior your parents taught you? Would it make your parents proud when you would get sent home from school for beating up the younger kids in school and punching the girls in the face? Keep up the funny posts champ because you rock!

          • BobnMic
            October 3, 2016 at 3:12 pm

            Teenage boys Lil Joey? Were the fuck did that one come from? Are you for real? And trust me Fiesty is no woman. You’ll find out soon enough if you were to disagree with her on anything. She is a SJW hag that nobody stands up to. Sorry no free pass just because you’re a chick. You want to start shit get prepared to receive some. That’s how the world works Lil Joey.

            Maybe you’re not old enough to know this very basic principle.

          • Awl
            October 3, 2016 at 9:30 pm

            Bob’s obsession with fiesty is absolutely scary, no one is even talking about her. Yeah she’s annoying but bob is the worst. I wish TB would put up one of his polls to ask how many people hate him. Or maybe we can start our own gofundme to raise money for a lethal injection for him.

    • The great Hiesenberg
      October 3, 2016 at 1:44 pm

      I think this kid is using too much of my product.

  • Turd Burglestein
    October 3, 2016 at 11:37 am

    And as far as those dirty hairs he has on his ass, didn’t his momma teach him proper wiping techniques so he doesn’t walk around with dookie pubes all day long?

    • Chris Lauro (4 Real)
      October 3, 2016 at 12:48 pm

      ill wipe your smiling turdface with your momma butt

      • Chris Lauro (is gay)
        October 3, 2016 at 1:22 pm


      • Italian Ginger
        October 3, 2016 at 3:32 pm


  • Turd Burglestein
    October 3, 2016 at 11:35 am

    My Wifi only has 6 connections on the back. 1 for the modem, 4 LAN connections, and a power cable connection. Is this guy trying to say he’s got 7 connections? Color me impressed.

  • Mike
    October 3, 2016 at 11:33 am

    It is obvious that he is wasting money paying for college. It has not made him any smarter.

  • Lizard crank
    October 3, 2016 at 11:25 am

    95 percent of these comments are from schmucks haha. Sorry all of them are haha. This is the worst dis message I have ever seen lol.

    • Captain Obvious
      October 5, 2016 at 8:10 am

      I don’t know what’s worse: your attempt at humor or you laughing in your own post.

  • whatevuh
    October 3, 2016 at 10:58 am

    So, where does a student come up with all this money for a high priced lawyer? hmmm? Bryant isn’t exactly Harvard now is it

  • Mr Butthurt
    October 3, 2016 at 10:44 am

    First I am going to send you emails using profane language and when that does not scare you I am going to file suit.

    Typical punk ass kid with no brain.

  • Spankster
    October 3, 2016 at 10:44 am

    I forsee a trip in back of Whitco’s on the horizan

  • Idiocracy
    October 3, 2016 at 10:40 am

    Suddenly have urge to watch Andy Griffith
    Chuckles out loud. 🙂

  • FiestyLawyerLady
    October 3, 2016 at 10:37 am

    Did you inform him that you have my favorite Attorney Richard on permanent retainer?

    Lol…. This kid is about to learn a hard lesson about the real world.

  • Grundle Duster
    October 3, 2016 at 10:35 am

    Boy… did he tell you! LOL

    What a chode… Gingers have no soul.

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