Mainstream Media Fails

Masslive Chud Factory Reporter Calls Turtleboy Racist For Hilarious Apartheid Anecdote Because The MSM Doesn’t Understand Satire And Inflames Racial Tensions

Masslive Chud Factory Reporter Calls Turtleboy Racist For Hilarious Apartheid Anecdote Because The MSM Doesn’t Understand Satire And Inflames Racial Tensions

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Yesterday we published this blog about a rather amusing situation in which a confused South African gutterskag aired his grievances about getting shot by the Worcester Police, on a Worcester, MA Facebook page. Turns out he’s from Worcester, South Africa, which was confusing because he writes like most people in Worcester, MA who we normally blog about:

Anyway, it was a short little harmless blog. Then this guy showed up:

His name is Dan Glaun and he’s a MSM reporter from Masslive. He went to UMass-Amherst for four years, played by the rules, got good grades, and followed the path of a traditional, classically trained journalist.

And like most of these people, they hate Turtleboy because we cut the line, took over the media, and now they make less than WANDA collects from the government every year. As a matter of fact my GPA at UMass was a solid 2.08 when it was all said and done. Right in the meaty part of the curve. Not trying to show off, but not falling too far behind (Costanza 3:16). I certainly didn’t major in journalism, because being a MSM reporter is the least appealing job ever. So instead we started our own blog which is wildly successful and much more viewed than Masslive could ever dream of being. And this burns them alive. This is why they try to hard to discredit us.

Here’s what Dan Glaun said about our Worcester, South Africa blog this morning:

You see what he’s trying to do there right? He’s attempting to imply that we’re racist because we

  1. Don’t understand the difference between Afrikaans and broken English
  2. Made an apartheid joke
  3. Made a joke about a guy deserving to get shot

This is how pathetic and sad the MSM is. Instead of finding real news they’re reading Turtleboy to find things that offend them.

Newsflash – that apartheid joke was hilarious. It worked on so many levels. “You can run, but you can’t apartheid.” Get it? Because he was running from the cops, but they found him and shot him anyway. We used “apartheid” instead of “hide” because they rhyme. This is what’s called “humor.” Remember humor? Jokes? Stuff like that. We also did a blog yesterday in which we called a man “Obamaphones Jones.” It’s highly unlikely that this is his real name. However, Bones Jones is a famous UFC fighter, and Jones also rhymes with Obamaphones, so it was the perfect match.

Get it now Danny boy? Why don’t you have a coke and a smile and sit the next couple of plays out. If you learn to live life without a stick up your ass we might just turn that frown upside “Glaun.” Get it? Because your name is Glaun and it rhymes with down!!

As for Afrikaans, we are well aware of the difference between that dialect and English. However, this is not Afrikaans:

This is hoodrat English. And I’m pretty sure in Afrikaans, they use periods. There isn’t a language on earth in which this could be used to pass a 2nd grade equivalency test.

We also made a joke about him “deserving to be shot.” Ya know, because he comes across like a gigantic fudnut. We don’t really think he deserves to be shot unless he put someone else’s safety at risk. Most people get that because they understand how satire works. Then again these normal people don’t work in the mainstream media.

The bottom line is that the MSM only exists at this point to divide us. Their favorite tactic is using the race card over and over again until it sticks. They’ve been trying to pin something on us for years to prove that we’re racist but they haven’t found a single thing. Not one in any of our 5,000+ blogs. And this is the best he could come up with. Dan Glaun? More like Dan Clown!!!



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11 Comment(s)
  • Sonny's Mom
    September 8, 2017 at 8:35 am

    Because Dan Glaun’s life ambition is to be the next Rachel Mad-cow. (Rhymes with Maddow… get it?)

  • Dondoo
    Don Dewey
    September 8, 2017 at 6:42 am

    I don’t think you can call the guy ‘Lee-roy’ even if he calls himself that…it’s just like the ‘n-word’.

  • chrissy
    September 8, 2017 at 12:22 am

    this was a good article it’s sad humour has to be defined and defended and illustrated but clearly, as proven over and over again here, it does. :p

  • White Nationalist Turtle Rider
    September 7, 2017 at 9:28 pm

    But I mean, Lee-roy DOES deserve to get shot.

  • Stan the man
    September 7, 2017 at 3:43 pm

    Dan, you’re a Herb.
    Take the poli -sci degree,go back to school,get your JD and become a soulless lawyer.
    You might enjoy life more

  • Aahil
    September 7, 2017 at 2:14 pm

    He’s a young lemming and brainwashed already. Obviously he needs much more life experience to start with. On the other hand, look where he’s working. If one can call it work.

  • livesinlowell
    September 7, 2017 at 2:01 pm

    Love the puns. Always make me laugh. I also enjoyed the Costanza verse, classic.

    Let’s see how Glaun handles this verbal lashing. He just better take his punishment and move on. Doubling down against TB typically results in a turtle grave plot.

  • Ashley Mendolusky
    September 7, 2017 at 2:00 pm

    dude the obamaphones jones was the funniest thing ive ever heard.

  • Noseface
    September 7, 2017 at 1:49 pm

    Swear to god, when I read that blog yesterday, I thought to myself “here comes the firestorm”. I knew those stiffs would call it racist.

  • Chris Seith
    September 7, 2017 at 1:43 pm

    Yeah afrikaans is a mix of dutch and some other jibberish. Not enhlish. Plus masslives been riden turtle dick hard the past two weeks.

  • foleyworld
    September 7, 2017 at 1:09 pm

    You tell em Uncle Turtle! What a loser!!! Zero Personality, stick in the mud! So desperate for something to complain about he’s lost all sensitivity to satire!!!
    Enjoy your humorless, (and I’m taking a wild gamble here) sexless life LOSER!

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