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So apparently half the schools in this state have gotten bomb threats this week:

Milford cancelled school today because of it, which seems like complete bullshit to me. Look, I understand the need for public safety and I recognize that we can’t fuck around with bomb threats. But to me there are either two choices, 1) ignore these assholes and pretend you didn’t hear anything, or 2) start sentencing people who call in fake bomb threats to life in prison. Because clearly whatever the punishment is right now is acting as an appropriate detriment to get people to stop doing it.

I mean, if you have a big test the next day, you’ve got a pretty simple solution – bomb threat. Guaranteed extra day of studying. If they catch you you’ll probably just get a stern talking to and a writ of “boys will be boys.” Because obviously they’re doing this to fuck with us, and we have to stop letting them win.

At the end of the day there isn’t really a bomb and no one is gonna die. Seriously, when’s the last time they found a live bomb in a public high school? And since when do terrorists give warnings like this? Has it ever happened in Massachusetts? Someone who called up the school and said they were bringing Ebola with them to math class would be a more credible threat.

At the end of the day all of this lays solely on the shoulders of the kid who used a fake bomb to make $15 million in cash.

So for all you kids at Methuen and Tewksbury hoping for the big day, I got news for you. It’s not gonna work if you’re white.

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