Hoodrat Heroes

Masshealth Martinez Stops Traffic To Bash Free Lunch Freddie Over The Head With Bottle To Save Cocaine Carlos As They Establish Who Is The King Of The Merrimack River

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Tom Duggan came through with the greatest hoodrat brawl video we’ve ever seen, featuring some GI Hoe in a denim skirt hitting a couple of Lawrence’s finest over the head with a closed liquor bottle:

That. Was. Awesome.

It sounded like the College World Series. Ping, ping, ping, ping!!

The best part is how she left the top on the bottle for maximum damage. She takes that thing off and the bottle breaks, and she knows it. Then it’s no good. You think this is the first time this trap queen had to stop traffic to smack a couple spunk gobblers over the head with a bottle? Nope. Just another Tuesday commute home from the DTA office.

The video starts with this Masshealth Martinez straight clocking Free Lunch Freddie over the head because he’s beating the shit out of her latest sperm donor….

Down goes Frazier!!

It was actually pretty effective, because her porridge pumper was in a 2 on 1 situation, and the bottle kept one of them at bay so he could establish himself as king of the Mingya Valley.

She respected the fight though, and really only acted like a ref in case things got out of control.

In Lawrence this is what they call a keeper!

After a while it became clear that her chudstuffer had won the fight, and being the loyal sperm sponge that she is she attempted to pull him away by the belt of course…

The best part of the video was when a Dad out for a stroll with his son walks right by and neither seems the last bit fazed to see an all out ratchet brawl holding up rush hour traffic over the Merrimack River.

Pretty standard Tuesday.

Turns out the woman was actually the driver, and she attempted to force Cocaine Carlos back into the car so she could get home in time for Judge Judy.

The most amazing part is how no one honked at them. Because this is pretty much part of your daily rush hour commute in Lawrence. At least no one got shot this time. Progress!

And of course on the way out Cocaine Carlos jumped out of the sunroof to make sure he had the only thing that really mattered – the last word.

God bless you Tom Duggan. I don’t know how you have a nose for finding this sort of debauchery, but I hope it never ends.

17 Comment(s)
  • Rick Shaw
    May 17, 2018 at 3:22 pm

    This is a Lawrence style pinata.

    • Geraldo Bottom Rivera
      May 17, 2018 at 8:39 pm

      audio nigga nigga… come on nigga!

      That is proud Puerto Rican Mud People to you sir!!! Not nigga!

  • This is their contribution
    May 17, 2018 at 10:27 am

    There are certain things that I always make time for. Life is too short not to smell the roses or watch savages sort out their differences. Liveleak is more satisfying because it’s usually perfectly clear that there won’t be a rematch.

  • Mike Hunt
    May 17, 2018 at 10:21 am

    This is why I buy my New Balance online

    • Rich
      May 17, 2018 at 10:31 am

      Ha! I am heading there later to get some new sneakers. I’ll have my cell phone at the ready!

      • Stormy
        May 18, 2018 at 3:22 pm

        Roll up yer windows and lick the doors

  • Lifetime Learner
    May 17, 2018 at 9:18 am

    Fascinating. This pack appears to have a matriarchal social structure with a female alpha.

  • Rick Shaw
    May 17, 2018 at 8:24 am

    The bottle could not have done much damage as they only drink out of plastic in Lawrence. I call it the syringe city or the mistake by the Merrimack. The only nice things in Lawrence are the BMW’s the drug dealers drive around in…oh wait most of them have big exhaust pipes and ground effects.

  • Clitty Litter
    May 17, 2018 at 7:26 am

    “ Aw shit! Una botella! “
    Sounded like hitting rocks with an aluminum bat.

    • Jack Straw from Wichita
      May 17, 2018 at 2:10 pm

      Oh man, I concur; the play-by-play in Spanish was priceless!

      “Oh shit, una botella! Mira! Mira! Mira! Llame a la policia! Call the cops!”

      What’s amazing is that the guy was able to walk away after taking those shots to the skull.

      • Clitty Litter
        May 17, 2018 at 5:52 pm

        I’d buy that for a dollar! ( canned laugh track here)
        That made the video jump from good to great!

  • Barack Obama
    May 17, 2018 at 7:13 am

    Now thats what i meant by fundamentally transforming America

  • bigdaddy
    May 17, 2018 at 6:57 am

    Are you sure that isnt Mogadishu?

  • Donald Trump
    May 17, 2018 at 6:52 am

    I was right again Lawrence is a shithole

  • Big Al
    May 16, 2018 at 10:53 pm

    Absolute human shit ! These animals always cry that they “dun get no respec”…..and do you know why ? Because they act like subhuman jungle dwellers !
    The worst thing the Feds did was take out the Mob. Nature abhors a vacuum, and the vacuum has been filled by these cretins.

    • Burlando Castile
      May 17, 2018 at 12:02 am

      I love how this story reads like those old Budweiser commercials starting with “Real men of genius…today we salute you…” Lol! Great write up, Turtle. This is the writing style that made me a fan way back. BTW, that bridge has seen some shit in its day. 

    • Diversity is Cancer
      May 17, 2018 at 5:40 am

      Yes we can, Obama’s hope and change for the third world.

      Import the entire populations of Central America and mehico into the US. When people come to the US they bring their problems with them, then become Democrats for life so long as the EBT card is getting recharged every month.

      Respect there culture gringos, street violence, violent crime and lawlessness is there culture. Who the F are you to judge them with your Eurocentric white man racism. Celebrate the diversity of violence and chaos.

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