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Guest Blog: Minnesota Moron Wears Worst Adrian Peterson Outfit Ever

Editors Note: Turtleboy Sports accepts guest blog submissions on a trial basis. If the takes are hot we’ll keep you around. This is from Turtleboy Sports intern Steve L. Follow him on Twitter @steveandubshow.

Someone direct this MC Hammer wanna-be to the nearest bridge.


I don’t give a shit which side of the fence you’re on with this entire Adrian Peterson whooping his son’s ass case, but we clearly know who this lady supports. Look at this fucking loser. Please take a second and let’s just indulge in this photo. The biggest issue here isn’t even the fact she clearly supports Peterson, this piece of shit made a conscience decision to slip her cottage cheese thighs into MC Hammers pants. Is he dead? Not sure I’ll check but if he isn’t this bitch is clearly fucking him and like any scumbag, did the walk of shame in those sad excuse for a pair of pants.

Let’s go even further, you know for a fact EBT cards do not buy tickets into these games, most likely why you’re stomping around in thong flip flops tail-gating. Let’s also make no mistake that stick in your hand which most people assume would be your “switch” that shows your support for Peterson is in all likeliness your actual cane, which you probably use as a prop just in case you’re being watched because I’d almost guarantee this fucking loser is claiming disability and getting a nice fat ass check from the state.

People like this woman make me laugh. God make a point but fucking match, or maybe not wear zebra print pajama pants. How about you untie that jersey take that stupid fucking hat off that the state clearly paid for, crack that “switch” in two and shove it up your ass. Adrian Peterson doesn’t want your support, he thinks he did nothing wrong, so for you to waltz the fuck out into public looking like something sloth shit out is not only a waste of your own time, but now I have spent my own personal time being thoroughly pissed off over it. Find a bridge and jump. Want to support anything, go adopt an abused child and for the love of God give those fucking pants back to Goodwill.

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  • Uradic
    September 22, 2014 at 2:57 pm

    Sooooo….being verbally abusive, through the written word, of a woman you donlt know and are clearly speculating about makes you……what? Better? LOL!

    I got a funny feeling if you thought you could be a guest in AP’s house to swim in his pool and ride in his car and drink with, if no one would ever know, you’d do it in a heart beat.

    There. Now how does it feel to be on the recieving end of baseless accusations, verbal abuse, ad hominems, and straw man logic? Feel good?


  • Wabbitt
    September 18, 2014 at 10:01 pm


    Sorry Steve, but these are some ice cold takes. I feel like I’m at Fairway Beef right now.

    • steven lawrence
      September 19, 2014 at 3:44 pm

      don’t apologize. My mom liked it.

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