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Reader email:

Yea, Milky Mike Gaffney, the love child of Rad Paul and Eminem, is still a thing. He still doesn’t understand how the First Amendment works, or libel. And he still insists on embarrassing himself while trying to remain relevant. It’s really, really sad. I’d say I feel bad for him but him and his wife are such horrible people that I wouldn’t mean that.

As you can see he is clearly scared of Margaret Melican. Not that I blame him, I would be too. She’s one of the top lawyers around, and Gaffney knows that no one can get to the bottom of his bullshit more than her. Now he’s trying to get her off the case by claiming she represented his wife before? Yea, nice try Milky Mike.

As you can see from the email, he thinks a judge can get us to stop blogging about the fact that he is SUING us. Ya got that? He’s going out of his way to bring us into the public spotlight and now he expects us not to talk about it. And the lawsuit really is hilarious. He’s claiming that we’re harassing him because YOU PEOPLE voted for him to advance in the first round of Turtleboy Ratchet Madness. Looks like some of you people might have to come to court too!!

You gotta see some of the discovery he’s demanding too. It’s glorious…..

Copies of all blogs where “dont poke the turtle,” the “turtleboy graveyard,” and “the internet is forever” are mentioned:

Keep in mind, Gaffney shared countless blogs of ours on social media, many of which referred to his political opponents as being in the TBS graveyard. Many of which mentioned not poking the turtle.

He wants copies of blogs where we brag about being undefeated in court (which we are):

Here’s the best part – he wants copies of all blogs in which Attorney Ricard N. Vulva is mentioned:

Stop! Who did this???!!

I swear to God. Dick N. Vulva. This is the level of insanity that this frosty tipped bitch has reached. And yes Milky Mike, we can call you a frosty tipped bitch, because that’s exactly what you are, and the First Amendment affords us the right to do so. You might think we’re scared of you because you have unlimited money and time, and no life, so you can afford to drag this out as long as possible. But we’re in it for the long haul baby. Get used to in. We will win. And we will continue to blog about you all we want.

He wants copies of blogs where we mention being the reason he finished in 2nd place in the 2015 City Council election, something he has agreed with us with in the past. He also wants copies of blogs where we’ve mentioned our social media pages getting shut down, apparently because he’s trying to prove that we’re…..up to something bad?

He wants pictures of t-shirts we sell AND the “dont poke the turtle” coffee mugs.” He seems obsessed with this phrase:

He wants blogs where we mention page views, because part of his lawsuit is that we don’t get 1.2 million page views a month, as we allegedly told him we do.

Mike advertised with us for some of our peak months in 2017. Here’s your page views from February to August Milky Mike:

Little bit more than 1.2 million. That’s embarrassing.

He apparently wants us to list the real names of all our bloggers (watch out South Shore Turtlegirl):

He mentions Vulva AGAIN:

He wants documents from a small claims suit the defendant won in court over former deadbeat advertiser Monster Movers:

He wants any Facebook or Twitter comment where me mentioned the fact that he’s suing us:

He wants any comments we made about him from such Facebook groups as “The Truth About Worcester,”

He wants a copy of “documents” that “track or manage” every social media account associated with Turtleboy, and the person or people who has access to these accounts:

Loved this one too:

Yup, he wants all copies of pictures of him and his dumpy little ginger wife, who doesn’t seem to mind the fact that he had an affair with another woman. Pictures like this:

Pictures that he posted freely on his open social media pages, forgetting that we were Facebook friends. If my wife looked like that I’d probably want them down too. Don’t feel bad for her though, she is the driving force behind a lot of this. She’s the one who recorded the cringeworthy “Cheers” videos after all. She’s the one who has egged on his insanity, instead of being a responsible wife who gives her husband good advice.

That’s her and him at the recent Republican convention at the DCU Center. He’s desperately trying to prove that he still lives in Worcester, even though he’s been bragging about his “new opportunities” in Florida. Many local Republicans want nothing to do with him since he’s clearly insane. Yet he seems hellbent on proving that he still lives in Worcester, and has been posting about it on his Facebook page.

Yet here he is messaging in October, announcing that he’s moving to Florida. It reads like a child throwing a hissy-fit, which is exactly what Milky Mike is – a child:

HAHAHHAHHAAH!! What a BITCH!! “Margaret’s bullshit today is the final straw.” How scared is he of Margaret Melican? It’s amazing.

Margaret Melican, like many other former supporters, used to have a Gaffney sign in her yard. But after Milky Mike started with his insane conspiracy theory nonsense people no longer wanted to have his signs in their yard. But as you can see from his tone and words, he feels like people owe him something. Because he’s the second coming of Jesus Christ.

My favorite part was how he’s convincing himself that he’s a shoe in to win re-election, and his wife also could’ve won. Meanwhile they can’t just admit that Mike dropped out because he knew he was gonna lose, and his wife had even less of a shot. They remained on the ballot and neither came close. Even worse, everyone who was associated with them got destroyed too. Literally everything Milky Mike touched went to shit, because nobody likes him. I know you’re reading this Mike, and no my name is not Aidan, as much as you’d like everyone at Turtleboy to be named Aidan. You suck at everything.

Coreen, who refers to herself as “Hit Girl” in a private group message she used to be in, is basically Milky Mike’s muscle:

As you can see, this bitch has the crazy ex-girlfriend eyes:

To say that she’s infatuated with Milky Mike is the understatement of the century. If I had to come home to that every day I’d probably hate everyone too.

This is them campaigning for Stephanie Fattman:

They also campaigned for Kate Campanale a lot too. And Mike bitched incessantly to us about how neither of them would campaign for him. Gee Mike, maybe it’s because no one wants to publicly be associated with your antics? You had one media outlet in this town who actually could stomach you. Now you’re suing them. This is your life.

It sounds like he wants any email and Turtleboy blogger has ever written in which Gaffney’s name is mentioned:

He wants a “hit counter” for Turtleboy articles during the time that he advertised. Which apparently is the term he uses for “page views”:

Sure thing Mike:

Your move.

He wants copies of private messages between the “defendant” and Margaret Melican, as well as copies of blogs in which we mention the District 5 City Council race:

He wants all copies of posts made in private group that we are not in, such as “Splinter Cell” and “Get In My Rape Van”:

Yup. He not only mentions Dick N. Vulva, he also references a rape van. Oh yea, he’s completely SANE!!

He wants our entire Facebook history:

Copies of Turtleboy Live shows, which no longer exist since Facebook keeps taking down our pages:

We’d love to get those back Mike. Can you hook it up?

Oh, and Milky Mike, do you remember that time you asked us to write a blog for you (after Coreen gave you permission of course) and told us you’d “review and sign it”:

Sounds a lot like YOU are Turtleboy to me. Just sayin. Also, love how he just refers to Dianne Williamson as “the lesbian.” Nice guy.

Oh, and FYI Mike has been whining about leaving Worcester because we all don’t appreciate him enough since November of 2016:

Pathetic.

Anyway Mike, I’ve never met you before and I don’t even live in Worcester. I thought you were a decent guy and I probably would’ve voted for you. But you just can’t stop embarrassing yourself. Good luck finding out who Dick N. Vulva is though. I heard he really takes his enemies to pound town.