Internet Lawsuit Of The Day: Drug seeking Genius Jesse Mac The Psychopath Is Gonna Take Us To Court, This Is The End Of Turtleboy

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I woke up yesterday in an undefinable great mood as I had learned that I’d become a grandma Turtle overnight:

Nothing, and mean nothing, can bring me down today. So when I saw this reaction to my post about Jesse Mac, I laughed hysterically because I was already rollin’ hard on dopamine, serotonin and that new baby smell:

He called me the C word! Well, that was rude!

Well,I’m not going to take anyone seriously who says shit like this:

Seriously, fuck this Irish Italian Oompa Loompa lookin’ motherfucker.

With how much money it takes to wax them eyebrows every goddamn day, I don’t think he’ll be able to afford a lawyer anyway.

The manscaping is strong in this one, and yet he feels the need to call people derogatory names for gay folks. I feel that’s ironic in a way. Sorry hun, but it looks like you’re the “cunt” here.

Listen, there is literally nothing that we’ve done that isn’t within our right to do so. If you post stupid shit online, don’t think for a fucking second that we don’t have the right to call you on it. And call you on it we will, because you suck out loud and everyone should know what a fucking jerk you are. Not to mention how potentially violent you may be because you didn’t get your fix yet:

One more reason he wouldn’t be able to afford court fees, he’s paying “top dollar” for illegal narcotics. By the way, bud…I’m pretty sure since this is highly illegal and we’re in the middle of an epidemic that you probably don’t want to essentially turn yourself in for trying to get pain pills from strangers. That’s wicked illegal, how are you going to make yourself look like a “good guy” when you’re hitting up all your messenger contacts for drugs? Not a good look.

That’s an actual picture of Jesse Mac, btw.

However, I really hope the fit tan man doesn’t contact attorney Richard N. Vulva Esq., that guy’s a dick. He’ll make us swallow our words (among other things), shove it hard down our throats, take us to pound town showing no mercy until we scream his name. This may very well be the end of our rein as champions of the internet if he does. It’s all over folks. I just can’t believe that this is the face of the guy who’s gonna take us down:

Damn. Well, I had better get to knitting some baby socks and start accepting that this is the end. At least I have myself a little baby to tell the story of the greatest turtles that ever lived one day. Anybody got a rocking chair, a grey wig and a bottle of old lady smell? I gotta fit into my role better…

Esther Manch on the book, ya whipper snappers!





6 Comment(s)
  • whatevuh
    July 19, 2018 at 7:30 pm

    Jesse ! Sue this pussy !

  • Screw PC
    July 19, 2018 at 1:21 pm

    Meh. Pretty douches like him who get on social media and throw around n-words and openly beg people to fuck with him don’t tend to last long. He’s probably going to flip out again on meth and his mouth will write a check he can’t cash, and that’ll be it for him. Social Darwinism in praxis.

  • Rockets Redglare
    July 19, 2018 at 12:35 pm

    Here’s a guy with ear rings and wears a lime green tie with a black shirt. Secret gay code for ” I do gang blows”…

  • XXX
    July 19, 2018 at 11:42 am

    My dick is hard thinking of how badly I want to maim that cocksucker’s face and smash his kneecaps.

    • Toi
      July 19, 2018 at 8:08 pm


  • z
    July 19, 2018 at 11:29 am

    At least he knows the proper usage of “They’re”.

    Others than the threats, he’d fit in the comments section here just fine.

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