Hoodrat Heroes

Lawrence CNA Gluttonchunk Films Herself Threatening To Smack The Shit Out Of Quadriplegic Former Client While Driving With Kids In Back Seat

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Krystina Maria Parisé was in a horrible car accident 2.5 years ago that left the Haverhill mother of two paralyzed and in a wheelchair. She has caretakers help her out, including someone she already knew. But the problem is that one of the caretakers is from Lawrence. Not good. And apparently this CNA didn’t work out too well, the two went their separate ways, and the CNA left this ratchtacular goodbye video that you simply must see to believe:

So Lawrence it hurts. Let’s break down that long winded diatribe with her children in the backseat listening to the whole thing, which of course she recorded while driving…

Classy. Always. You’ll never be able to have what I have. So I’ll always be that classy bitch.

Oh yea, nothing says classy quite like a Lawrence Gluttonchunk swearing at a disabled woman in front of her children.

I’ll let you know cuz I’m not scared of you.

You’re not scared of a woman in a wheelchair. How gangsta of you.

Wheelchair or not, I’ll smack the shit out of you. And it’s not a mother fucking threat, it’s a mother fucking promise.

Oh I see. This is what she meant by classy. Threatening to smack the shit out of a quadripalegic woman.

Don’t fuck with me or you will get what you get.

Just a reminder, her small children are witnessing this. Just another typical commute home for the Lawrence Gluttonchunk.

Don’t make me call the agency. Don’t make me get ugly.

Girl, no one has to make you get ugly. That shit is natural.

But congrats on finding a guy who’s willing to toss the ol yogurt slinger where the sun don’t shine.

You fat fucking whale!!


It’s not every day you get called fat by someone who can’t tell where their second chin ends and their third chin begins.

Don’t fuck with me. And lazy? Never that baby girl.

Yea, she ain’t lazy. You can tell by what great shape she’s in! Round is a shape. Just sayin.

I’m a mother of three and all I do is work for mine. Unlike you I do what I gotta do for mine. I don’t sit there and cry over a man who don’t want me. And now I know why he don’t. 

Yea, she don’t cry. But she does pre-emptively message Turtleboy when she knows she’s about to become Turtleboy famous. This actually happened. The gravy dumpster’s name is Nashylyssette Ortega. I shit you not, her name is Nashylyssette. As in, a combination of ashy and nasty. Which is a great way to find out that your parents don’t love you.

First we received this from her last night and had absolutely no clue what she was talking about:

Turns out it was a pre-emptive Turtleboy famous message. She wanted to get in our ear and plug the other chick as the ratchet. We didn’t even bother reading all the screenshots she sent.



She’s right, people had flashed the Turtle signal….

But we didn’t see the video until today.

Either way, there’s no getting out of this one Nashy. That shit was ratchet as hell. You literally threatened to assault a woman in a wheelchair while shouting vulgarities on SnapFace with your kids in the car listening to every word. There is no your side of story. Never in a million years could you possibly attempt to find a way to rationalize that display of hoodboogery.

But because we are fair and balanced we decided to see what the screenshots said, because maybe they COULD shed some light on the situation……

So she needs the job to buy a car? But…..she filmed herself in a car. Oh yea, I’m sure that’s legally insured.

Thus far we’ve learned absolutely nothing, except the two of them had a dispute about compensation, which quite frankly we have no interest in because it’s a private matter. What we do have an interest in is ratchet behavior. Like filming yourself threatening to kick the shit out of a quadriplegic in front of your children.

Then she defended herself from the accusations that she ate her food, which once again, I really could care less about…

Then she bragged about how she did her job, and apparently wants a cookie for it…

“I sat there and washed our chair by hand because it needed to be washed. I don’t clean it every day but I do it when it needs to be done.”

Translation –  I did what I am being paid to do. Sometimes.

And then they argued some more about who ate whose food….

