Hoodrat Heroes

Legendary Fitchburg Driver Still Uses The Club On 01 Corolla

Want to have your business advert seen by over 500,000 people per month? Email us at Turtleboysports@gmail.com for more information, and check out our website about types of advertising we offer.

Follow us on Twitter and like us on Facebook

Check out our stuff on GoLocalWorcester


In previous blogs written about northern Worcester County, there were a few too many shots taken at Fitchburg. Rookie mistake. For that, I apologize. I really have nothing but love for the Twin Cities. It just so happens that, in this particular twin situation, Fitchburg happens to be the twin that came out a little, well, off. There is always that one twin. You know what I mean. You meet a set of twins and you immediately recognize that one of them is just a little different. You can never put your finger on exactly what it is that makes that twin different though. It just is what it is and you accept them.

On a recent endeavor to the Twin City Plaza, I truly knew I was living exactly where I should be. The Twin Cities are chock full of working class awesomeness. From the Dunkin Donuts worker you see every morning to get your crack on to the little old lady running on West Street – this lady is legendary.

Anyone who complains about not being able to exercise – if this lady can do it, so can you. Snow, sleet, rain. She’s out there. She’s more consistent than the U.S. Postal Service. These are the astonishing people with even more astonishing lives doing great things. These people work the daily grind and are proud of who they are, where they came from and what is theirs. You know how I know this? Because of this:

Screen Shot 2015-03-11 at 6.27.04 PM

First and foremost, I can assure you this is a picture with my fingers in the way. I learned I am atrocious at being discrete. Look beyond the blur. This right here. This sums it all up. What we have here is a 2000-2001 Toyota Corolla. Not only is this thing in mint condition at 15+ years old, but the owner of this car clearly loves the hell out of their Corolla, as they should. Toyotas last forever. They will never leave you stranded at the plaza after a long night of mai tais at Singapore. It’ll get you some safe and sound even if you aren’t entirely sure how you made it home in the first place.

If you look a little closer (I didn’t want to be the creep sneaking up to the window) you will see a yellow stick popping up. Yet, that is no ordinary yellow stick. It’s magical. That enchanting yellow wand is, yes you guessed it, THE CLUB! The freaking Club!! I don’t think I have seen one of these since 1992. For those of you who may be too young to know what the Club is, it is basically a steering wheel lock that is bright in color to deter the J-Nay’s of the world from stealing your car. For the visual learners:


Yep. That’s all it is. A vibrant stick with a hook that goes on your steering wheel.

The best part of this? This person truly believes that their early 2000 Toyota Corolla is such a hot ticket item, that they went out of their way to purchase an anti-theft device. For that I say, “YOU ARE THE FINEST COROLLA OWNER EVER!” This person represents what the Twin Cities are all about…Working your ass off for the things you have and caring passionately for the things you own; waking up early, going to work and putting in some overtime is what we do.

I salute you, Corolla owner with the Club, and the hard working citizens of the Twin Cities. One can only hope to catch a glimpse of that car again. Wherever you are Corolla with Club owner, I just want to tell you, you are representing the Twin Cities and representing them well.

Want to have your business advert seen by over 500,000 people per month? Email us at Turtleboysports@gmail.com for more information, and check out our website about types of advertising we offer.

Follow us on Twitter and like us on Facebook

Check out our stuff on GoLocalWorcester

10 Comment(s)
  • HaHa
    March 13, 2015 at 2:33 am

    Don’t pay any attention to me. I’m currently slamming so many beers I would make the movie “Animal House” a work in fucking progress as we speak (or as I slur speech). Hick-up!

  • HaHa
    March 13, 2015 at 2:19 am

    On and demographic for me? Old white beer belly kinda handsome (well maybe 30 years ago for real} funny as shit and still is… ya know. Good.

  • HaHa
    March 13, 2015 at 2:12 am

    Hey TG this is good stuff you are putting out here. Don’t listen to these nimrods. You are good and I love your stuff. I love a girl’s perspective plus with the humor you offer, that is classic.

  • BobnMic
    March 12, 2015 at 2:35 pm

    Nice job Turtlegirl. You are a very entertaining writer. I giggle with every line. You are funny!

  • Jafreese
    March 12, 2015 at 9:46 am

    Didn’t the club become completely obsolete after a movie showed all you need to do is snip the steering wheel with a pair of cutters and slide the club right off?

  • David
    March 11, 2015 at 9:49 pm

    And honestly… “Legendary” Jesus, get a life.

    • Jeffington
      March 11, 2015 at 10:44 pm

      Lighten the fuck up up for christ sakes. Or don’t read the shit.


  • David
    March 11, 2015 at 9:48 pm

    This is the dumbest article ive ever read. If you knew anything about cars, youd know Corollas between 2001-2005 have the highest theft rate of any car in 10 years.
    Secondly, have you ever used the club? That car isnt going anywhere. How is this news? This is why I hate Fitchburg. A bunch of HS losers that never made anything of themselves and so they went to report stupid stories. Great job, stupid.

  • Zomby Woof
    March 11, 2015 at 8:35 pm

    The owner of that vehicle probably has the same insurance agent that I have. My agent last year recommended that I use the Club.

  • Amy
    March 11, 2015 at 6:28 pm

    haha YESS! This is fun! Way to go Turtle Girl, Capturing those who represent us up here.

Comment on this Post


All-Star Worcester Parents Lay Siege To School Bus, Beat Up Bus Driver, Then Write Magnificent Things On Facebook
Comments From The Worcester Parent Bus Riot Blog Were Borderline Orgasmic
Hot Girl Threatening To Sue Turtleboy Sports Over Busgate, City Council Still Hasn’t Even Mentioned It