Lesbo Ware River Rat Busted Several Times For Heroin Is Somehow Pregnant With A Baby Boy From The Turkey Baster Fairy

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Kristen Dubuque is a local Ware resident who is not only a junky with a mile long rap sheet spanning the course of one year (give or take), but now she is expecting a child with her junky of a lesbian lover- which lets face it was either via a turkey baster or a guy actually agreed to impregnate her with no strings attached.

If junkies wanna be be junkies, then go for it. But we draw the line when they bring an innocent child into this world addicted to heroin and suffering withdrawal. There’s nothing more painful to see than a newborn baby suffering from withdrawal. So the purpose for us writing about this chick is to urge the authorities to step in and do something, and hopefully remove this child from her care if the baby makes it to full term.

In December 2014, she was busted in a heroin drug bust in, where else – WARE!!

No, these are not extras in the Walking Dead. These are actual human beings who live in Ware and Gilbertville. And as you can imagine property value is on the rise!!

Kristen is the chick in the top right hand corner. Her lover, Joanna Valardi, is the woman in the bottom left hand corner who appears to be trying out for the Ukranian shot put team. Scissor me timbers!!

Then in July the Turtlegram and Gazette came out with possibly the most Ware headline possible:

Sturbridge police say Ware woman arrived with child to buy drugs

Because sometimes when you’re looking to conduct a drug deal and you can’t find a sitter you have to multi-task. It’s not easy being a deadbeat single mother from Ware.

So here’s what happened. Valardi and Dubuque were in a Chevy Lumina on Main Street. Police stopped themrandom check of the car’s status and stopped the occupants on Charlton Road. Both chicks lied about their names. Police found an envelope with heroin under the rear passenger seat, and the ratchet’s purse, the knife and some suboxone tablets, five of which were wrapped in paper with dollar amounts next to people’s names, and a whole bunch of clonazepam and methadone tablets.

Next thing you know the shot put champion’s phone starts to blow up with calls and text messages about buying drugs. A message from “Tammy Jo” talked about making a buy for $140. Kristen had also texted one of her buyers earlier in the day to let her know that she had the good shit. That’s when the cops took her phone, pretended to be her, and wrote her a text to meet her at McDonald’s. Naturally the junkie showed up with $140 on her lap in broad daylight with a baby sleeping in the back seat.

Meeting in the McDonald’s parking lot with your love child to buy heroin might be the most Ware move of all time. And have these people ever conducted a heroin transaction before? I know very little about drug dealing, but I have watched all five seasons of The Wire several times. And rule #1 is you don’t conduct business on the phone. You especially don’t use text messages, and whatever you do, don’t use real names or use the words “heroin” and/or “good stuff.” Come on now, act like you’ve been there before.

But wait, it gets better.

The next day was their arraignment and in the the least shocking turn of events ever, they didn’t show up. Well, naturally the cops tracked them down in Gilbertville. Because if the cops are looking for two junkies on the run, the first place they’re gonna look is Gilbertville.

It’s a ratchet magnet.

The caught Kristen pretty quickly:

But her boo tried pulling a Richard Kimball. Except instead of trying to find out who really sold the heroin in the McDonald’s parking lot, she ran into the Ware River:

Police Chief James Ayotte said he and Lt. Kevin Landine saw the women and knew they were wanted on default warrants. He said Ms. Valardi also eluded police on Monday when Detective Robert Toupin attempted to stop the car she was driving because she allegedly is unlicensed. When police approached the women on Main Street in the Gilbertville section of Hardwick Friday, they allegedly ran and a large manhunt ensued. State police, some with trained dogs, searched the area around Joslyn Road after police apprehended Ms. Dubuque, but Ms. Valardi ran off. A soaking wet Ms. Valardi was apprehended a short time later on Church Street in Ware. Police believe she went into the Ware River to escape capture.

And now these two are having a child together.

If there is any justice in this world then this child will immediately be taken from her if he miraculously makes it that far. Not exactly sure how this works, but considering how many babies seem to be dying when these idiots bring them into the world, you would think we could start taking more proactive steps in order to protect their lives. Plus, it appears by looking at her Facebook page that somehow this woman seems to already have young children who she may or may not have custody over.

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