Bleacher Report: Pittsburgh Steelers linebacker James Harrison has built a reputation as one of the NFL’s hardest workers. After going undrafted in 2002 and getting cut numerous times early in his career, Harrison went on to become one of the most intimidating defenders in the league.
In other words, nothing has come easy for the man nicknamed “Silverback.” As one might understand, Harrison was rather irked when his sons came home with two awards that are essentially participation trophies. Harrison took to Facebook and announced he will be returning the trophies:
First of all, we gotta give James Harrison props for still choosing to use Facebook as his preferred social media in 2015. I tried Twitter once and hated it. I HATE how this inferior form of communication has become the go-to for every shmuck out there who wants to be hip. Tom Brady is the only other athlete I’ve ever seen who uses Facebook instead of Twitter. Congrats James Harrison, you’ve joined some great company be refusing to buy into Twitter.
Anyway, when it comes to the trophies, obviously James Harrison is right. Obviously. Everyone with a brain knows that participation trophies have been the death of modern society. The whole concept of a participation trophy is just backwards. It defeats the whole point of having a trophy. It’s like a high school diploma. It no longer means anything because you’re gonna get one regardless of whether or not you actually do any work to achieve it. James Harrison never got a participation trophy. He got fines for being a mean son of a bitch instead.
With that said, I get why they are handed out – money. It’s all about money. People who run camps for kids are in the business of making money, as they should be. And how do you guarantee that kids will nag their parents relentlessly about coming back next year? You just give them all a trophy. Sure, some parents like James Harrison might not be too keen to it, but millions of parents out there have bought into this crap unfortunately. And at the end of the day, they’ll all be back next year and they’ll tell their friends to sign their kids up too. After all, junior came home with a smile on his face and then he got plopped in front of the iPad for three hours and didn’t cry. Life is good.
And just for the record, James Harrison’s kids will be back next year too. They probably had a great time, and even if he objects to sending them back there, the kids will win. Becauseat the end of the day kids are terrorists who ultimately get what they want 9 times out of 10.
Anyway, I wish James Harrison was a Patriot instead of a Steeler. He’s really been one of the greatest ambassadors for the game and for life in general. Besides the arrests. This is a guy who plays for the enemy but still came out publicly to say that it’s bullshit Tom Brady is being suspended for their opening game against the Patriots.
This is a guy who refused to go to the White House to meet Obama in 2010 after winning the Super Bowl, not for political reasons (which is lame), but because Obama would’ve invited the Arizona Cardinals if they had won. The only thing more bad ass reason for skipping the WH visit is because you had a family party with Giselle that you had to go to.
But most importantly I respect the hell out of James Harrison because he said this stuff in a Men’s Health interview in 2011:
“If that man was on fire and I had to piss to put him out, I wouldn’t do it,” Harrison told the magazine. “I hate him and will never respect him.”
His other descriptions of the commissioner include, “stupid,” “puppet” and “dictator.”
If the Steelers had defeated the Packers in the Super Bowl, Harrison said, he would have whispered in Goodell’s ear during the trophy ceremony: “Why don’t you quit and do something else, like start your own league in flag football?”
I just got so aroused. Imagining Roger Goodell burning and James Harrison standing there with a full bladder, refusing to unleash, just gave me a Deflategate pants tent. God bless you James Harrison. The world needs more people with your no fucks given attitude towards life.