WTF

Legendary Grandma Destroys Shit Talking Daughter In Beer Mile Run But Only Cuz They Don’t Serve Scotch

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Source: A Texas grandmother who became the oldest person to complete an annual beer mile contest says she would’ve run faster if she’d been drinking scotch. Elvira “Vera” Montes, an 81-year-old woman from El Paso, beat her 47-year-old daughter Renee Reynolds’ time in the 2015 FloTrack Beer Mile World Championships in Austin on Dec. 1, The El Paso Times reported. Montes finished at 20 minutes and 24.62 seconds, the newspaper reported. Reynolds came in just behind at 21 minutes and 15.67 seconds. Montes’ son-in-law didn’t finish.

“I’m not a big beer drinker,” Montes told the El Paso Times. “I like beer when the weather is real hot and there’s nothing else to drink. I’m really a scotch drinker, Chivas if it’s available. If it was scotch we were drinking instead of beer, I would have run a lot faster.”

To complete a beer mile, runners must chug a beer before the start of the race then down a beer after each quarter mile. Puking means failure and disqualification. This isn’t her first time, either: Montes ran the beer mile in 2014 and has also completed five Boston Athletic Association 5Ks, according to Runner’s World.

“I don’t have any secrets, I just wanted to prove to my daughter that I could run and drink beer,” Montes told the magazine.

Ladies and gentlemen, this is what a hero looks like:

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“Yea, I’ll drink your dumb ass beer and destroy my daughter, who talks a lot of shit but can’t back it up, in a mile run. But it’s only because you pussies won’t let me drink scotch. See you at the finish line….bitch.”

Legends never die.

 

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Click on the image to get your Turtleboy Sports Revolution hoodie or browse other merchandise from the Turtleboy store.

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2 Comment(s)
  • Hob Nob
    December 15, 2015 at 10:11 am

    Faith in humanity restored.

  • pensrant
    December 15, 2015 at 7:13 am

    Well, there’s something for her resume.

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