John Lackey: Stop Whining About Nelson Cruz Juicing His Face Off And Strike Him Out Instead Of Giving Up Another HR

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So the Boston Red Sox continued their never-ending quest for mediocrity in 2014 by getting a spectacular performance from Jon Lester yesterday afternoon, before getting facialized by the Nelson Cruz and the Baltimore Orioles in the nightcap.

Apparently John Lackey isn’t happy about the latter. No, he’s not upset about the fact that he gave up 10 hits in five innings, or the fact that this was his third straight miserable performance. He was upset that the guy who beat him is MLB’s new poster child for juice heads.

“I’m not even going to comment on him,” Lackey said. “I’ve got nothing to say about him. There are things I’d like to say, but I’m not going to. You guys forget pretty conveniently about stuff.”


FYI Lackey is referencing the fact that Cruz, who went 5-5, and hit his 27th home run, was suspended last year for 50 games for juicing his brains out. When Cruz went yard on him in Camden Yards back in April, Lackey had this to say:

Multiple things,” Lackey said when asked if his frustration regarding a two-run home run he allowed to Cruz was due to a pitch or the shallow left field in Camden Yards. “More than that, probably.”

Does Lackey have a case? Well, yes and no. First of all, it’s complete bullshit that people like Cruz do what they do. Last year the Red Sox lost a game mid year in which Jhonny Peralta hit a game winning home run for the Detroit Tigers. What SHOULD have happened if MLB was serious about getting steroids out of the game, was that the Tigers should’ve had to forfeit that game, because after all, they were the ones who benefitted most from Peralta’s juicing. The player’s union will protect it’s players, which is understandable. So the only way to put “peer pressure” on players to quit juicing their faces off is to make sure it affects the whole team, especially those who don’t juice. Let the teams police themselves and steroids will be out of the game yesterday.


So yea, he has every right to point out the obvious fact that Cruz is juicing AGAIN this year. Before doing roids Cruz was just a fat guy who could occasionally hit you home runs before inevitably finding himself on the DL:


Now he’s a lean, juicing machine, built to go to the distance:


Cruz has hit over 30 home runs once in his career. Usually he’s good for around 25. This year he hasn’t missed a single game and he’s on pace to hit over 50 dingers. Obviously he’s juicing. Everyone knows that. Plus, he plays on the Orioles, a team who put together the greatest juice team of all time in 1996. You think Cal Ripken played in that many straight games by eating Flintstone vitamins? You think Brady Anderson magically hit 50 home runs by hitting the gym? When I say the name Chris Hoiles, do you think “30 homer and 100 RBI” because that’s what he did for that team.

So given the fact that we all know Cruz is a dirty player, Lackey still needs to shut the fuck up. He spent a lot of his post game talking about how he was “satisfied with the stuff that he had” because he had 11 strikeouts. Newsflash – you gave up five earned runs in a game we lost but HAD to win. I don’t give a shit how good your stuff was, because it wasn’t good enough.

Look John, we all know steroids are still in the game and guys like Cruz are gonna keep doing it until they get caught. How bout stop whining about it and strike their ass out anyway? Think Clayton Kershaw gives a fuck that he has to face juicers? Nope. He just goes out there and gets them out. Think Jon Lester cares? Nope, Cruz went 0-4 against him THAT SAME EXACT DAY. Zero fucks given by Lester.

And Lackey is the last person who can really say anything about someone else being an asshole. This is a guy who got paid for literally doing nothing in 2012 and helped sabotage the 2011 season with shit like this:


He’s also a guy who won a World Series in 2002 during the peak of the steroid era with the Anaheim Angels. You think guys like Troy Glauss, Tim Salmon, and Brendan Donnelly were just eating their wheaties that year? Or how about last year when he won another championships when Big Papi had another magical season as he inched his way to age 40?

Look, I like Lackey a lot. His turnaround last year was nothing less than a miracle and he should be credited for it. But the fact of the matter is that he’s a guy with a checkered past. So instead of whining about other dingleberries in the game, he should concentrate on getting them out instead of planning his list of excuses for after the game.

Feel free to share your thoughts to keep the conversation going.

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2 Comment(s)
  • cardsman
    July 19, 2014 at 11:11 pm

    Great article and you are right. But…it is hard to watch this m- f-er, Cruz play like f-ing Superman, just like McGuire, Sosa, Bonds, A-Rod etc… Like you said, everybody knows. But what can you do unless he gets caught again? That is why it should probably be,one time a player gets caught, and he is gone for life.

  • Joe
    July 7, 2014 at 10:00 am

    Retarded article. Stop wasting your time.

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