Here’s an unusual post we got tagged in on a 413 yard sale page yesterday….
She hasn’t eaten in 3 days, she has no money, she’s homeless and sleeping in the rain. But she got that iPhone charged up though, that’s for sure. She does have “content” for sale too, whatever that means. Pretty much anything with or without mass would be considered content.
Of course you should’ve realized something was up because her story doesn’t make any sense, but more importantly…..
Dog filter. Ratchet status confirmed.
Lots of people naively offered her help, presumably because they’ve never been on a Facebook yard sale page before and aren’t familiar with the concept of guttermuppets existing.
But that’s OK. It’s OK to be naive. What I can’t stand are the ones who think they’re better than everyone else who tells these slugpumps to get a job. More on them later.
Every time someone offered her help she always had a reason why it wasn’t good enough.
Then she played the “I just moved here from Texas to escape domestic abuse” card.
Because studies have shown that the domestic abuse card yields higher dividends than the single Mom card you see more often. There’s no shortage of whiny single moms looking for free shit in between Enfield and Holyoke. But domestic abuse victims from Texas are much rarer, and much more likely to get free shit.
However, some people noticed what I did…..
Only in America do the poorest among us have data plans.
This of course led to the virtue signaling morons, who would soon be exposed for being gullible twats, chastising people who were skeptical.
Hey Lauren, she doesn’t want to sleep in your house. She wants heroin. If you let her in your house she will rob your ass, so please, give it a shot.
“Only God can judge.”
Jizzrag status achieved.
So what was this content she had for sale? Clarence asked on her public post and was immediately solicited to purchase “content.”
Naturally “content” meant homemade squirting videos where she makes Mold Glory explode, or some old creampie classics.
Next was a discussion about payment, but because we felt bad that this girl is a pathetic digital hooker selling herself in videos so that she can buy smack off Diego, we figured we’d see if we could pay her for PG rated content instead.
The fact that she’s well versed in Western Union transactions tells me everything I need to know about her typical client base.
Today she messaged Clarence again…….
So she has a job, but her employer keeps writing checks that bounce. Yet she still keeps working there at this imaginary “small retail shop.”
Another turtle rider apparently went all the way and got some “content” from her without paying.
Turns out the homeless skank who hasn’t eaten in three days has a Venmo with a professionally designed cover photo, and likely makes money by going into random yard sale groups selling her stench trench spelunking clips.
She also does massages in Springfield.
For just $40. Suck on that Bob Kraft. She even offers to come to you, which means she probably has a car and everything she posted was a lie.
Now let’s all point and laugh at the people who think they’re better than everyone else because they blindly believed this Facebook hooker’s sob story.
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why does she think shes anything special that lame dudes will PAY to see her videos when PORN is all over the interweb for FREE?! Do people really pay an ugly junkie snowbunny to see her nasty twat when u can see dime ass porn stars for free?? If so, u look even more stupid & pathetic than her, & thats insane.
Now it’s Flake Linseed. Nope. Not even with your cock. If she’s squirtin’ for money ’cause she’s hurtin’ for money then there’s herpes in her honey.
Squirtle Girl has really fallen from grace.
Everything’s $40. Not so coincidentally, thats the exact cost of a double bag of H.
arrrgh! little known fact that the”pearl”was named after me favorite lady of the night from port royal. aye she was a squirter too! one evening she shot a pearl out and the legend was born. jack the monkey said he would and captain barbossa said she is worthy of a cleveland steamer….arrgh! care to parlay my fine lass? oh and do you accept cursed incan gold as payment?
Build that wall!
Can someone invest 40 bucks to do some research and let us know if those squirting vids are any good? Looking to trim my expenses due to my legal bills. 40 bucks is a nice savings over the 60+ 100 tip at the massage parlor…
This is my favorite article in forever! Have her on the show!
Woooooo hooooooo, WE GOT A SQUIRTER!!!! I think I’m gonna ask for her hand in marriage.
What’s her user name on MyFreeCams? Can you ask?
Yeah… Hard pass on that. At least not for 40 bucks! 2 for 20 would work
I would pay to see a video of the previous blog’s subject, Tee-Wrex-N-Effex, banging this broad.
It’d be a nice change for him, too, because I heard he beats-off with his feet.
Poor guy, no one’s willing to give him a hand!
Ok, so I am supposed to send this ugly , saggy titted Skank money to watch her and the bearded cuck bf go at it with one of her undoubtedly hideous gf’s . With all the free porn out there with hot women I am paying to see that freak show? Also waiting for a rebuttal from the morons who actually bought this pathetic sob story.
Jesus H. Fucking Christ !
I just ate dinner ! I nearly threw up in my mouth.
You can literally smell the vileness of her flappers right through the phone !
I’d rather beat off looking at pictures of dead puppies !
Oh, the horror ! The horror !!!
Mr Wood says….Would!!! Only because he cares about the downtrodden.
Seriously, Turtleboy et al., where the f do you dig up these gems?