Sports

James Harrison Makes 5 And 7 Year Old Sons Return Participation Trophies Because Someone Has To Take America Back

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Bleacher ReportPittsburgh Steelers linebacker James Harrison has built a reputation as one of the NFL’s hardest workers. After going undrafted in 2002 and getting cut numerous times early in his career, Harrison went on to become one of the most intimidating defenders in the league. 

In other words, nothing has come easy for the man nicknamed “Silverback.” As one might understand, Harrison was rather irked when his sons came home with two awards that are essentially participation trophies. Harrison took to Facebook and announced he will be returning the trophies:

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First of all, we gotta give James Harrison props for still choosing to use Facebook as his preferred social media in 2015. I tried Twitter once and hated it. I HATE how this inferior form of communication has become the go-to for every shmuck out there who wants to be hip. Tom Brady is the only other athlete I’ve ever seen who uses Facebook instead of Twitter. Congrats James Harrison, you’ve joined some great company be refusing to buy into Twitter.

Anyway, when it comes to the trophies, obviously James Harrison is right. Obviously. Everyone with a brain knows that participation trophies have been the death of modern society. The whole concept of a participation trophy is just backwards. It defeats the whole point of having a trophy. It’s like a high school diploma. It no longer means anything because you’re gonna get one regardless of whether or not you actually do any work to achieve it. James Harrison never got a participation trophy. He got fines for being a mean son of a bitch instead.

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With that said, I get why they are handed out – money. It’s all about money. People who run camps for kids are in the business of making money, as they should be. And how do you guarantee that kids will nag their parents relentlessly about coming back next year? You just give them all a trophy. Sure, some parents like James Harrison might not be too keen to it, but millions of parents out there have bought into this crap unfortunately. And at the end of the day, they’ll all be back next year and they’ll tell their friends to sign their kids up too. After all, junior came home with a smile on his face and then he got plopped in front of the iPad for three hours and didn’t cry. Life is good.

And just for the record, James Harrison’s kids will be back next year too. They probably had a great time, and even if he objects to sending them back there, the kids will win. Becauseat the end of the day kids are terrorists who ultimately get what they want 9 times out of 10.

Anyway, I wish James Harrison was a Patriot instead of a Steeler. He’s really been one of the greatest ambassadors for the game and for life in general. Besides the arrests. This is a guy who plays for the enemy but still came out publicly to say that it’s bullshit Tom Brady is being suspended for their opening game against the Patriots.

This is a guy who refused to go to the White House to meet Obama in 2010 after winning the Super Bowl, not for political reasons (which is lame), but because Obama would’ve invited the Arizona Cardinals if they had won. The only thing more bad ass reason for skipping the WH visit is because you had a family party with Giselle that you had to go to.

But most importantly I respect the hell out of James Harrison because he said this stuff in a Men’s Health interview in 2011:

“If that man was on fire and I had to piss to put him out, I wouldn’t do it,” Harrison told the magazine. “I hate him and will never respect him.”

His other descriptions of the commissioner include, “stupid,” “puppet” and “dictator.”

If the Steelers had defeated the Packers in the Super Bowl, Harrison said, he would have whispered in Goodell’s ear during the trophy ceremony: “Why don’t you quit and do something else, like start your own league in flag football?”

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I just got so aroused. Imagining Roger Goodell burning and James Harrison standing there with a full bladder, refusing to unleash, just gave me a Deflategate pants tent. God bless you James Harrison. The world needs more people with your no fucks given attitude towards life.

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13 Comment(s)
  • Drylaw
    August 17, 2015 at 8:45 pm

    I want to know apple orchard mangina guy’s take on this
    I got a dedication award in hs for wrestling
    I got it because I took my beatings for years and didnt bitch
    Coach said I heart and character
    He should have said I sucked and wouldn’t quit but was too klutzy to quit
    Even then we all knew it was crap, especially me
    But I was lucky my dad taught me from a young age character can’t take the place of ability but no one fucks with a stubborn sob that won’t quit

  • Tngsucks
    August 17, 2015 at 7:36 pm

    The one I use is “I wouldn’t piss down his throat if his head was on fire.”

  • Jafreese
    August 17, 2015 at 6:30 pm

    Whining about end of season trophys, whether for or against them, is short sighted. There are many more opportunities during a season and have much more of an impact on the kids than the end of year ceremony. I totally agree that people need to lose to learn how to win, learn things the hard way, etc. But giving a bunch of 6 year olds trophies as positive reinforcement to make them want to play another season is not part of the problem. Anyone whose coached at different levels knows you treat the players of different ages very differently. At 6 and 7 it’s far more about learning basic rules and having fun than anything else. Around 9 or 10 is when that changes, and most kids will know it’s become different.

