Hoodrat Heroes

Manchester SkankPuppet Deluxe Wants You To Pay For Her Kid’s Christmas, Because She Has Been Too Busy Hawking All Their Stuff Online While Not Holding A Job To Sign Up For Toys For Tots

Manchester SkankPuppet Deluxe Wants You To Pay For Her Kid’s Christmas, Because She Has Been Too Busy Hawking All Their Stuff Online While Not Holding A Job To Sign Up For Toys For Tots

Follow and Subscribe to Turtleboy podcasts on SoundCloud or iTunes by clicking here

Follow and like the Turtleboy Sports Returns, and Clarence Woods Emerson to keep up with the hilarious turtle rider commentary.

Want to advertise with Turtleboy? Email us at Turtleboysports@gmail.com for more information.

If you like free speech and want to support what we’re doing, feel free to donate to the Turtle fund:







Hello Turtle Riders. As you know if you follow Turtleboy we are constantly getting censored and banned by Facebook for what are clearly not violations of their terms of service. Twitter has done the same, and trolls mass reported our blog to Google AdSense thousands of times, leading to demonitization. We can get by and survive, but we could really use your help. Please consider donating by hitting the PayPal button above if you’d like support free speech and what we do in the face of Silicon Valley censorship. Or just buy our award winning book about the dangers of censorship and rise of Turtleboy: 



With only two weeks left until Christmas, the pity my crotchfruit-for-cash market is still booming online. Check out this crotchrotting skankpuppet from Manchester, NH, who needs the community’s help providing Christmas for the two kids she popped out and them promptly neglected to care for:



Don’t you just hate when you are so busy not working a job that you don’t have the time to fill out a form or make a phone call to get some free shit to provide your kids with Christmas? Begging for money online is just so much easier, considering you don’t have to change out of your pajama pants or leave your filth den. And just look at this poor young mother, doesn’t she look just positively infirm?


There’s no way she could ever push carriages at the local Wal-Mart, or man the cash register at a gas station to support her children. She’d just collapse, I’m sure of it. She can’t even find the strength to take care of her children’s basic needs, like, oh I don’t know, bare minimum dental hygiene.

Mommy and me matching methmouth, isn’t that nice. That’s truly reprehensible to me – that poor young child has had more teeth pulled in her short little life than I have at 31, by a lot. But I guess it’s on par for Manchester.

Maybe she would have had more time to put her name on the list with the Salvation Army or Toys for Tots if she wasn’t so busy hawking all of his kids possessions on Facebook for some fast cash that she definitely is not putting towards gifts under the tree, or toothbrushes and Colgate.


Including some brand new clothing that, presumably, her two year old daughter would grow in to rather quickly.

But when you’re begging for cash from strangers online, what are the odds that it’s ever really for the kids, anyway? That’s why the sign up dates for charities like Toys for Tots get “missed”, after all. They just give away stupid toys and clothing, not cold hard cash, and this neglectosaurus mess already has plenty of that. She’s even inexplicably selling some boy’s clothing despite having 2 daughters, so Lord knows what kind of Guttermuppet resale game we’re really dealing with here.

And it’s not like she hasn’t know way ahead of time that Christmas was going to be an issue, because she’s been trying to trap a gainfully employed “roommate” into her filth den for months.

….And I do mean filth den.

Wisely, somewhere along the line here, while not being able to care for herself or her two fuck trophies, Crystal wisely decided to add yet another defenseless creature into the mix, too.


Five bedrooms. That’s bigger than my place, and I work full time, my husband works full time, and I blog on the side. This skag pops out a couple of kids and can’t even muster the motivation to sign up for some charity gifts for her spawn. She does have plenty of time for some high fashion section 8 glamor shots though!


Work that disability, girl!


In an added twist of enraging irony, she did have time to show up to Toys for Tots at one point…..to sell some more of her kids shit!


I highly doubt that money was for your kids Christmas, Hobeast. Your poor kid isn’t even going to get her two front teeth.

Christmas is a stressful time of year for most people, especially if you have kids. I get it. But let’s get one thing explicitly clear – Christmas is not an entitlement. I know I’m a cunt for saying it out loud, because in theory every child deserves the magic of waking up Christmas morning and seeing gifts under the tree – but as a parent, you owe it to them. The rest of the world does not. If you can’t be bothered to get out of bed and earn a paycheck to provide it for them the other 364 days of the year, there are plenty of charities set up to do it for you. If you can’t even be bothered to get your shit together enough to make that happen, I honestly don’t know what to tell you. My mind is just blown by this apathetic slopbucket. She is by all appearances just one big gigantic fail. What do you think the over/under is on mommy having the “disease”?

23 Comment(s)
  • Misty
    December 13, 2018 at 6:27 pm

     I am the one in that picture in it really needs to be removed because I have no part of this or any contact with her so why are you affiliating me with this ? My Facebook is Misty Rodriguez I have none to do with this look me up, I’m so sick of this shit

    • Misty
      December 13, 2018 at 6:32 pm

      I just zoomed in the pic and there’s no boger and those are her nails because I recognize her rings but whatever

    • Bill
      December 17, 2018 at 9:20 am

      Misty zoom in on this!

