“Lynn, Lynn the City of Sin; you never come out the way you went in.”-Ancient North Shore Proverb
Want to advertise with Turtleboy? Email us at [email protected] for more information.
Holla atcha girl: [email protected]
Trick or treat trick! Happy Halloween, Turtleriders. Sorry to be the bearer of bad news, but the only treat outta Lynn you’re gonna get today is this gem of a video series, captured this past weekend by a local promo girl by the name of Stacey Queen.
There are quite a few clips and they’re all relatively short, so the video deluge begins here:
I had a hard time figuring out if this was an urban spin off of The Walking Dead or what.
The Methzilla featured in the video is a local scagglebeast by the name of Rachelle Young
and apparently, this is not her first Flakka-induced truffle shuffle around the City of Sin.
Anecdotes suggest she was picked up by EMTs a week or two ago under similar circumstances, and police logs corroborate
she was indeed picked up on October 11th on a warrant for “trespassing” – which of course, allows her to scuttle on back to her crab(ck) cave once she’s sobered up and get back down to her five finger meth lunch ways.
But before she was cuffed and stuffed after this latest debauchle, Methzilla had a blast limbo’ing around the neighborhood near the Lynn court
How low can ya go? Limbo!
Get it, girl!
And she also participated in a rousing rendition of the Monster Mash
Jazz hands! Trying to get Monsieur Skeletor on board with getting down and doing the dougie
He wasn’t havin’ none of that, though.
Once Methzilla realized she had an audience aside from her bag o’ bones friend, she quickly approached the wheeled spectators, probably to challenge them to a dance off
Denied and feeling the boogie blues, she screams in anguish while showing off her totally not ironic choice of attire
Yep, the shirt reads “the good die young”
I knoooooow you all think I am a mean and miserable bitch lately, and yes, she’s got “the disease” but lemme tell you – public shaming works:
Just ask this mom from Indiana whose OD photo was shared on social media by the police in her town as a wake up call. Guess what? Shit worked. She was so horrified, embarrassed, but more importantly, she was empowered to do better for herself and her child and she’s currently a year clean and sober and on a much healthier path in life. Kudos to her!
Methzilla has also had a baby fly out of her tuna flap, and hopefully doesn’t have custody of her kid. But maybe Turtleboy infamy will help her get on the straight and narrow and wanting to fix her life. One can only hope, right?
Happy Halloween, and watch out for those crabwalking zombies tonight!