Yea, I don’t think eating her food is nearly as objectionable as sleeping on the job, which she doesn’t seem to deny.

Nashy isn’t happy about the post either….

Yea, no one cares Nashy. All I know is, the details that led up to your fallout with Krystina are irrelevant. People fight, people quit jobs, and people have disagreements. But what normal people don’t do is film themselves threatening to slap the shit out of a chick in a wheelchair in front of her kids while driving someone else’s car. It might be customary in Lawrence, but out here in civilization, that shit is ratchet as fuck girl.

27 Comment(s)
  • Wabbitt
    May 21, 2018 at 10:50 am

    I feel like whoever fucked her had to flip through the folds until he smelled shit, then go back one.

  • Spunky
    May 18, 2018 at 9:26 am

    “WHAT”, does she think she has that another decent human being could possible “WANT”? Maybe the navel that has severe Vitamin D deficiency, maybe the spongy cheese that’s crusted into those hard to reach folds, maybe her poor ass excuse for mothering skills or maybe her uncivilized large dirty mouth. If she is threatening her clients in the public eye like that then just imagine what physical & emotional abuse she is causing behind closed doors. If she is a certified CPA, she can kiss that certificate good bye because I am a mandated reporter. I also will be calling & sending a copy of the video to that local Obudsman.

    • NR
      May 18, 2018 at 9:34 pm

      I couldn’t find her on the license verification as a CNA. So she must be working as a home health aide, or private duty. Because her ass would be reported to the Board of Nursing if she was a certified nursing assistant.

  • Ray Patriarca
    Not even with your dick
    May 18, 2018 at 7:14 am

    Someone actually stuck their dick in her gagoosh ? More than once? You’d have to roll her around in a vat of pizza flour just to find the wet spot. There are some really desperate dudes in Lawrence. I’d spank it before I’d ever get within 20 yards of her sweaty cheese factory.

    • Nasty Wildebeast
      May 18, 2018 at 8:51 am

      I bet that nasty beast’s kids are not from the same Baby Daddy and I’m sure he wears a Chicago Bulls hat and he, just taking a wild guess here, has an EBT card, Food Stamps and is on Masshealth.

      That ‘Animal” is what you get in Lawrence. Did it rreally call the other woman Fat? HAHAHA. That is too funny. It needs to buy the disabled woman another bag of Doritos. I’m sure it was the Gigantic Family size bag you can only get at BJ’s. It probably sucked them down in one sitting before it broke the bowl and then took a nap instead of helping the woman. Talk about a disgusting, nasty, gross animal. It can’t even wash it’s undercarriage properly and there is fer sure some nasty heat and stench wafting out from that nether region.

      Welcome to Lawrence. The Sanctuary City for Nasty Animal Wildebeasts.

  • whatevuh
    May 18, 2018 at 5:31 am

    remember when Trump asked why do we take all these people from shithole countries, and the dems went nuts over it? Well, now we know what he was referring to . . . . I give you “Miss. Shithole”

  • Stunt Penis
    May 18, 2018 at 5:21 am

    JESUS CHRIST! SOMEONE FINALLY CAUGHT A REAL PICTURE OF THE SASQUATCH! (After being dunked in a vat of depilatory)

  • Sri Gull
    May 17, 2018 at 9:16 pm

    I like how she says there are two sizes to the story, yea. Jumbo and fucking Orca Jumbo…

  • Taryn St Aubin
    May 17, 2018 at 8:05 pm

    Holy walrusaurus Rex!!!!

  • Tom Blackburn
    May 17, 2018 at 7:03 pm

    We seriously need ovens for fatsos. Disembowel them, let their organs spill out as they die, then shove them in head first.

    • Grease Fire
      May 17, 2018 at 8:47 pm

      Grease Fire, that slob could power 300 homes.

      She said… “Don’t make me get ugly” bahhahaha wow! That garbage truck has sailed bitch!

      She said…. “you’ll never have what I have” What’s that a cholesterol level of 800?

