Methzilla Crabwalks Around Lynn After Flakka Binge Just In Time For Halloween

“Lynn, Lynn the City of Sin; you never come out the way you went in.”

-Ancient North Shore Proverb








Want to advertise with Turtleboy? Email us at [email protected] for more information.





Holla atcha girl: [email protected]








Trick or  treat trick!  Happy Halloween, Turtleriders. Sorry to be the bearer of bad news, but the only treat outta Lynn you’re gonna get today is this gem of a video series, captured this past weekend by a local promo girl by the name of Stacey Queen.



There are quite a few clips and they’re all relatively short, so the video deluge begins here:



I had a hard time figuring out if this was an urban spin off of The Walking Dead or what.


The Methzilla featured in the video is a local scagglebeast by the name of Rachelle Young 


and apparently, this is not her first Flakka-induced truffle shuffle around the City of Sin.



Anecdotes suggest she was picked up by EMTs a week or two ago under similar circumstances, and police logs corroborate

she was indeed picked up on October 11th on a warrant for “trespassing” – which of course, allows her to scuttle on back to her crab(ck) cave once she’s sobered up and get back down to her five finger meth lunch ways.


But before she was cuffed and stuffed after this latest debauchle, Methzilla had a blast limbo’ing around the neighborhood near the Lynn court

How low can ya go? Limbo!

Get it, girl!

And she also participated in a rousing rendition of the Monster Mash


Jazz hands! Trying to get Monsieur Skeletor on board with getting down and doing the dougie


Image result for the dougie gif

He wasn’t havin’ none of that, though.


Once Methzilla realized she had an audience aside from her bag o’ bones friend, she quickly approached the wheeled spectators, probably to challenge them to a dance off

Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeey macarena!


Image result for macarena gif



Denied and feeling the boogie blues, she screams in anguish while showing off her totally not ironic choice of attire

Yep, the shirt reads “the good die young”


I knoooooow you all think I am a mean and miserable bitch lately, and yes, she’s got “the disease” but lemme tell you – public shaming works:


Image may contain: 3 people, people smiling, eyeglasses


Just ask this mom from Indiana whose OD photo was shared on social media by the police in her town as a wake up call.  Guess what? Shit worked. She was so horrified, embarrassed, but more importantly, she was empowered to do better for herself and her child and she’s currently a year clean and sober and on a much healthier path in life. Kudos to her!


Methzilla has also had a baby fly out of her tuna flap, and hopefully doesn’t have custody of her kid. But maybe Turtleboy infamy will help her get on the straight and narrow and wanting to fix her life. One can only hope, right?



Happy Halloween, and watch out for those crabwalking zombies tonight!












17 Comment(s)
  • CrossFit King
    November 1, 2017 at 8:39 pm

    That’s not drugs, she’s doing CrossFit.

  • Chip Striker
    November 1, 2017 at 5:17 pm

    Funny thing is the junkbox isnt as stupid as the latina cunt narrating it. Knows how to post the videos on Facebook, but when her friend suggests calling the police she says “what? how?”

  • DJ Trump
    November 1, 2017 at 7:02 am

    Well, something has to cull the herd of the brainless non-tax paying public.
    And these folks are having a good time toboot.
    More and faster I say.

  • Wtf is that?
    November 1, 2017 at 12:51 am

    That sounds and looks like one crazy drug. I must be sheltered because I’ve never even heard of that drug before. Imagine if we start having an epidemic of that, the world will really look like the zombie apocalypse has started.
    What is that drug anyway, is it illegal or is it like that fake marijuana people can buy, spice or something, or is it more like bath salts (I don’t even know how you use bath salts but at least I’ve heard of that one)? I want to say I’m scared for my children growing up in this world with all these new drugs but this woman is an adult. Although I am still scared for my children.

    • chrissy
      November 1, 2017 at 2:34 pm

      look up the YouTube vids of the zombies on it smashing through windshields of vehicles etc it’s crazy scary

    • mitch
      November 1, 2017 at 10:31 pm

      Methamphetamine self induced psychosis. As common as rain in most emergency room psych units. A little haldol, some cogentin, and 8-12 hours of sleep and she will be discharged right out the door to start the whole cycle all over again. This is everywhere, across the whole usa. They cannot be held unless they are arrested, but that is very rare. They are just a complete nuisance to the police, who just want to dump them on the hospital and take off. The average person is horrified but this is in every ER every night. The entire country is flooded with dirt cheap ,ice ,meth ,flakka. No end in sight as long as the borders are wide open. Before you start flinging rocks, it’s all walks of life getting caught up in this shit, sorry to say.

      • Sheryl
        November 2, 2017 at 4:05 pm

        They should be at liberty to commit repeat patients to minimum 30-day lockdown and treatment. Unfortunately drug use isn’t against the law unless witnessed by authorities in public.

  • Thomas Doubting
    October 31, 2017 at 8:57 pm

    In the video she looks likes a creature out of the movie “The Thing”. Disease my ass, it’s a choice people. Next it’ll be a “disease” when some piece of shit robs a bank or molests a kid. There can’t be a Mulligan for every mistake in life.

  • Dave P
    October 31, 2017 at 3:30 pm

    Kinda reminds me of that show Gumby.

  • ElJefe72
    October 31, 2017 at 2:56 pm

    She need some milk!

  • Bill Clinton
    October 31, 2017 at 2:31 pm

    A woman that flexible is a riot in the sack!

    Trust me, I know!

    • Kevin Spacey
      October 31, 2017 at 2:59 pm

      Not nearly as flexible as 14 year old boys. I know.

  • Ray sinbran
    October 31, 2017 at 2:06 pm

    Clearly this drug is poison to humans. At first Glance this vid is hilarious…….but then think if she a part of your family. Tragic.

  • 1965
    October 31, 2017 at 1:34 pm

    One, this bitch can’t even speak in proper English. Guess she had to make money off her tits. Two, “only the good die young..” hm. Three, course this animal zombie thing has the universal ratchet sneaker!

  • Meh
    October 31, 2017 at 1:30 pm

    Interesting that this would all come from a promo girl.

  • Finn
    October 31, 2017 at 12:48 pm

    Her spine is so, uh, bendy….

  • Bstuff
    October 31, 2017 at 12:38 pm

    Call me old fashioned but that does not look like fun.

Comment on this Post


This Truck Driver Was Really, Really Pissed About The 65 Car Accident Pile Up On 290 In Worcester.
Chinese Guy Jumps Seven Floors To His Death To Get Out Of Shopping With Girlfriend
South African Dude Who Pretended To Sign Language Obama’s Nelson Mandela Speech Is Apparently An Insane Murdering Rapist?