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Made Up Religion That Believes We Die And Go To Jupiter Given Their Own Day In Worcester So Petty And McGovern Can Get PC Points

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Saw this on Worcester Magazine’s Facebook page:

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No clue what Mandaean culture is, so I Googled it. Turns out it’s some sort of religion from the Middle East. Here’s what they believe in:

  1. A supreme formless Entity, the expression of which in time and space is creation of spiritual, etheric, and material worlds and beings. Production of these is delegated by It to a creator or creators who originated in It. The cosmos is created by Archetypal Man, who produces it in similitude to his own shape.
  2. Dualism: a cosmic Father and Mother, Light and Darkness, Right and Left, syzygy in cosmic and microcosmic form.
  3. As a feature of this dualism, counter-types, a world of ideas.
  4. The soul is portrayed as an exile, a captive; its home and origin are the supreme Entity, to which the soul eventually returns.
  5. Planets and stars influence fate and human beings, and are also places of detention after death.
  6. A saviour spirit or saviour spirits which assist the soul on the journey through life and after it to ‘worlds of light.’
  7. A cult-language of symbol and metaphor. Ideas and qualities are personified.
  8. ‘Mysteries’, i.e. sacraments to aid and purify the soul, to ensure rebirth into a spiritual body, and ascent from the world of matter. These are often adaptations of existing seasonal and traditional rites to which an esoteric interpretation is attached. In the case of the Naṣoreans this interpretation is based upon the Creation story (see 1 and 2), especially on the Divine Man, Adam, as crowned and anointed King-priest.
  9. Great secrecy is enjoined upon initiates; full explanation of 1, 2, and 8 being reserved for those considered able to understand and preserve the gnosis.

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So basically it’s a wacky, made up religion that believes that planets decide our fate and we go to Jupiter after we die. At least the boys go to Jupiter, presumably to get more stupider. They also believe the Jesus, Moses, and Abraham were all false prophets. Naturally then the Mayor of the second largest city in New England and a United States Congressman are honoring them:

Mayor Joe Petty declared April 30 as the Mandaean Cultural day in the city of Worcester.”

McGovern thanked Clark University for its work with the Mandaeans, saying it was fitting the project took place at a “school that celebrates diversity.”

Seriously, is there anything these idiots won’t do to prove to the world how much they embrace diversity? Guess how many Mandaeans there are worldwide? 60,000. That’s the size of Haverhill. They get their own day now so Joe Petty and Jim McGovern can pat themselves on the back and brag about how progressive they are.

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This is how it went down when McGovern called up Petty:

JM: Hey Joe, we’re going down to Clark to celebrate this religion called Mandaeans. 

JP: What the hell is that?

JM: Doesn’t matter. It’s a small ethnic minority and they’re not white. Great opportunity for a photo op. Plus we get to say “embrace diversity” a bunch of times. The morons who vote for us love that shit. 

JP: Have we alerted Walter Bird yet? Pics or it didn’t happen. 

JM: Obviously. 

JP: OK, I’ll do it. Come pick me up. And did you ever ask any of your friends in Washington if they have a job for me so I can stop doing stuff like this?

JM: I told you Joe, I’ll look into it. Be there in 10 minutes. 

This is what our city leaders are using their time for. Last year while teachers and principals were being assaulted at North High School Joe Petty didn’t do a thing. He’s done nothing to address the glaring problems we have with our DPW commissioner Paul Moosey. We’ve got needles left all over the place by junkies. The list goes on and on. And this is what they’re doing – attending meaningless crap like this and giving a small, insignificant culture their own special day because he lives to kiss Jim McGovern’s ass.




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27 Comment(s)
  • Gnostic
    July 1, 2016 at 11:37 pm

    Let me be the first Mandaean to educate you then.
    First off, most of the Western-propagated “academic research” about our group is mostly nonsense. Sure, we have elements of astrology and mysticism and dualism but these are ancient gnostic concepts beyond your reading level so just leave that subject area be.