      • Misty
        December 19, 2018 at 9:49 am

        Zoom on what you?

  • Bill
    December 12, 2018 at 10:55 am

    Oh ya, I like the mom’s CLEAN fingernails in picture #1. Looks like some ass-digging was done just prior to the picture being taken, YEK!!!

  • Let me up, I've had enough
    December 11, 2018 at 12:59 pm

    I’d be willing to contribute to the Xmas fund if there was a promise of a possibly a mother / daughter tag team from the ladies in picture #1??????

    • Bill
      December 12, 2018 at 10:51 am

      There could also be the possibility of contracting diseases they haven’t got names for yet…

  • In through the exit
    December 11, 2018 at 7:23 am

    The older babe in the top photo… Yes yes yes! Any idea who she is?

    • Nice pic
      December 11, 2018 at 9:08 am

      Look at her closely. There is a snot hanging in her nose.

    • Stunt Penis
      December 11, 2018 at 12:06 pm

      you mean her mother (age 28) ?

      (remember, they start procreating at 13 or 14)

  • Billy Joel
    December 10, 2018 at 8:08 pm

    She said, Sonny, move out to the country
    Workin’ too hard can give you
    A heart attack ack ack ack ack

    • Burt Lancaster
      December 11, 2018 at 5:16 am

      Billy Joel is gay the modern Liberace. Piano Man, think about it.

  • DJ
    December 10, 2018 at 8:01 pm

    I absolutely despise this bitch asking us working people to buy her kids presents..fuck you..I have zero sympathy! I am sure she is on welfare and gets everything for free but can’t buy her damn kids presents. Bitch please, my mother was a single mom to myself and four sisters and never asked for any handouts. She had a JOB and provided for us. Yeah, we didn’t get everything we wanted, but what we got we appreciated. Now, myself and my four sisters are all take care if our own kids because that’s what you do as parents. Get a job you fucking lazy spank and do not beg us to fund your crotch fruit. Fuck outta here with that.

  • Might be moving to manchester!
    December 10, 2018 at 6:53 pm

    Did everyone miss that in her apartment for rent ad, she’s asking for $600 a month for 5 bedrooms with all utilities and food included? And also, she’s asking for a $600 loan to counteract the ridiculously low rent! Hey if i can throw it in her once a week and she’s gonna provide food then i say thats a great deal

  • Five finger discount
    December 10, 2018 at 6:30 pm

    This girl is a thief!

    • couple of beers and ok
      December 10, 2018 at 8:20 pm

      because she stole my heart…. wah wah wah…

      Bet she has oral skills to make any man think he’s in love for a few hours.

  • Enough
    December 10, 2018 at 6:15 pm

    This chic is night and day, one picture UGLY another picture hot, she’s all over the place.

    She should be doing the 5 darky blow-bang to buy cheap plastic crap from china for Christmas. Give the kids finely machined American guns and camping equipment and take them outside away from the electronics.

  • Ho ho hoooooo
    December 10, 2018 at 5:32 pm

    Most of those items are most definitely stolen.Maybe she doesn’t do drugs… But she does everything else! Id play Santa if she would play Elf and unload my sack!

  • vic
    December 10, 2018 at 5:11 pm

    I would cover her face in frosted cream any time she wants it. Mmmmm

  • Amy Marks
    December 10, 2018 at 4:39 pm

    So, her kids are probably on the Massive Health and she still can’t get their teeth cleaned twice a year? Maybe the relationship between toothbrush/dental floss and her kids’ mouths is a little too casual, me thinks.

    The two year old doesn’t even know it’s Christmas! And you know seven years ago that you’d be a mom. You should’ve gotten your shit together then!

    Also, why don’t ratchets believe in buying short and long term disability insurance for when they have a health problem, like the heart attack she claims to have had?

    And reproducing with scummy men isn’t a financially wise idea, just sayin.’

    The allergies to college and trade school are down right anaphylactic in this one.

    Section 8 glamour shots is a hilarious phrase, by the way.

    • self abuse
      December 10, 2018 at 6:17 pm

      Too much crack leads to a heart attack!

  • Woof
    December 10, 2018 at 4:25 pm

    Sorry but those items with tags scream shoplifted shit… Burlington Coat Factory/TJ Maxx allllll day long.

  • Stunt Penis
    December 10, 2018 at 4:15 pm

    A quick phone call to Lauren DeWynter, she can double up in some high-paying porn flicks and earn the money she needs to pay for her kids christmas

Comment on this Post


All-Star Worcester Parents Lay Siege To School Bus, Beat Up Bus Driver, Then Write Magnificent Things On Facebook
Comments From The Worcester Parent Bus Riot Blog Were Borderline Orgasmic
Hot Girl Threatening To Sue Turtleboy Sports Over Busgate, City Council Still Hasn’t Even Mentioned It