LeBron Missed Every Shot He Took In The Final 4 Minutes, Faked An Injury To Seem Tougher, And Embodied Why Millenials Are Such Weak Human Beings


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So LeBron James brought home a championship to the poor city of Cleveland tonight. And just like millions of sports fans across the country Turtleboy is conflicted. On the one hand, you have to be happy for Cleveland. It’s such a shitty existence. You had to figure when those juiced up Indians teams from the 90’s never won a World Series that this city was cursed.

On the other hand, how can you possibly feel good about Bron-Bron winning a championship? If he had gone out there and earned it, I’d tip my hat to him. But the only reason they won this game tonight is because Golden State sucked. Klay Thompson hit a layup with 4:39 remaining to make it an 89-89 game, and that was the last point this allegedly legendary team scored all night.

Meanwhile, everyone is blowing LeBron right now. He was the unanimous MVP in a series that Kyrie Irving basically won for them. There was ONE basket scored by either team in the final 4:38. It was a Kyrie Irving 3- pointer. It was the only thing that mattered and he wasn’t even considered for the MVP. Here’s what LeBron did in the final 4:38 in Game 7 of the NBA Finals:

Good for Bron-Bron for winning his third ring. What his teammates did was amazing. I just can’t get behind a guy who wins like this. Down by 3 with 10 seconds to go Bron-Bron had a chance to put the game away. He took the ball hard at Draymond Green and drew what was clearly a foul. That’s fine. But so was Bron-Bron.

Man, how did his wrist ever survive that routine fall? Turtleboy Jr. fell about as hard as that today and when he realized I wasn’t gonna give him the “are you OK” reaction, he just moved on to the next thing because he was fine. And so was LeBron.

But it was the way that he reacted to it that just cemented his status as a legendary dooshnozzle:

Give me a break. This is what a champion looks like to millennials. A drama queen who fakes an injury with a championship on the line so you’ll talk about how he battled through adversity. And make no doubt about it, he was 100% faking it. Literally a minute later he was on the line hitting the game icing free throw.


I feel bad for everyone under the age of 25 who didn’t get to grow up with Michael Jordan and Larry Bird. This is the guy they will remember as the defining player of their generation. A walking vagina who misses every shot he takes in the final four minutes of Game 7 of the NBA Finals, fakes an injury, and gets a ring for it.

P.S. The media’s reaction to LeBron’s fake wrist injury is the reason why he was rolling on the ground crying. Because he wanted them to say, “Oh my God, he just won the championship by hitting a free throw with a broken wrist. What a warrior!!!” And then they did:


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9 Comment(s)
  • Turtleboysucks
    July 28, 2016 at 1:56 am

    You are so dumb LOL. There was only a single field goal made in the last four minutes of the game. He didn’t break his wrist you dumb shit LOL. It probably hit a nerve so it was momentary sting (just like when you hit your elbow). I agree Kyrie was very good in this series. However, Lebron was the quarterback and did everything. Kyrie was their closer. This article is so stupid. I can’t believe you waste your life writing like this. Sorry ass mofo. You have no proper life. I bid you good luck you loser.

  • Boosh
    June 22, 2016 at 10:51 am

    41-41-Triple-Double. bishh why u always hatin

  • DG
    June 20, 2016 at 8:41 pm

    No question he faked it. I think he was trying to draw a flagrant on Draymond like he baited him into a gifted suspension. Pure unadulterated pussy. Arguably the most giant athletic specimen to ever play basketball and stoops to that level. Nothing would make me happier than to watch today’s little spoiled bitches get their heads hacked off in the paint by the Charles Oakleys of the yester years. The NBA is an embarrassing little girl’s league and has been for a long time. I love your write up on this.

  • LB
    June 20, 2016 at 7:33 pm

    Oh and that “block” at the end was clearly goaltending by Lebron at the same time his teammate was fouling the hell out of the shooter.

  • Dick
    June 20, 2016 at 11:56 am

    Don’t be a kunt Kevin. His defensive play was one of the greatest plays of all time. Fuck da Dubs

  • TurtleboyNotsports
    June 20, 2016 at 10:42 am

    I think it’s finally time to drop SPORTS from your TurtleBoySports website/name/image. You obviously talk about it very rarely and when you do, you’re absolutely nitpicking and focusing in on certain points like certain hippies do. Where these SJW are in the minority when they make their moronic views known, you do the same when you talk sports. Keep giving hot takes, just not on sports.

  • UsualSuspect
    June 20, 2016 at 8:36 am

    LeBron showed up when it counted, three straight dominant performances, gotta give him credit. The wrist drama was a bit overblown, it stung from whacking the hardwood floor I am sure, but seriously, that happens 10 times in a game when guys fall and nobody else rolls around like that. Glad it is over, Cleveland finally won something, back to our regularly scheduled programming here in Titletown.

  • LB
    June 20, 2016 at 7:19 am

    The NBA is the worst pro sports product of all time. If they called fouls, Lebron would be out in the first 20 seconds of a game. They are all hacking and whacking every second., banging into opponents every play. Travel every third step, turn the ball over with thier chest high dribble, palm the ball whenever touched, and hang on the rim like a jungle gym. Totally unwatchable.

  • EmfnT
    June 20, 2016 at 12:52 am

    I’m no LeBron fan-boi, but you gotta give credit where it is due. Monstrous games 5 and 6, then a triple-double in game seven. No one scored in the final 4 minutes, not just LeBron…and he had a monster block at a key moment very late in the game.

    I’m with you on most of your takes. But this one just comes off as juvenile LeBron hate. Be better than that, man.

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