      She called somebody else fat…. She’s dumber than she looks.

  • NR
    May 17, 2018 at 6:03 pm

    Good God…all those rolls jiggling as she talks and rolls her head back and forth. What the hell is up with those raccoon eyes? One ugly bitch. Inside and out.

    • Grease Fire
      May 17, 2018 at 8:50 pm

      Thought she was wearing a necklace… it’s fat crease all the way around her neck.. holy lard ass batman!

  • TJB
    May 17, 2018 at 5:01 pm

    And there it is, in all its stinking glory. The reason why Lawrence was lost. A big fat brown cockroach, popping out egg sacks from four different stooges. Probably brought up just like that (either here or on ‘the island’) where fuckery is awarded by having rent, food, utilities all taken care of by the state. A disgusting insect of a human being. Add 1-2000 more; and there is Lawrence.

  • La Migra
    May 17, 2018 at 4:30 pm

    So exactly why the fuck do we keep importing these low rent stank ass brown baby machines?

  • Colonel Archibald M. Greasey-Fatspic
    May 17, 2018 at 4:28 pm

    “Nashlysette” sounds like a disease that you get when an African sand flea bites you on the grundle and you bloat up, turn brown and shit your pants.

    That cunt’s got it bad. So does Lawrence.

  • Jack Straw from Wichita
    Jack Straw from Wichita
    May 17, 2018 at 4:11 pm

    I thought Divine of John Waters movie fame (Polyester, Hairspray, Pink Flamingos, etc.) died?

    • z
      May 17, 2018 at 4:27 pm

      I was going with André the Giant.

      Either that’s him in drag and he’s hiding out for some reason or it’s his sister.

  • Rich
    May 17, 2018 at 3:37 pm

    Had to go to Lawrence today to run an errand, and made it back unscathed. A good day!!!!

  • WTF
    May 17, 2018 at 3:27 pm

    Neither one of them are Rhodes scholars WTF

  • Want a cupcake
    May 17, 2018 at 3:15 pm

    Hold the fuck up…Did she just call someone fat?Did she not take a look in the mirror lately or she can’t because no mirror is big enough for her dinosaures fat ugly ass.

  • Ugly ass bitch
    May 17, 2018 at 3:02 pm

    So besides all that ratchetness,why does it look like her face is melting?

  • Rick Shaw
    Rick Shaw
    May 17, 2018 at 2:19 pm

    How does she get so fat on a 12.00/hr. CNA salary? Oh wait, she’s just another useless pig abusing her EBT cards and MA Health. She has 4 coat hanger dodging fuck trophies because she collects more $$ from the government for spawning future MS13 members. She’s the heifer that’s rolling around in an electric scooter (fat person mover) in Market Basket with her EBT lobsters and steak with the sparks flying as the scooter drags on the ground. Meanwhile her fuck trophies are rolling around in squalor in her section 8 hellhole that looks like it belongs in Fallujah. Good chance she’s not here legally but imagine the expense of deporting this Blue Whale? She’d have to go back via cargo ship or on the back of the plane that carries the space shuttle.

    • Joe Luke
      May 17, 2018 at 2:28 pm

      People like her make me sick. Live off the taxpayers and contribute zero to society. Karma will take care of this idiot. Generational stupidity.

    • Alexander!
      May 17, 2018 at 2:31 pm

      LMFAO SHUT THE FUCK UP!!! Stick your white ass money up your ass you in nigga

      • Ray Patriarca
        Old deplorable
        May 18, 2018 at 8:47 am

        You’re right. I’d rather stick the money that I WORK FOR up my ass…rather than give it to you lowlife, lazy motherfuckers. But, in this liberal state, the government steals it from me, against my will, in the form of higher taxes, and gives it to you ! This, so you can sit on your lazy ass, drink Henny, smoke dope and pump out more welfare puppies. Get fucked, you cockroach !

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