Hoodrat Heroes

Local Fuckboi Martha Coakley Intern Leads Cops On Drunken High Speed Chase, Morons Defend Him For Making “Mistake”

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If you’re an aspiring politician it’s probably best not to get shit-faced while underage, hop in to your ride with bae, and lead a quarter-mile, high-speed, police chase on the busiest street in Weymouth. Ed Toomey, Abington’s favorite fuckboi, did just that in the wee hours of last Saturday morning

Here’s the story from Weymouth Wicked Local. And here’s Turtleboy’s reader’s digest version…..


First of all, this kid looks like one of the preppy pricks that had to face off against Johnny Depp’s crew in Cry Baby.



Toomey, a former intern for Martha Coakley, Campaign Manager and Chief of Staff for Abington Selectman Alex Bezanson, and son of former State Rep-wannabe Robert Toomey, took Weymouth Police on a hell of a ride after he blew a red light, right in front of them, on Route 18. The cops said he almost smashed into another car. The Po-Po, who witnessed all of this, flashed his blues and the liberal Alex P. Keaton impersonator took chase instead of pulling over. Swerving all over the road, doing upwards of 60 mph, until he plowed his whip over the sidewalk, annihilating a crosswalk system, and landing his ass in the parking lot of a hockey rink.

Oh, wait, this posh, drunken, poon isn’t going down JUST yet.

He proceeds to get out of the car, leaving homegirl just CHILLIN in the passenger seat, and takes off ON FOOT. While Eddie may have been in the running for Mr. Abington High a few years ago,


he apparently wasn’t known for his track skills, as he eventually gave up after the cop pulled a taser on him, and threatened to use it if he didn’t stop. No word on what Edmundo blew for booze level, but from the police report, I guess he reeked (probably of basic AF domestics) and was incoherently slurring his words when being questioned. A twelver of cold Bud Light was found in the crashed car. (My guess is he was trying to drink her pretty.)


It might be worth mentioning that this turd is only 20. Oh yea, and he’s the ultimate hardo:


So hard that his Abington street name is Ed Toombstone!!


Toomey tried to say he was partying at a friend’s house before his boozed-out fiasco. However, the chick in the passenger seat, threw Dylan’s Bar, in Brockton, under the bus for serving them.

Now, you would think Abington residents, who LOVE to hate on some junkies and miscreants on their town pages, would get the torches ready for one of their own, who put COUNTLESS people’s lives at risk (hockey practice is at all hours.) Oh no. It seems half the damn community is coming out to demand that the news article be ripped down from the Life in Abington Uncensored page. Thank Christ the page moderator has a pair, because anyone who is crying about the news article of this incident being posted, clearly doesn’t.










Waah. It was a mistake. Waah. He’s a good kid. Waah. You shouldn’t shame him. Waaaaaaah. Take it down. Waaaaaaaaaaaah.

Shut up.

You’re all a bunch of hypocritical queefs. OF COURSE he should be shamed. He could have KILLED someone. He gave up that right THE SECOND he walked in to a bar underage, got served, and then drove. He continued to forfeit that right when he took off from the police, not once, but TWICE. Anyone who spends his days preaching to everyone about who the lawmakers of this state should be, just to ignore them like they don’t apply to him, deserves what he gets. He was going for JFK but sucked so hard he managed to embody Teddy.

Let’s see how many of you defending him will be offering him rides to the Democratic Committee Brunches come verdict time, eh?










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19 Comment(s)
  • John Cena's Jorts
    October 19, 2016 at 8:54 pm

    looks 2 me like matt chirillo got lots of time on his hands. maybe he could use that time to write a song on his guitar that he probably got from his mommy bout how his gf is one of the biggest skanks around.

  • widowed
    October 19, 2016 at 8:47 pm

    I love the fact that you hold people accountable for posting in favor of a drunk Driver. They need to remember that they get copied and pasted even if they delete the original post

  • Kris
    October 19, 2016 at 6:18 pm

    Hey Ed,
    Big Boy called. He wants his hair back.

  • buckboard 25
    October 19, 2016 at 5:47 pm

    so bad how bad you want to be like barstool sports, might as well copy every word they say and pretend like its your own. the only person i can think of who would take this much time to do a story about how they are mad people are defending someone on facebook is dj drew, so well played hiding behind the turtlegirl username but just stick to what your best at like trying to get with middle school girls, calling the cops on yourself, and making your family move because everyone in the town of abington thinks your a weird pedophile

    • October 19, 2016 at 6:19 pm

      So you’re not interested in seeing my man-rack?

  • disguted
    October 19, 2016 at 2:31 pm

    It sounds like he is trying to become a democrat senator from Ma.. It wasn’t his fault as the cops had been watching a movie and got so excited they just wanted to chase someone. Imagine if it had been you driving by just when these movie watching cops got so excited they just had to chase someone. But this is in the past, so what difference does it make?

    • George Coffey
      October 19, 2016 at 3:29 pm

      He would have to put the car into water and left the girl to die in order to qualify as a Massachusetts US Senator.

      Do any of the “defender” asshats understand that when he got behind the wheel he had decided it was okay if he killef someone? Do they care?

      He didn’t make a mistake. He made a decision.

  • Hey, Stupid
    October 19, 2016 at 1:39 pm

    The patrolman gave chase or took up the chase. The drunkard fled. You, moron.

    October 19, 2016 at 1:17 pm

    KARMA. This kid could be the biggest pussy I’ve ever met. Very tough (all 100 pounds of him) when he has other kids around him. Also a creep too, kid loves the youngins.

    • October 22, 2016 at 1:27 pm

      Details or it didn’t happen!

  • Turd Burglestein
    October 19, 2016 at 11:41 am

    Hey!!! He’s a democrat, so you guises leave him alone. Don’t you know the rulebook? Democrats get a free pass on everything. We can even dump our tour bus’s shit on the side of the road in any of your communities with absolutely no repercussions. However, do remember that if there is any evidence (made up or not) that a republican ever made any off color remarks or perhaps farted once, that is grounds for destroying their families and future. Now that we’ve got that cleared up, it’s time to get everyone who said anything bad about this intern fired from their jobs never to work again.

  • Factman1000
    October 19, 2016 at 10:49 am

    Just because this dip shit did some funny shit in math class doesn’t make him a good guy.

  • bigdaddy
    October 19, 2016 at 10:34 am

    Driving drunk too Was he also charged as impersonating a Kennedy ?

  • Devils Mouthpiece
    October 19, 2016 at 10:34 am

    Yeah, good kids run from the police all the time. Off to jail with this slug.

  • Luke
    October 19, 2016 at 10:27 am

    I hate ads

  • DNC recruiter
    October 19, 2016 at 10:14 am

    Don’t you know the political class is above all of you peons?!? Listen to your overlords and do as we say not as we do. We’re grooming him for bigger things, so piss off.

  • Spankster
    October 19, 2016 at 10:11 am

    BIGGEST MISTAKE!!! Leaving the Hoodsie in the car!!!
    SECOND BIGGEST MISTAKE!!! Not playing the “Do you know who I am card.

    I am never amazed at the bumkissers and hanger ones who jump to defend these assholes

  • Hey, Stupid!
    October 19, 2016 at 10:07 am

    It’s aspiring; not inspiring, moron!

    • October 19, 2016 at 5:10 pm

      Settle down, Ed.

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