Sports

John Harbaugh Joins Whiny “Patriots Cheated” Bitch Club

john harbaugh memes

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New blogger for Turtleboy Sports. Introducing Vanderbooger with his hot takes on Baltimore Ravens coach John Harbaugh whining about losing to the New England Patriots…..

Like the average fan, when I am watching the NFL, I am pissed off. I have an unreasonable level of hatred for just about every NFL owner, I think the Competition Committee has completely ruined the game with their crusade against excessive celebrations and big hits, and I believe that the increase in pass interference calls in recent years has made pass plays about as much fun as watching European soccer. However, there is nothing, NOTHING that gets me angrier than those curmudgeonly old fucks on the Muppets faster than hearing from that segment of the population who believes that the Patriots have cheated and bribed their way to success over the past 13 seasons.

This is why I reached a new level of rage this morning when I saw John Harbaugh’s reaction to the Patriots running an unusual formation last night.

“It’s not something that anybody has ever done before,” Harbaugh said, via NFL.com . “They’re an illegal type of a thing and I’m sure that (the league will) make some adjustments and things like that.”

“We wanted an opportunity to be able to identify who the eligible players were,” Harbaugh said. “Because what they were doing was they would announce the eligible player and Tom (Brady) would take it to the line right away and snap the ball before (we) even figured out who was lined up where. And that was the deception part of it. It was clearly deception.”

In other words, Harbaugh’s panties were in a bunch because Shane Vereen reported to the referee that he was an ineligible receiver before the play. Now normally you have FIVE fat bastards who are not eligible and their numbers start with 5, 6, or 7. Since there were only FOUR fat bastards on the line, this was very confusing to Harbaugh. Especially since Vereen is NOT a fat bastard and the Ravens instinctively had a guy covering him.

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The only deal was that Vereen (#34) couldn’t go downfield, or else he would’ve been subject to a fat man downfield penalty:

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But because the Ravens wasted a player covering Vereen, who was ineligible to catch the ball and was basically being used as a decoy, the Hoo-Man was wide open across the middle and got an easy first down.

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Geno Smith could’ve completed that pass.

Harbaugh, you are a fucking idiot and the rest of us are again left scratching our heads and wondering just how the hell some of these ass clowns in the NFL head coaching fraternity get their jobs. I will just never understand this. The federal government and the central administrative offices in the Worcester Public Schools have nothing on the NFL when it comes to hiring and re-hiring incompetent bozos with no clue what they are supposed to be doing.

You wanted an opportunity to be able to identify who the eligible players were??? I was at the game and it was announced over the goddamn public address system. So you wanted more time? Is that what you are saying, Harbaugh? You wanted Bill Belichick to give you more time to read the numbers on players’ jerseys so you could formulate a plan for your crap happy defense to try to stop them?

And here I thought that the whining about the Patriots cheating was limited to clowns from Jersey, Buffalo and San Diego on Facebook using terms like “Cheatriots,” “Belicheat,” and “Spygate” over and over again because their crappy teams can never beat the Patriots when it counts.

patriots memes

Sure enough, The NFL came out on Sunday and said that the Patriots’ actions were completely legal from a formation and reporting standpoint and Harbaugh is now the laughing stock of the league for being completely clueless about the rules. Tom Brady became the first person in history to actually take two giant dumps all over Coach Harbaugh’s face in one evening. He led the Pats back – twice – from 14 point deficits and then offered the coach a valuable piece of advice: Learn the rulebook.

I have said it before and I will say it again. The cheating argument is getting really, really old and it stems from the fact that no one can deal with the Patriots being better than them. Those three banners are not there because the Pats (legally, at the time) videotaped opponents in 2001, 2003, and 2004. They are there because the Pats are better than everyone else, but they are particularly better than John Harbaugh. Tom Brady made an ass out of you, yet again, and you will now be spending the rest of the winter watching your brother recruit for Michigan and trying to come to grips with the fact that Ed Reed and Ray Lewis are not going to walk into your office and save your defense. And while you’re at it, learn the rulebook.

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