Judge Sentences Millbury Muff To House Arrest In His Condemned House So He’s Living In His Rape Van, And Destroying The Neighborhood

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Thought I was reading The Onion when I saw this headline today:


Sentenced to house arrest in a house that’s condemned. #JudgeFail

We went down to this house to check it out this morning and it’s a real gem. He’s kept the siding in tip top condition:


His yard is littered with a dead mailbox carcass:


The patio is decorated with a couple minifridges


And the house itself is protected by a wooden bear


Turns out the guy who is living there is a huge muff:

A Millbury man serving time in the county House of Correction was released on house arrest two weeks ago, but he’s been forced to live in a van parked in his driveway because his house had been condemned and boarded up while he was in jail. Meanwhile, neighbors have complained to the Telegram & Gazette about sanitary conditions, with no running water or plumbing for the court-ordered living arrangement on the waterfront property at Dorothy Pond. The complaints come on top of concerns voiced to the town Board of Health over the past two years about filth, excessive animals in the home, infestation of insects and feces on the property, which led to the condemnation order July 25.


Christopher E. Bernard, 44, of 28 Hayward Lane, a self-employed plumber, was ordered July 25 to the House of Correction, after violating probation terms related to a December arrest for drunken driving, third offense, and an inspection sticker violation. Worcester probation officers visited Mr. Bernard’s residence the day he was released from jail, Sept. 12, and informed the judge of its condition, according to Coria Holland, communications director for Massachusetts Probation Service. 

This guy is a plumber and he has no running water. This tells you everything you need to know about him. He also kept a lot pets in this lovely abode:

Officers who went to Mr. Bernard’s home with an arrest warrant on July 23, before the house was condemned, found “deplorable conditions,” with an animal rummaging in the trash and two sickly dogs in the house. There were feces all over the deck and no water in sight, according to court documents.

Officers returned to the house after Mr. Bernard was taken into custody July 23 to conduct a well-being check of the neglected dogs. Sgt. Brian S. Lewos wrote in the application for criminal complaint that he and Officer Christopher Polselli found bags of trash stored in the rear of the property. The rear deck was covered with dog feces and “the smell was overpowering.” Police entered through an unlocked door and found a small white poodle-type dog with fur that was so matted, its jaw was closed shut, preventing the animal from eating, according to the report. A dog appearing to be a Rottweiler had hip problems, inverted rear legs and a tumor growing from its stomach.

Another small poodle-type dog in poor condition was also found. All three dogs had infestations of fleas and lice and excessively long inward-growing nails. Regional Animal Control Officer Daniel Chauvin and the Board of Health were called in. The animals were retrieved by the Animal Rescue League of Boston, although the Rottweiler had to be euthanized, according to Mr. Chauvin.

Sgt. Lewos wrote: “Due to the fact that there were numerous bags of trash, dog feces and urine on the floor, the unbearable smell and the overall uncleanliness of the property, it was determined that 28 Hayward Lane was uninhabitable and any and all occupants were ordered to vacate.”

Why can’t these people just be white trash and not bring any animals down with them? I understand you’re a disgusting slob. It’s just who you are. But what did these poor dogs do wrong to get stuck with your sloppy ass?

And shockingly he doesn’t really care for the police:

Millbury Police Sgt. Kimberly Cadrin, who had gone to the Hayward Lane house with Officer Nicole Oliveri, wrote in her report that Mr. Bernard resisted arrest and started calling them female obscenities and “pigs.” Sgt. Cadrin wrote that Mr. Bernard said he was “waging war on the police, the judge, probation and sheriff’s department for doing this to him.” Mr. Bernard was held at Millbury police headquarters until he was taken to court for a probation violation hearing July 25. He was taken directly to the House of Correction from the courthouse.

Waging war on the police? The only thing this guy is waging war on is his neighbor’s property value. His poor neighbors actually maintain a lovely abode:


He should be waging war on body odor. Guaranteed this guy smells like shit, regularly reads cop block, and collects some sort of disability from the government. 

And shockingly Chris Bernard is yet another example of someone who was sentenced to jail for a crime, but it wasn’t really a sentence in the first place:

Charges were filed against Mr. Bernard for three counts of animal cruelty. He was arraigned Aug. 8, while in custody, and pleaded guilty Sept. 9. Mr. Bernard was ordered to six months in the House of Correction, with 48 days to serve, and administrative supervision until Aug. 22, 2017. He was credited with serving 48 days and ordered to have a mental health evaluation and treatment. He was also required to pay $1,200 restitution to the town of Millbury at $100 a month, and not to have any animals in his house nor any control over animals.

In other words, he was already in jail for another crime, so they just let him get a 2 for 1 sentence by giving him credit for the time he was already in jail, rather than add on time for the new charges. Because…..Massachusetts!!

Anyway, the home is for sale, and it’s a real fixer upper. In the meantime the dude is living in this rape van in the driveway:


You ever notice that the people who put up “No Trespassing” signs usually own property that is the least desirable to trespass on? Like any burglar who was walking up and down that street would pick your condemned house to rob. Although that minifridge and broken mailbox are appealing. Luckily the wooden bear will scare people away. Oh yea, and somehow this guy has an Audi parked there too, but with no plates:


Because this is what white trash does better than anyone – stockpiles broken down, unregistered cars on their run down property. And he might be kicked out of the house, but that doesn’t mean he’s not stealing electricity from it. No on will ever notice this extension chord coming out of my rape van!!


I’m sure he’ll end up paying that electric bill. Definitely.

Anyway, muffs are everywhere. They invade even the nicest of towns. This guy inspired Turtleboy for a new blog idea – we find the biggest muffhouse in each town. Obviously places like Southbridge, Webster, Worcester, Fitchburg, and Spencer have no short supply of them. But we’d like to find some shithouses in places that don’t look like a scene out of The Walking Dead. Do you have a muff in your town who is destroying property value and keeping a place like this? Let us know. Could be an interesting blog series.


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3 Comment(s)
  • Shamu L.
    September 26, 2016 at 8:06 pm

    Just keep looking around Millbury. There is easily another half dozen.

  • Kirby Perkins
    September 26, 2016 at 7:41 pm

    One word: Millbury.

  • True Reality Speaks
    Mirror Mirror
    September 26, 2016 at 5:59 pm

    If he isn’t already a convicted felon, he’ll be voting for Hillary. Then again even if he is a felon he’ll vote for Clinton, ‘cuz Democrats.

    All jokes aside, and it’s not an excuse, but this guy sounds mentally ill.

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