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Mariah Carey’s New Years Flub Is Proof That She Should Be Put Out To Pasture

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Mariah Carey should probably remember that she’s not all that and a bag of chips these days. Sorry, I felt like channeling a phrase from back when she was relevant. Her performance in Times Square last night was painfully hysterical and it was her own damn fault.

The big media outlets are leaving out the video clip in their reports of the flub. But we dug it up for your amusement.

In case you missed it, she started off by terribly lip-synching Auld Lang Syne. She wasn’t even trying to make it convincible. As if it’s hard to move your lips to a prerecorded track that you, yourself, made.

She moved on to her hit “Emotion”and it seems someone forgot the vocal tracks. Mariah, who was dressed in what seems like a rhinestoned sausage casing, moseyed around on stage making sassy remarks and not even trying to play along. 
She went on to tell the audience that they could sing it. Fidgeting with her ear piece as if to make it seem like that was the problem. Launching herself across her male dancers like Hedonism bot from Futurama. 

If the dancers had microphones you could probably have heard them groan.
At one point, she just stops in the center of the stage, and gives the sound guy a minute-long hate stare as if to say “I’m going to find you, slice open your carotid artery, and bath in your blood to make myself look younger after this whole thing ends.”

As if that wasn’t bad enough, she goes on to attempt a third song. She jiggled up a set of stairs to sing “We Belong Together,” and pulls the microphone away while the song kept playing, solidifying the fact that she had been lip-syncing the whole time.

It was a disastrous diva tantrum. A more humble performer would have done their best to keep the crowd, who had probably been waiting in the cold for two days, entertained.

Not Mariah. It’s just her world and we live in it. She apparently was three hours late because of some meeting with a divorce lawyer. I wish I could just bang in to work three hours late because I’m negotiating millions.

She walked off the stage, as her man-dancers were fluffing feathers at her, and muttering “It just don’t get any better.”
Yeah, it was pretty much the only way that 2016 should have ended. I don’t expect people to be perfect all the time. I do expect someone to at least acknowledge their fans and try. Mariah couldn’t be bothered. 

But this isn’t the first time Mariah botched a performance:

Mariah blows another NYC performance.

Maybe it’s time for people to stop hiring her for things. It’s obvious she doesn’t give two shits about being professional and doesn’t care about the few fans she has left.
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45 Comment(s)
  • pork
    January 2, 2017 at 11:48 pm

    : the amount of hate between women is sad.
    one woman, or ‘South Shore Turtlegirl”, headlining that another woman should be put out to pasture is one of the reasons women can’t break even.
    let’s have a look at the author of this ‘article’.
    if you take a look at her other great contributions to this website, you’ll recognize her for the self-loathing troglodyte that she sure seems to relish in being.

  • Tommy Mottola
    January 2, 2017 at 1:03 pm

    I made her career, kind of bum’s me out to see how she turned into this.

  • Lucy
    January 2, 2017 at 11:21 am

    She should have turned that gig down. All she did was embarrass herself. Looked like an over the hill tranny that took too much Zoloft after the divorce proceedings

  • Wabbitt
    January 2, 2017 at 9:43 am

    I’d still smash in a second. More cushion for the pushin’ as it were.

    • January 2, 2017 at 10:00 am

      You’d have to take a ginsu to that leotard first.

    • FiestyLawyerLady
      January 2, 2017 at 10:48 am

      Atta boy!

  • BobnMic
    January 2, 2017 at 7:49 am

    Hey SSTG! Did you get my email? Did you circle Yes 🙂 or No 🙁 next to the end where I asked if you wanted to be my girlfriend?

    P.P.P.P.S. Happy New Year!

    • Kevin Lynch
      January 2, 2017 at 8:13 am

      I’m interested in that position Bob. I’d like to be manhandled by such a smart guy as yourself. Emily and Dave can join in too.

      • January 2, 2017 at 8:14 am

        Hahaha. You guys are such buttholes.

