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So we were watching Felger and Mazz today and we heard a Worcesterite named “Aiden, ” some regular boob who called up the show and gave it to them pretty good. Every once in a while we’ll put a caller like this on the blog if they’re firing out hot takes, which this caller clearly did. Mazz has been pooping on Johnny Manziel a lot lately because he believes he’s some sort of off the field problem. The caller clearly disagreed:
TurtleBoy Sports approves of these hot takes from the caller, although we must reiterate to the readers that this caller IS NOT affiliated with Turtleboy Sports, despite being from Worcester like us. He wishes. He did mention us, which is why we’re putting him on here. If you mention TurtleBoy Sports on TV, you will get plugged in the blog, so keep doing it people!!
There are lots of things you should worry about when drafting Johnny Manziel. He’s too small. He’s never seen NFL speed. He likes to spin around a lot in the backfield which will literally get him freaking annihilated on Sunday.
But under no circumstances should an NFL team rule him out because of “off the field issues.” His “issues” involve drinking beer and staying up ALL NIGHT. That’s what you do in college. You drink a lot of beer and stay up ALL NIGHT.
You get it all out of your system because when you graduate reality hits you like a freight train. You have to be serious all the time. You can’t blow off work. You have people that are actually counting on you. It’s the worst.
For the record Johnny Football is guilty of going to a bunch of parties with kids his own age and hooking up with smokeshows like you read about. He also sold a bunch of autographed memorabilia to some idiots who were willing to pay for it. That’s it.
My God, the humanity!!
You know who else likes to do this? Patrick Kane? When the Blackhawks wins it all you best keep your daughters out of the Central time zone because the NHL offseason is hunting season for Kaner. And unlike Manziel, he’s actually been arrested – for beating up a cab driver who wanted to keep his 35 cents in change for a tip.
But you wouldn’t want a guy like that on your team, right Tony? Not like he’s won two Stanley Cups or anything.
The caller also makes a good point about the Sixers commitment to tankapalooza. The Celtics are actually pretending like they’re trying to win basketball games. Why? You can literally go out of your way to lose by shaving points and face no repercussions from the NBA. Just watch the highlights of last nights Sixers-Bucks game. Tanking just got brought to the next level:
130-110?? In regulation?? The Milwaukee Bucks aren’t just bad, they’re historically bad. Felger’s right. They came into this season determined to have the worst record possible, with a commitment that has never been seen before. They were the perpetual 8th seed in the Eastern Conference, so they got rid of Brandon Jennings and Monta Ellis, because those guys win WAYYY too much.
Instead the Bucks made a commitment to perpetual losers like Giannis Antetokounmpo and Zaza Pachulia, and they’ve been exactly as bad as they planned on being. Going into last night they were 10-45, which put them a full five games behind Philadelphia for the worst record in the NBA.
Balls in their court now. They can lose whenever they want to, so they have the luxury of being able to try to win and putting on 130 points exhibitions against the other tanking teams (which is AT LEAST one third of the NBA at this point).
The Sixers likewise are committing to tanking, and they’re doing an A+ job, as last night was their 11th straight loss. At home. Against the worst team in the NBA. Did you watch that video? If not, go watch it. If yes, watch it again. They missed THREE FREAKING WIDE OPEN DUNKS!!!! NBA players!!! Even Tyler Bergantino can convert a wide open dunk at least 50% of the time.
Like, it’s so obvious the players have been instructed to try to lose. They’re obviously in on it too. Tony Wroten (the guy who missed two of the dunks) was a first round pick out of Washington in 2012. He’s one of the guys the Sixers plan to build around. I’m sure he wants elite talent to play with in the coming years. The only way that happens is if he does his part and helps the team commit to losing. Dude is obviously the ultimate team player and the type of guy every NBA franchise should build around.
Danny Ainge should take a memo from Sixers management too. They’re not even pretending either. In the past week and a half they’ve made the following trades:
1) Gave up Spencer Hawes for Earl Clark and draft picks.
2) Gave up Evan Turner for Danny Granger.
Turner and Hawes are good NBA players. Obviously that’s not good for tankapalooza. Earl Clark sucks and the draft picks can be used for the tankjob as well, so mission accomplished with that deal. But Danny Granger can still score. No problem, the Sixers bought out his contract today. Ya got that? They gave up a good young player that they drafted 2nd overall a couple years ago, and in return they got a former All-Star who they are paying NOT to play for them.
No wonder this obviously very drunk and out of shape man with court side seats fell asleep at the game last night:
That ladies and gentlemen, is how you tank. They’re not getting disciplined for purposely trying to lose in an obvious manner. Instead they’ll be rewarded with a better draft pick. It’s also further proof that the NBA is the biggest joke going. It’s why the people of Seattle are happier with an MLS team than they are with the Supersonics. It’s a shitty, shitty league and LeBron literally ruined it. Thanks LeBron.
Feel free to share your thoughts to keep the conversation going.