Social Justice Warriors

Missouri Protesters Made Up Lies About The KKK So They Could Skip Tests And Sell T-Shirts

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Every hour it seems more and more bullshit about the Missouri protests get exposed. Well Turtleboy has discovered evidence that the whole thing has turned into a way for students to, 1) skip tests, and 2) sell t-shirts. Let’s start from the top.

Payton Head is the senior class president at Missouri.


He started this entire thing by alleging that he was called the n word by an unknown white man in a pickup truck on campus. No description. No plate. Nothing. Just an anecdote that set off a gigantic protest that forced the school president to step down.

Last night Payton Head  – a gay black man who chose to go to a school that he believes is the most racist and intolerant place on earth – started a world of terror for black students by writing on his Facebook page that there were KKK riding around campus in pickup trucks terrorizing black people:

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After this his post was picked up by a guy named “Reggie Noble,” who sells a t-shirt line called “pure black.” His post was then retweeted retweeted as FACT by national black lives matter leader (and alleged white guy) Shaun King, who has 250,000 followers on Twitter:

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The problem is that Reggie Noble wasn’t there, which he readily admits that he regrets at 11:28 on November 10 on Twitter:

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He was at home watching the Tyson-Holyfield 30 for 30 documentary, hours from campus at 10:02:

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Yet both of these guys, who PROFIT off of the perception of racism, were reporting a Klan rally at Missouri where racist white guys were hunting down black people, as if it were fact. Here he is once again trying to incite a race war, and reporting unconfirmed social media rumors as fact:

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After that he started retweeting a Missouri students tweets about her harrowing tale of being chased and surrounded by a monster truck full of racist whites, it’s a whale of a tale.

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As a matter of fact Hailey and this angry bearded man child surrounded some white people in the cafeteria on campus who had the audacity to (gasp) EAT FOOD, and told them that they were there to make them feel uncomfortable – ya know…because they’re white so they should feel uncomfortable while they shove food down their gullets.

Yet this girl Hailey, who has 10,000 followers and over 260 pictures, couldn’t manage to take a SINGLE snap shot of the seamingly ENDLESS supply of racists who were surrounding them, looking at her in the eyes, and having a racist cult circle. She actually said all those things and they were taken as fact. No questions asked.

In case you can’t tell by this girl’s tweets, she’s a filthy liar who gets off on attention. You’d have to be a moron to think any of this is true. Obviously. But Reggie Noble and Shaun King reported it as fact because they wanted it to be a fact. They wanted to create an atmosphere of fear. They wanted to make black people think that there are klansmen everywhere looking to kill them. They weren’t really there, so they had to make it up.

Why? Well Shaun King is a professional black lives matter protester. I have no idea how he makes money but when you have that many followers it’s not hard to figure out how to capitalize off of it.

But Reggie Noble sells “pure black” t-shirts. And guess what he’s been pushing HARD ever since he started spreading these false rumors:

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Yup. T-shirts. Speaking of – have you bought your Turtleboy Sports hoodie yet? They’re comfortable and when people see you wearing them they know you’re addicted to the truth. BUY, BUY, BUY!!!!

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The girl Hailey brings up an interesting point about not taking her tests tomorrow – don’t you think? If you were running for your life from angry Klansmen trying to kill you, would you be thinking about the big test you have to take tomorrow? Nope. No one would think about a test unless they were lying, which Hailey obviously is.

Well a professor named Dale Brigham sent an email out to all his students that seemed pretty harmless and well thought out in order to soothe their fears:


But instead of appreciating the wisdom of her experienced professor with a PhD, she decided that he was being insensitive to her feelings:

Because according to her Twitter, she’s basically living in Stalingrad circa December 1942:

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She’s running for her life? Ya got that? She’s running through the quad like it’s Omaha freaking Beach.

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Yup. Shaun King tweeted it out. Therefore it’s “confirmed.” This is what this generation thinks is news. This is how dumb and hopeless they are.

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Yea, if the police say there’s no KKK they’re obviously covering it up. Shaun King and the guy selling t-shirts are a lot more credible.

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Oh for fucks sake.

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It’s probably just Jen Roy. Ignore her and she’ll go away.

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Life is hard when you’re an Illinois resident paying out of state tuition to go to a state college.

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GFQ. You should probably just shelter in place and never come out. That’s the only way you’ll ever evade all those imaginary klansmen outside.

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Well as it turns out her complaint about having to take a test caught the attention of her professor, because he was getting death threats from students. Ya got that? The professor was getting death threats because he told kids the truth – everything is fine and if you’re too scared to come to class then you’re letting the bad guys win. For that he became a target. Because it’s 2015 in PC America and this is how things work.

Finally he said “fuck it” and he resigned:


Naturally students were happy about it:

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Although the first girl looked like she realized what an asshole she was being:

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Keep in mind, these fears all came from unconfirmed rumors perpetuated by Reggie Noble, Shaun King, and Payton Head – two of whom do not attend Missouri. One was selling t-shirts, another is the leader of a fraudulent anti-police movement, and the third is a black man who finds Missouri to be so unsafe for black people despite the fact that he was democratically elected class president.

These are just immature teenagers. Attention whores who have no clue what they’re talking about. They want to believe they’re involved in some life or death struggle, but they’re not. They have however convinced themselves they are.

As usual, we don’t blame them – we blame the people who have enabled them to be victims. Responsible adults should’ve recognized this for what it is – a joke. The University of Missouri is a disgrace because they gave into these self indulgent dooshnozzles. They should’ve let the football team not play and taken away all their scholarships. You guys suck and you lost to Vanderbilt. Don’t let the door hit you on the way out. We’ll give scholarships to people who aren’t morons. Missouri fans should have no problem with that, because after all, these are the losers who were quitting on your team’s season over NOTHING. Literally NOTHING.