        • BobnMic
          January 2, 2017 at 10:38 pm

          ^^^ Not me South STG. I think you can tell the difference by now. I know this aint no dating site and I for one do not pretend that it is…

          • January 2, 2017 at 10:45 pm

            I know it’s not you Bob. I can see the IP. I’ve got you’re like memorized because of how active you are on here.

          • BobnMic
            January 3, 2017 at 1:34 am

            ^^^ TY South STG. I bet I could guess who’s IP that is. Not hard to figure out. But then again who really gives a flying fuck. Rock on with your bad self…

          • BobnMic
            January 3, 2017 at 1:58 am

            South STG – my IP address is Well ok you just caught me in a lie as many say that is all that I am about. Hehehe.

            But still rock on despite me. My real IP address – 1234567891011121314151617181920. It is that long because I am that important…

          • BobnMic
            January 3, 2017 at 3:26 am

            Shit though seriously you know my IP address so I best behave. Is that possible?

          • January 3, 2017 at 9:45 am

            It helps the hosting site ban spam (because it’s a huge issue on comment forums with bots and stuff) Don’t worry. It’s safe.

  • I like boobies
    January 2, 2017 at 5:13 am

    She could have saved it all with a nip slip.

  • Kevin Lynchs Penis
    January 1, 2017 at 11:42 pm

    Help! Please stop jamming me into the mouths of underage boys! I’m begging you. You ply them with booze and weed to loosen them up for ME! Please just cut me off? Or at least find me a willing partner? Momma Lynch Why didn’t you just swallow the load that would become the Kevin monster? WHY??

  • Justice
    January 1, 2017 at 10:49 pm

    BTW….anyone else think Fergie was wasted? LOL

  • Justice
    January 1, 2017 at 10:42 pm

    Ya know what, TBS and everyone? It is HARD being a millionaire. She doesn’t have TIME to make it to lip sync rehearsals, let along actually SING the songs. Life is tough when you don’t have get up and go to some 9-5 job…giving you a routine to follow day in and day out. It’s HARD I tell you. Plus cramming your big bootylicious ass into that body condom of an outfit, and showing off your ass canyon and 46 year old camel toe. It’s HARD! Do you HEAR ME? Let’s give Mimi a break, shall we? We don’t have to go through what she goes through everyday. Plus the stress of her most recent engagement break up…it’s HARD! So hard that she is suing her ex fiance for a $500 million dollars (alimony???) settlement because he broke it off. She NEEDS it.

    All kidding aside…kudos to her for owning up to it and tweeting about it. LOL But I pity the guy whose fault it was that her tracks were off. Even if it WAS HER who couldn’t keep up to the third song….SOMEONE is going to pay for it with his/her job. Good thing Christmas is over.

  • Mr Butthurt
    January 1, 2017 at 10:30 pm

    Mr Butthurt would not fuck her with Kevin Lynchs small penis.

  • Lola Bunny
    January 1, 2017 at 9:40 pm

    Even in “her prime” she wasn’t very impressive and her prime sure didn’t last very long. She seems bat shit crazy now too, saw a commercial for her “reality show” and was disgusted.

  • Dr. Splat
    January 1, 2017 at 9:04 pm

    Gee, I wonder if part of Kevin’s problem is too much protein in his brain? Certainly could affect judgement and demeanor. After all the man juice he’s taken up the mud whistle, that protein carries over from the lining of the colon and lodges into the nether regions of the cerebral cortex. Medical term is “anal spoogatitis”. Good article on it a couple years ago in the N England Journal of Medicine.

    • Jack Mehoff
      January 1, 2017 at 9:47 pm

      Now THAT is funny!

  • Momma lynch
    January 1, 2017 at 8:35 pm

    Kevin dear? I only have so many years left on this planet.. For the love of all 9 irons, PLEASE pull yourself together and leave my house like a normal adult? PLEASE? How selfish are you to make your mommy take care of you into your late 40’s?? I’m so tired…

  • Reddog
    January 1, 2017 at 8:30 pm

    SSTG. I’m planning a vacation in Brocton. Would you recommend the Rodeway inn for my stay?
    Thanks in advance.

    • January 1, 2017 at 9:04 pm

      I’d recommend going over to Rockland to stay at the Holiday Inn down near the highway. All of the hotels in Brockton are filled with junkies.

