Follow @TurtleboyNews on Twitter by clicking here.
Follow Turtleboy on Instagram by clicking here.
Follow and like the Turtleboy Sports Forever, and Clarence Woods Emerson to keep up with the hilarious turtle rider commentary.
Want to advertise with Turtleboy? Email us at Turtleboysports@gmail.com for more information.
If you like free speech and want to support what we’re doing, feel free to donate to the Turtle fund:
Hey fam – if you’d like to support Turtleboy and what we do here, feel free to hit the donate button at the top. We basically have to run this site like a Bernie Sanders campaign now since we’ve been blacklisted by Google and Facebook, due to the fact that rabid SJWs keep reporting our posts. Getting blacklisted by Google is a death sentence for most websites, since it’s much harder to monetize. And we all know the damage Facebook has done. We’re never going to stop fighting for free speech, but in the meantime the best way for turtle riders to fight back is to donate to the cause. Without you people none of this is possible. We love you all.
This day and age, you can’t be too careful when it comes to keeping an eye on people who are potentially dangerous. There’s a whole lotta nutter butters out there pretending to be normal folks, and sometimes they let their crazy flag fly free. Which leads us to today’s outing of an uber asshole Jessie Mac who elected to start shouting slurs and death threats all over FB posts for no fucking reason:
“A human, being…a total buttnut.” Today he decided to bust out the complete psycho:
He seems totally stable and not like the next guy who’s gonna be all over the news. Jesus, he just came straight out the gate with crazy death threats directed towards anyone and everyone, and didn’t stop:
“People are expendable” “I will end your life” “I fucking dare someone. Anyone” Yeah, for once the most alarming thing here isn’t this dude’s vocabulary so much as his intent to super want to kill everyone. What in the holy fuck is going on in Florida? Aside from New England, we cover more shit out of that sticky,humid asscrack of humanity than anywhere else. Take the Florida Methwaffle for example, we could write about him forever and never run out of shit to say. I’m pretty sure all guys named Jesse might be complete assholes. I’ve never met a cool one. If your name is Jesse and you’re reading this right now, please speak up and differentiate yourself from this thing:
Ugh.
This guy is unreal. Evidently, this isn’t his first psycho rodeo, either. This is daily life for Jackass Jesse, and it doesn’t seem like he’s gonna be letting up anytime soon:
Love the hearts background…
Looks like today isn’t his day. Sorry, pal…it’s not going to get much better since the Turtle was summoned. BTW, this photo of you is just a giant bag of douche personified. You don’t wear ties with Polo shirts. Especially like this:
That’s how you know he’s dangerous.
On Sunday he chose to start talkin’ shit about Jesus. That’s not cool. You know how I feel about The J Man. Jesus is my homie, bruh. Don’t be a dick.
Now, you can officially get fucked. I’m gonna go ahead and assume that he’s referring to cops here. You don’t say shit like this. Then, to assert the notion of sterilizing petty theft criminals? No. Child molesters, rapists, murderers (and future murderers like this guy)? I can get behind a sterilization petition. I wonder why he’s so damn angry? Could it be because he appears to have an addiction to pain killers and is desperately seeking them like a fiend? Looks like it:
That’s him messaging a damn near stranger looking for narcotics. “Need something because I can’t sleep” yeah, that’s not going to work. Back in the day, that’s what literally everyone was instructed to tell their doctors in hopes that they’d get narcotics. Nowadays, everyone knows that’s pure bullshit. And doctors don’t just take people off of a drug they’ve been on for five fucking years for no reason. You sir, had to fuck up dearly to get that to happen to you.
In summation, it seems this guy is a complete whacko who’s addicted to narcotics and throwing a murderous, racist, homophobic, bullshit tantrum because he can’t get his pain pills. Boo. Fucking. Hoo.
On the other hand, if you Floridians see this coming at you:
Get the hell out of there as quickly as you can. Obviously this guys is dangerously unstable and should probably be monitored by the boys in blue down in FLA.
Manchesterturtlette@gmail.com
Esther Manch on the book.
10 Comment(s)
Ahhh Florida, not like the rest of us!
Whats a matter twinkie, you o.d. on soy & find out they canceled your nmbla script? Or are the opiate’ wearing off? Or is it all 3? Something kinda fishy about a dude with matching earrings who’s a personal trainer in Miami! Who wants to bet his facebook was hacked? I doooo, I’ll drop a 1000.00 on it!
He’s got a future as a model for Blue Boy magazine…
Somebody got his fb pw and decided to make him famous. Male personal trainer in Miami with matching earrings, he sucks dick for money. Self hating homosexual off his lithium and without his opiates = this guy.
The problem with Florida is that it’s in Florida.
FloridaManDOTcom is ripe for material
RESPECT MY AUTHORITY!
Fear the beard!
He’s in Florida.
Within one week, some other nut is going to swallow a pound of bath salts and beat him to death in 3 seconds spider monkey windmill style, eat his head and ride away naked on a tricycle covered in mustard singing Celine Dion.
There’s a reason why Disneyland is in Florida. It detracts attention from the even more unbelievable shit that happens there.
Disneyland is in California.
Disney Land is everywhere.
Ooooo, a geography major!