Lawsuit Of The Day: Lawrence Criscopoon Deadbeat Dad Rapper Is Suing Turtleboy Sports For Defamation Because His Tattoos And Weed Are Free
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I love the smell of Internet deformation lawsuits in the morning, and that’s exactly what I woke up to this morning. Today’s plaintiff in Turtleboy court is the Lawrence Criscopoon, Candido “Ave Therealstmc” Candido, who we blogged about last night. He owes thousands of dollars in child support, has spent a substantial amount of his adult life in jail for a series of violent crimes, has five kids by three different women, but still calls himself a good Dad, blames his baby momma for not letting him see his child, and has started a GoFundMe to file for visitation through the courts.
Oh, and he’s a rapper.
And his biggest accomplishment thus far in life has been receiving his GED in jail at the ripe young age of 36:
According to him we need to get our facts straight and “make sense of the slander we spread.” Thus he has consulted with his very real lawyer who is gonna get a kick out of this deformation lawsuit:
Just a reminder that the guy who claims to have a lawyer on retainer for deformation lawsuits still owes thousands in child support payments:
Because…..priorities.
Oh, and all those tattoos he’s got and the weed he brags about smoking like he’s a school boy experimenting with substances for the first time – all of that is free:
This is the new ratchet thing by the way. Claiming to get free tattoos. We’ve seen it at least a dozen times when we expose these people. All of their tattoos are free. Always. Because that’s what professional tattoo artists do. They give ratchets free tattoos. Oh, and weed is legal now, therefore it’s free.
According to the message he sent to our inbox before blocking us and thus preventing a Desk Girl response, we are fake news and NOT Real Reporters because we didn’t investigate the whole story:
Hmmmmmm…..seems like researching your criminal record and looking up how much you owe in child support isn’t real investigating. Apparently what he considers real reporting is when someone messages him so he can call his baby mommas money grubbing whores.
Please Criscopoon, whatever you do, DO NOT hire Attorney Richard N. Vulva. If you do we are fucked and the blog will close forever. That guy really knows how to pound the shit out of us in court. I can’t take his massive civil lawsuits anymore.
21 Comment(s)
Air Jordan’s, weed, tattoos, Pitbull and owes child support.
Add those ingredients together and you get Dead Beet Daddy Soup.
What a fucking loser.
workers are paying for all of his kids, and the baby mama’s and paying to keep this cretin in jail. wouldnt a bullet be much cheaper? its not like he is actually go to be around to watch the kids grow up anyway. he is only a sperm donor, nothing more. spay and neuter him and any woman he has slept with.
This pork neck Not a FAther he ‘s sperm donor fathers place children first not this slob .. . Stop spending money on weed and tattoos. Buy a treadmill .. how much money you make as rapper? ZERO.. time grow up get job be man support your kids
I knew lawyers were scumbags, but I didn’t know they all traveled in lowlife social circles. I mean they must, right? How else could every ratchet and thug have an attorney on retainer. I always thought the only attorneys that worked the hood were personal injury attorneys aka ambulance chasers. TIL, I guess.
Honestly though, lawyers are whores who will take any case. They will just require $10k retainer and bill you at $250 an hour.
The population of Massachusetts reminds me of that movie Idiocracy.
Go away, I’m Bateing!!!
Ha ha ha ha ha…the pictures kill me. Bones and Lumpy must be the laughing stocks of the ghetto. LOL
First time ever a convict(not named subway jarrod) gained weight on prison grub.
Can you please send desk girl to Law school? I would like to hear her thoughts on the Law.
Also what court did this total douche file in? Will survive a motion to dismiss?
This guy is life in jail on the installment plan. What a fucking pussy. Can’t pay his monthly payment, wtf?
Watch out Turtleboy I heard he has hired the esteemed law firm of Dewey Cheatem & Howe.
I don’t think tax payer funded defense lawyers take these kind of cases, because that’s the ONLY type of lawyer he’s familiar with. What a maroon ! Crawl back under your rock you fucking ghetto slug
Obviously. State appointed lawyers are only appointed for class A misdemeanors and felonies(charges that can result in jail time).
Rapper is the new way of saying unemployed.
My wife must be the worlds greatest rapper…
I thought he meant “Wrapper”, also called a “Rubber”
The fact that he slept with 3 women amazes me. He alone is a rubber with that personality and looks..
And with at least 1 of them twice (5 babies – 3 mommas – at least one was a repeat!)
Terrible math skills, lmao
Just kill all the druggies already.
Too fat to be a junkie.
Just a lazy fat shit that wants to smoke and snack all day.
In the Philippines we kill all druggies, especially dealers. Thank you.
Rody I am with you on this one.
His lawyer ? And WHO is paying for this lawyer Chudman ? Oh yeah right , it’s free cause you are on the public’s dime. You can’t afford to pay child support but you can hire a lawyer ? Maybe the lawyer works for free just like those tattoo artists and your weed ? Funny, you are a felon so how can you be handling so much weed ? Probation officer know your dealing ? Only in Amerika.