  • The Phantom Crapper
    January 1, 2017 at 8:20 pm

    This performance is as bad as when Kevin Lynch led a group of junkies thru the woods looking for the Oliver boy. Destroying evidence and shooting up along the the way. What a embarassment to his mother.

    Leave home you’re in your late 40’s loser.

  • kevins REAL lawyer
    January 1, 2017 at 8:17 pm

    I’m still awaiting ANY paperwork at all that we can work with for your 205,433 civil suits that you’ve threatened half the population of MA with. So far all you are is a blowhard waste of my time. Please stop contacting the office!

  • Emilys innocence
    January 1, 2017 at 8:13 pm

    Uncle Kevin? Why did you take me? I trusted you as my close family member and you broke that trust.. I’ll never be the same.

  • Mistressveila
    January 1, 2017 at 8:12 pm

    She was probably paid a pretty penny to be there too…
    Oh well shit happens,… I sucked and got paid for it anyway…
    I wish we could all get away with that on our jobs..
    Why did they want a has been performing anyway?
    The list they must have put together for possible has been past their prime,singers for nye, included her, madonna, courtney love, rhianna,Christina Aguilera ,Gwen steffani..any of those judges on those so,called talent shows..
    And this is why I have never listened to any of these so called talented people..fodder for people who wouldn’t know talent if it bit them in the ass….

  • whatevuh
    January 1, 2017 at 8:01 pm

    This is the reason I went to Bennies for dinner and bed early, fuck these asshole celebrities, can’t waste my time on that bullshit. Nice tits, but lipstick on a pig and it’s still a pig

    January 1, 2017 at 6:17 pm

    Turtleboy is now moderating the blog. Lmao.
    Why don’t you just write all the comments for people.lmao

    • January 1, 2017 at 6:22 pm

      I’ve moderated my blog posts since I started. How is begging for help on Facebook pages to get us kicked off by the LGTBQ community going?

    January 1, 2017 at 6:10 pm

    Mike Guyette has a go fund now for 33 months and counting. But Turtlebitch will not write a story about him and his give me scam.

    Two sets of rules and exceptions like the $500 handicap tickets.

    • Toby
      January 1, 2017 at 6:34 pm

      What in the holy fuck are you doing? Are you searching everyone’s name who comments to find out some kind of info on them? You speak of everyone stalking you at this rate you are stalking 40K +- people. That is way creepy fucknut. Go back to investigating the FPD and FFD corruption.

  • The Poop Hole Loop Hole
    January 1, 2017 at 6:08 pm

    Yes – I’d still hit it.

  • Marshmallow Cat
    January 1, 2017 at 5:57 pm

    Whatever I would still rip that up…

  • traci
    January 1, 2017 at 5:55 pm

    I never cared for miss carry, she is a two faced fake. I can’ sing for shit and I by far am not beautiful, but I don’t have to move my long hair a million times to show off my cleavage and boobs. To me that’s what she is all about BOOBS and those will drop to her toes soon then what? I feel sorry for her fans.

  • Emily David
    January 1, 2017 at 5:43 pm

    That sucked more than Kevin behind the Fitchburg 7-11.

  • Fatfingr Lou
    January 1, 2017 at 5:29 pm

    I had half an eye on the TV the other night as Mrs. Fatfigure watched Off The Wall.

    Michael Jackson not only had talent, he worked for a living. He would have sung, danced and worked his way through technical difficulties in concert. No one would have gone home disappointed.

    He was amazing, and it was an event wherever he went.

  • JoeMomma
    January 1, 2017 at 5:22 pm

    It would need to be a very big pasture……..

    • White Pride White Power
      January 1, 2017 at 8:44 pm

      LOL yup. Fast ass shit dumpster slut!

      • BobnMic
        January 2, 2017 at 1:26 am

        Miriah is still my desire despite her thunder thighs…

        • BobnMic go away
          January 2, 2017 at 5:06 am

          Speed kills! GO AWAAY!

          • BobnMic
            January 3, 2017 at 1:29 am

            And you’re a fucking riot.

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