    I can assure you not only are we not made up, but let’s me use some big words to describe us:

    The first baptists of biblical tradition.
    The last surviving Gnostics from the Judeo-Christian era.
    We are originally from the Sinai/Jerusalem/Jordan Valley area along with the ancient Aramaean Jews.
    We are an ethno-religion meaning we are both a people and a faith like the Jews and share our genetic ancestry with the most ancient Aramaean groups but of a distinct branch. Nothing has been proven to support or deny ANY claims, the jury is out but that is only few genetic tests and old lead scrolls in an ancient library away from proving our history.
    Totally pacifist and heavily intellectual, meaning we use our brains to do great things and keep the peace in an otherwise insane hellhole that we made the best out of, because fuck, it was called The Promised Land/ Eden Eden at some point before people started wars over religion and oil.

    Lastly, The Mayor isn’t trying to get PC points with anyone in some grand fashion. The mayor, unlike you, has respect. He means what he says because we actually represent a good influence that people should take note of. You know, good people who are proud to become hard-working and proud Americans.

    Yes, I know satire when I see it you clown so don’t run away under that. No, I’m not pissed because I’ve seen this before in years past. The reason I care is so that the relatively little and bogus information available about us MANDAEANS online is all people can discover about us. Anywhere I see a clown like you talk about what has to be the most successful social experiment in Abrahamic history, an ethnoreligion that somehow managed to become immensely influential for our paltry numbers WITHOUT AN ARMY, WITHOUT BORDERS OR LAND AND WITHOUT BLOOD MONEY for MORE THAN FOUR THOUSAND YEARS AMONG WARRING ARAB TRIBES MEANS WE DID SOMETHING RIGHT. As in, you can only hope to have such positive humans in your society.

    Carry on, shitgibbons.

  • Flyingsword
    May 3, 2016 at 7:42 pm

    Just ask Norman Greenbaum! He will tell you, heck he even wrote a song about it….

  • Danus
    May 3, 2016 at 6:43 am

    Seems to have really enraged you, TB. Do you think Yazidis Faith is made up because they don’t have numbers too?

  • Pure Truth
    May 2, 2016 at 3:58 pm

    Persecuted religious minority flees oppression in Middle East, comes to America to seek opportunity and freedom to practice their religion as they see fit. Runs into ignorance and bigotry by leading local ‘inclusive feminist family friendly blog’.

    Considering no one on here had even heard of them before a ‘Google search’ – yet everyone feels free to shit all over an entire community in Worcester that has come here to pursue the very ideals America was founded on.

    Cool story bro.

    • Jw
      May 2, 2016 at 5:01 pm

      Yeah the pilgrims were shitty, dumb, and violent too. We don’t have to like them, we just can’t stop them from worshipping Uranus.

      • hardyhar
        May 2, 2016 at 10:12 pm

        I am pretty sure they worship your mother’s anus.

    • Finnish Goalie
      May 2, 2016 at 5:41 pm

      Plenty of people of heard of Mandeans, even if said blog writer hasn’t.

      TB. You should do a piece on why the members of this ancient faith have decided on Worcester to move to. There must be some reason they’ve chosen our city, no?

      • hardyhar
        May 2, 2016 at 10:16 pm

        “There must be some reason they’ve chosen our city, no?”

        Who cares?

        Oh, maybe it is for the needle and junkie infested city hall building and panhandlers every block.

        Or…maybe they love bobsledding on snow covered hills, also known as major city streets , in the winter time.

        Why does Petty have to have a photo op and party with early non-majority population group in the city>

        Next week – Worcester declares 5/10 to be Transgender Animist Dwarf Wrestler Day.

      • Wwy
        May 3, 2016 at 1:10 am

        Yes TB then ask the Jews(anti-christs)why they live in the same Jew-ghetto off pleasant st.,then ask the Catholics wtf are they doing here the pope is a former fascist hiding in Argentina,then ask all the cults,Finnish goalie is full of stupidity. The two ignorant people at the top are atheist which is a religion that leads to abortion,gay marriage,mental illnesses like cross dressing,and they defend the Jew Anthony wiener for sending dick pics.

        • Finnish Goaile
          May 3, 2016 at 6:06 am

          I’m always curious which articles will bring you back from your on-going search for the proper definition of anti-semitism.

          Still waiting, friend.

        • Trump's boy penis
          May 3, 2016 at 9:09 am

          I’m not atheist my friend. Science is my religion.

