Introducing Santa Gronk: The Greatest Patriots Fan Who Has Ever Lived

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I really hate the Jets. They’re just such a boring, crap happy franchise that somehow always manages to give us a good game, so long as Marc Sanchez isn’t eating a wall full of ass. But nobody hates the Jets as much as these glorious Patriots fans in all their splendor:

Such a loaded question to ask Santa Gronk and Mustache Mike. I mean, these guys must’ve circled the parking lot looking for the most grizzled bastards they could find. Then they came across these guys, who almost definitely are from Abington or Rutland, and they thought – JACKPOT!! You think the Patriots are gonna lose today with these guys in the stands? You think Santa Gronk is gonna allow that shit in his house? LOL. Think again. I thought before this game that it was gonna be a nail biter. I thought the 9 point spread was insane. Now I get it. Fuck fireman Ed, we got Santa Gronk. No one’s leaving here alive unless Santa Gronk says they can.

By the way, what exactly was Santa Gronk doing here? When they ask these guys what they think of the Jets they all lose their collective minds. Except for Santa Gronk. He looks like he’s working on the latest new dance move that all the kids are doing.

P.S. 99% chance Mustache Mike makes the most legendary steak tips in the history of Patriots tailgates.

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