But instead we let spoiled, rich brats win because they yell loudly and swear at adults. We created this monster by not telling them the magic words they need to hear – SHUT THE FUCK UP. Instead we told them their opinions were valued and what they had to say matters. It doesn’t. It’s worthless and baseless. And as a result we’ve lost a college president and a PhD professor who has a near PERFECT RATING from

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This is why people are voting for Donald Trump. Murica.


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17 Comment(s)
  • Del Griffith
    November 13, 2015 at 6:55 pm

    Is it racist to hate hippies? So, I’ve read this little fucktard has visited the White House four times. Tell me again this isn’t some coordinated effort to cause upheaval.

  • don't be so petty
    November 13, 2015 at 11:07 am

    You know what? That shit make ME feel unsafe. WTF.

  • Nope, no thanks
    November 12, 2015 at 5:16 pm

    That video in the dining hall is really troubling. What were they hoping to accomplish other than make people who are just minding their own business feel uncomfortable and maybe a little threatened? I wish there was a way to share the video. But maybe it’s just as well there isn’t. Our country is more divided every day and it is heartbreaking.

  • BR
    November 12, 2015 at 1:14 pm

    Turtleboy – YOU need to run for president! Out of the nearly two dozen democratic and republican candidates, YOU make the most sense of all of them!

    You are nice when you call it “PC America” – I call it the pussification and entitlement of America!! Plain and simple!! Our society has turned a generation into a bunch of f-ing entitled pussies!! You have 16 teams playing the same sport – everyone gets a trophy – there are NO second or third or last place finishers? WTF? Sorry, but not everyone can be first in life. Use that logic when the kid gets older and applies for a single position advertised in a company with 100 applicants…99 technically lose because they don’t get the job!! Now these 99 don’t know how to handle this as they have never “lost” in their lives up to this point. We use “Happy Holidays” as not to offend anyone? I am offended that no one says Merry Christmas to me any longer!! Merry Christmas! Happy Hanukkah! Happy Kwanzaa! Merry or Happy whatever-the-fuck-it-is-you-celebrate!

    And just so any detractors don’t have a field day with this post thinking that I am an ignorant resident of the local trailer park driving around in my pick-up truck with a rebel flag flying proud and a rifle rack in the rear window (not that there is anything wrong with that), I am a successful, middle-aged, middle class, college educated professional who is sick-and-tired of America going overboard in the PC department! Like nearly every other kid in my school, I was picked on and was the recipient of jokes and pranks, but that only made me stronger in life!!

    Keep up the great work Turtleboy! We should start a write-in movement for you for president!

  • JR
    November 12, 2015 at 12:31 pm

    We are supposed to believe that killa² is in fear for her life.


  • Chris From Georgia
    November 12, 2015 at 9:02 am

    Who in their right mind would ever want to hire anyone who went to Mizzou?? By the way their football team sucks so bad even Georgia beat them this year.

    • Peterpan
      November 12, 2015 at 11:14 am

      Who in there right mind would ever go to college in the south.

      • Turtlerider
        November 12, 2015 at 1:57 pm

        Missouri is technically the mid-west.

  • Thornton Melon
    November 12, 2015 at 8:56 am

    I’m almost happy for the people resigning from Mizzou. It clearly isn’t a fun place to be and if they’re not enjoying their jobs, then they can go work somewhere that actually wants them. I get that, as the professor says, it’s “letting the bad guys win,” but as an adult, you don’t have to deal with this stuff. You have every right to pack up and move.

  • wesawbearsonce
    November 12, 2015 at 5:33 am

    Is it just me, or are there several unhealthy and explicit connections to the Salem Witch Trials of 1692-3? False accusations, sensationalism, wild rhetoric, mob mentality, lack of due process, lack of thoughtfulness, knee-jerk (and then neck jerk) reactions?
    Maybe it’s just me. Scary stuff kids. Thought Halloween was over.

  • Wwy
    November 12, 2015 at 1:08 am

    Let’s see how many American idiots just found out Obama and bush are cousins,they got you suckers.

  • Wwy
    November 12, 2015 at 1:06 am

    Happy Veterans Day to all who protected this country til 1960, sorry to the others fighting Israeli wars in Iraq,Syria,Libya,etc,etc,etc,etc,etc,etc,etc,. God bless Russian troops for sending those Isis(Israeli) bastards out of the country. Obama and his cousin George bush can screw.

    • Chris From Georgia
      November 12, 2015 at 8:57 am

      Go F*** Yourself.

  • Publius
    November 12, 2015 at 12:18 am

    Anyone under the age of 50 has seen black privilege in action. Come to the head of the line, wink wink.

    • Skeptical
      November 13, 2015 at 11:42 am

      Affirmative action has logical ideals, but awful implementation. It is a shame, really.

      And I am loathe to admit, and disappointed to notice that no one commented on the professor’s email being proudly reminiscent of the late great Dr Martin Luther King, who would have proudly agreed with him. That noble man would not have dared let those that terrorize him win, and would have peacefully walked to to class and done his best, regardless of threat.

      The fucking disgusting insult of these children to the school age (read: underage) blacks that literally risked their lives and at times paid in blood to peacefully demonstrate their rights to go to school with whites is appalling. Younger individuals had far more courage, and were proud to be the first ones to peacefully fight for their rights to go to class.

      Hiding like a coward does not show you truly wish to stand up for your rights. Mr King would never hide, he was unafraid. It is an insult to invoke his name in this movement.

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