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Mariah Carey should probably remember that she’s not all that and a bag of chips these days. Sorry, I felt like channeling a phrase from back when she was relevant. Her performance in Times Square last night was painfully hysterical and it was her own damn fault.
In case you missed it, she started off by terribly lip-synching Auld Lang Syne. She wasn’t even trying to make it convincible. As if it’s hard to move your lips to a prerecorded track that you, yourself, made.
She moved on to her hit “Emotion”and it seems someone forgot the vocal tracks. Mariah, who was dressed in what seems like a rhinestoned sausage casing, moseyed around on stage making sassy remarks and not even trying to play along.
She went on to tell the audience that they could sing it. Fidgeting with her ear piece as if to make it seem like that was the problem. Launching herself across her male dancers like Hedonism bot from Futurama.
If the dancers had microphones you could probably have heard them groan.
At one point, she just stops in the center of the stage, and gives the sound guy a minute-long hate stare as if to say “I’m going to find you, slice open your carotid artery, and bath in your blood to make myself look younger after this whole thing ends.”
As if that wasn’t bad enough, she goes on to attempt a third song. She jiggled up a set of stairs to sing “We Belong Together,” and pulls the microphone away while the song kept playing, solidifying the fact that she had been lip-syncing the whole time.
It was a disastrous diva tantrum. A more humble performer would have done their best to keep the crowd, who had probably been waiting in the cold for two days, entertained.
Not Mariah. It’s just her world and we live in it. She apparently was three hours late because of some meeting with a divorce lawyer. I wish I could just bang in to work three hours late because I’m negotiating millions.
She walked off the stage, as her man-dancers were fluffing feathers at her, and muttering “It just don’t get any better.”
Yeah, it was pretty much the only way that 2016 should have ended. I don’t expect people to be perfect all the time. I do expect someone to at least acknowledge their fans and try. Mariah couldn’t be bothered.
But this isn’t the first time Mariah botched a performance:
Maybe it’s time for people to stop hiring her for things. It’s obvious she doesn’t give two shits about being professional and doesn’t care about the few fans she has left.
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