        • Trump's boy penis
          May 3, 2016 at 9:31 am

          I’m sorry I don’t believe a book verbatim that was written almost 2,000 years ago about some dude, that was written by a guy who never met the dude and written almost 100 years after said dude had already died. My favorite part tho has to be the angel who came to the writer in a dream and told him the story about the dude who died a 100 years ago. Also don’t want to forget to mention that not even ONE major historian from region during the same time period even bothered to mention this dude who supposedly did some pretty amazing shit.

  • Whaaattt
    May 2, 2016 at 2:51 pm

    I recently visited Worcester for the first time in two years (I moved out of Massachusetts several years ago and had moved from Worcester to the ‘burbs several years prior to that).

    I was shocked at how far downhill the city had gone downhill.

    -At least one, typically TWO, panhandlers at most off ramps and major intersections.
    -Trash, including BAGS of it, along the edge of the 290 exit ramps.
    -Many buildings that were not maintained, or abandoned completely.

    I can not see ANY reason people would want to live there. Actually, I should say, I don’t see any reason any working, tax paying, non-substance using family (or single person) would want to live there. I honestly don’t see how the “elite” of the “desirable” areas are even sticking around – don’t they drive through and around the city at all? You can’t stay isolated on Salisbury St. ALL day long.

    The local government is purposely running the city into the ground to keep certain groups feeding at the public trough and dependent on them. Why else would Petty be wasting time with crap like this?

    BTW – I used to live and work in Worcester, in downtown, no less. I felt safe then walking all over downtown (OK, maybe not Main South, but…). I’d go to events at the Centrum…at night…sometimes by myself, and didn’t worry. Now? Just driving around during the day I thanked God for getting my family and myself out of there.

    Again, I can’t understand why anyone not getting a government check is sticking around…or maybe they’ve all left too?

    • Trump's boy penis
      May 2, 2016 at 3:13 pm

      Cool Story bro

  • Joe Max
    May 2, 2016 at 2:40 pm

    In the same ballpark as Scientology. But Hubbard’s thing, would never receive anything remotely like this. Since it’s not on the PC acceptance list.

    • Finnish Goalie
      May 2, 2016 at 5:43 pm

      The religion is 2,000 years old, Joe.

  • Tedr
    May 2, 2016 at 1:22 pm

    From the Worcester Mag article… “Worcester is now home to the largest community of Mandaeans outside of Iraq, with approximately 2,500 people.”

    Whether the religion is quirky or not, I think that’s pretty cool.

    • Finnish Goalie
      May 2, 2016 at 1:39 pm

      No question at all, that’s impressive.

      It’s a religion that dates back to the age when Christianity emerged. It has street credit.

  • FiestyLawyerLady
    May 2, 2016 at 12:57 pm

    When I die I want to be cremated and put in an urn shaped like a beer bottle but use a mechanism on the outside that whenever someone mentions my name the bottle hovers in the middle of the air… Sit me on the mantle so I can spook the shit out of people who talk about me when I’m clearly dead.

  • Good Advice
    May 2, 2016 at 12:08 pm

    Concerned and penis (appropriate names) apparently think they are going to live forever. You might want to plan otherwise.

    • Trump's boy penis
      May 2, 2016 at 12:49 pm

      LOL. All religions are made up=Living forever.

      When I die, the matter in my body is going to be broken down through numerous processes, all of them releasing the potential energy within, to be consumed by other beings, and/or added to the enthalpy of the system of Earth.

      Nothing more. Nothing less.

      • Concerned for Humanity
        May 2, 2016 at 1:24 pm

        Completely agree. It was sarcasm.

      • Better Advice
        May 4, 2016 at 7:42 am

        You must believe that you’re never going to be held accountable for not believing. You WILL be. The good news is, it’s not too late. Eternity is a very, very long time.

  • Concerned for Humanity
    May 2, 2016 at 11:45 am

    So dying and going up in the sky somewhere isn’t like any other religion? At least these people have a destination.

  • Jay
    May 2, 2016 at 11:19 am

    Diversity is great. Just look how good diversity made Rome and the middle east, and Africa. What? Diversity killed Rome, and every group in the middle east and Africa are killing each other? Huh.

  • Trump's boy penis
    May 2, 2016 at 11:02 am

    LOL. All religions are made up

    • Wabbitt
      May 2, 2016 at 12:47 pm

      My thought exactly. They’re ALL stupid and made up.

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