    I won’t even get into the difference between participation/pay-to-play leagues vs select teams. But one thing I will say though, sounds like this was a camp? If it was a week or 2 long and they gave trophies out, then it probably is more of a money thing than anything else.

  • Dave
    August 17, 2015 at 4:12 pm

    Hey, I played Little League ball. My team sucked. My best friends were on the best team in the league. Everybody beat us.
    The only people who seemed to be mad were the adults. We played hard, had fun, went home. No trophies, or accolades.
    Best time of the summer. Great memories of epic fails.

  • Nanny
    August 17, 2015 at 12:47 pm

    I’ve liked Harrison as a player. Now I admire him as a parent and role model to his sons.

  • RSoxGuy
    August 17, 2015 at 12:45 pm

    Other than Harrison being a total piece of shit on the field, head hunting, late hits, $150,000 in fines and lets not forget when he kicked down the door his girlfriend was hiding behind while calling the cops and then snapped her phone in half and beat her, I completely agree with his take.

    But lets make sure he is applying this to everything in his kids lives. lets make sure his kids arent living million $$$ lives because Daddy played ball. They havent earned that life style. Make sure they have average clothes and average toys. No pristine 4 wheelers or newest Jordans. They didnt earn them.

    Point being people are getting too riled up about trophies in kids sports. Its for KIDS. Its not boosting their draft stock for fucks sake. We are talking about an 8 yr old and 6 yr old. They will have 4 years of REAL SPORTS with NO TROPHIES during High School (plus college if they play then). Then they are young adults who have the mental capacity to comprehend earned vs given. His six yr old probably cant tie his shoes, cut his own food or tell you what 2+2 is but we are concerned about a plastic $4 trophy? People gotta calm the fuck down. THE KID IS 6!

    If Harrison thinks his 6 yr old understands why Daddy is taking his trophy away, James needs to have his head examined for a concussion.

    • RSoxGuy
      August 17, 2015 at 12:49 pm

      Maybe trophies should be cut off at 9 or 10. Maybe 11. I agree that participation trophies are over rated but lets keep it in perspective. In youth sports with kids that are 6, its more about the parents seeing the look on the kids face and the kids excitement. 4 days later the kid couldnt give a shit less.

      I mean seriously, how many people do we work with on a daily basis who receive a “participation” check at the end of the week while the rest of us know they didnt do shit for it other than showing up?

  • Derek Fucking Grimm
    August 17, 2015 at 10:09 am

    And if your kid is disappointed, take it upon yourself to help them grow. Go out and play catch. Give your knowledge as a man. Teach your kid how to throw a football. If you don’t know how to throw a football, get off your ass and learn. Take an active interest in your kids hobbies. You want to see pride in your child’s eyes? Help them succeed through something YOU taught them. But no. Not today. Today we just care about the skewed definition of “self esteem”. Let me explain something to you: self esteem is not damaged through failure if you are taught HOW to learn. Do you want to know how many times people have failed and come back to do something great? EVERY PERSON WHO’S EVER DONE SOMETHING GREAT EVER. Do you think their self esteem was stunted because of failure? No. I’m sure they were disappointed. They were probably even downright upset. But low self esteem and disappointment are 2 completely different things.

    • helterskelter
      August 17, 2015 at 1:08 pm

      kids prob sucked at sports and should invest in a new hobby

  • Derek Fucking Grimm
    August 17, 2015 at 10:02 am

    First off, yes. These are values every parent should instill in their child. If you don’t want to give back the trophy because it’s “too hard” and you’re worried it might hurt their feelings, then your kid is going to grow up to be a giant pussy. Parenting is hard. Just ask my mother. She had to deal with my nonsense every day, and no matter how hard it was, she put me in my place. I saw the look in my mothers eyes when she had to tell me I couldn’t come home anymore. It’s not easy. But she’s a tough bitch, and she knew calling me on my bullshit and denying me the things I felt entitled to would make me a better man. And it has. If you don’t want to deny your child something they didn’t earn because it’s too hard, YOU are part of the problem. Put on your fucking dad pants and tell your kid to work harder and maybe they’ll get a fucking trophy. Don’t be a fuck tard.

  • Bill
    August 17, 2015 at 9:03 am

    Echoing my comment from the Facebook post :

    Tons of people have this attitude when they don’t have to back up their words with actions. I hope everyone who applauds him right now has the fortitude to cope with their own kids’ disappointment when all their friends get trophies and mom or dad have to explain why they are not.

    • helterskelter
      August 17, 2015 at 1:07 pm

      cry babies

    • Wabbitt
      wabbitt
      August 17, 2015 at 2:31 pm

      “You didn’t get a trophy because you didn’t win. Try harder next time.”

      It’s not hard. And if people actually had the sack to say that to their kids, we wouldn’t have a bunch douchebag hipsters blocking highways.

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