Hoodrat Heroes

Morons Are So Mad At This Worcester Ratchet Who Is Price Gouging Hatchimals And We Are Siding With The Ratchet

People are fired up that this ratchet is selling Hatchimals for $300, and for ocne we are siding with the ratchet.

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So tonight some chick posted this on a Worcester County Yard Sale Facebook Page:


As you can see, she is selling a toy called “Hatchimals” for $200, which evidently are the latest version of Tickle Me Elmo. And make no doubt about it – this chick is definitely a Worcester ratchet. You need only look at the chosen headgear of her lifelong boyfriend to understand that:


Flat brimmed Chicago Bulls hat. The official hat of deadbeat dads everywhere.

Anyway, people were really fired up about this. Let’s see why….


No, they’re not $50 toys. They WERE $50 toys. Now they’re $200 toys. If the demand isn’t there for them then she will have no choice but to reduce the price, or else she will suffer a heavy loss. This is how capitalism works.


The Christmas Spirit? HAHAHHAHAHAHAHA!!! If the “Christmas spirit” for you means buying some piece of shit viral toy because your kids won’t shut up about them, then you don’t understand what the Christmas spirit is. Go buy a sandwich for a homeless guy or make your peace with Old Man Marley like Kevin McCallister did. That’s the Christmas Spirit. Charles Dickens “A Christmas Carol” ends with Scrooge wishing everyone a merry Christmas and buying Tiny Tim a turkey. It doesn’t end with him going to Wal-Mart and buying Tiny Tim a Tickle Me Elmo.


Only a Nazi brags about reporting Facebook posts they don’t like. Don’t like it? Don’t buy it? Don’t agree with it? Move on with your life. There is a special place in hell for these sort of fascists.


Wait a minute. Wal-Mart is now selling them for $50? It’s almost as if you could go to Wal-Mart and buy it there for a fraction of the price.


If this were my kid, besides from her obviously flawed taste in men and proclivity for bathroom selfies, I would be quite proud of her entrepreneurial spirit.


“I don’t wanna pay the price they’re asking for, therefore they shouldn’t be allowed.” More Facebook Nazis doing what they do best.


So it’s OK for them to double the retail price, but not muliply it by four? Thank you for arbitrarily deciding how much money is too much money for someone to make in a free market. The Red Chinese approve of this message.


LOL. Doug Slinn has decided that this act of free enterprise, “doesn’t make it right.” Because that means something. This man right here gets to decided what is and is not “right”:




Not surprisingly Doug Slinn was one of the idiots involved in “Occupy Worcester” in 2011. Remember them? They pitched a bunch of tents and complained that they were poor and other people were rich. They were jealous of other people’s wealth because their lives were pure and utter failures. Shocking that he would have a problem with people profitting in a free society.


“My daughter wants one so bad, but instead of telling her no or buying her a better toy for less money, I blame the person who is charging a price I don’t agree with.”

“I refuse to put money in other people’s pockets for greed. Unless this toy is being sold at Wal-Mart. They’re not greedy at all.”

“I want something that I’m not willing to pay for. This makes me sad.”


I have been through a lot of Christmases as a kid. Never once got a Hatchimal. But yet my Christmas experiences were amazing and pleasant. How is that possible? The only way a kid can be happy on Christmas is when their parents buy some overpriced toy made by an 8 year old in China. Sure, they could just buy it next year for $10, but they want it now. Therefore, how can you live with yourself?


“It should be illegal because I don’t like it.”

Oh yea, and if she gets stuck with them then it will be because she set her prices too high. Then she will have no choice but to lower the prices. This is how a free market works.


No, they’re not taking away from any other kids on Christmas. More than likely she’ll find plenty of morons who will pay the $200, and their kids will like their stupid Christmas gift. Then they’ll stop playing with it after a couple weeks and Mom and Dad will feel like fucking idiots for buying into the latest viral craze.

If anything, blame the company for not making enough of these to meet demand. They knew people would want these and they are intentionally keeping them off the market in order to drive up demand. But why take your anger out on the gigantic corporation who is robbing you blind when you can blame the Webster Square chick who’s trying to raise money for scratch tickets and Newport Lights?


Call the IRS????!!! HAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHA!!! Yea, this is the sort of thing the IRS investigated. Definitely.


Oh snap!! Game changer!! Jenny Vautour has really good friends who work for the IRS. They’re gonna stop what they’re doing and investigate some Worcester hoodrat selling a Christmas toy on the Internet!! Because when I see this face:


The first thing I think is, “that chick knows someone at the IRS – better not mess with her.”


I LOVE when legal experts start listing off all these laws the rest of us are unfamiliar with. Yea, selling something for more than you paid for it is ILLEGAL!!! Literally no one does that. When I go to a restaurant and buy a cheeseburger and fries for $11.99, that means that the restaurant paid $11.99 for it too.


When Michelle Arnhold isn’t busy saving France from terrorists she is scouring the Internet offering free legal advice. Well Michelle, she actually marked it up 400%, but who’s counting? However, I’m curious about how much you can legally mark up an item for sale? 150%? 200%? Because I’m sure this law exists and you can show it to us. Definitely.


Oh look, ANOTHER Internet lawyer!! He’s obviously not familiar with a magical place called “Stubhub.” If he was, then he could go and see what people are charging for tickets to the Patriots-Rams game on December 4. Since the Rams suck balls, people should be able to get tickets for face value, right? Let’s see what they cost:


$858. I’m sure that’s what the seller paid for them. It’s almost as if the guy bought these tickets ahead of time, knowing that people would want them and then he could raise the price and make a profit off of it!! And there’s nothing more anti-American than making a profit off of the buying and selling of goods. How much for the nose bleed tickets?


$244. For last row seats in the upper left hand corner of the stadium. Sounds legit!! Better call the IRS on Stubhub!! After all, some guy on Facebook said that scalping was illegal. And don’t tell them about what Cubs tickets cost for the World Series (average price was $3,000 per ticket) because their heads will explode.

If you bought into this shit then shame on you. The mere fact that you WANT this is what is driving up demand and thus driving up the price. Of course you would never be able to understand simple microeconomics because you’d rather spend your time whining instead of learning how a fucking economy works. Don’t like the price of something? Don’t buy it. But the company has already outsourced the labor to a country with no labor or environmental laws, lobbied politicians for favorable trade deals, and marked up the price for retail value. So why can’t this chick? Just buy your kid a fucking book and give them a hug and maybe they won’t turn out to be a giant dumbass.

P.S. If you really want your kid to have one of these toys then just wait until after Christmas when the price plummets. In the mean time leave this not under the tree:



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22 Comment(s)
  • Acain
    December 1, 2016 at 5:39 pm

    This has been entirely way too entertaining for me!! Thanks for the article. It made my day. The entertainment factor in watching people go completely ignorant over a toy (and a profoundly retarded toy at that), is way too good to miss. I just wonder how many of them will feel stupid the second day of the kid having the toy when they figure out how stupid it is and decide that they don’t even want to play with it. People are so stupid!!

  • Dustin
    November 30, 2016 at 6:51 pm

    What half of you fucking douchebags plus the author don’t seem to understand is that the “demand” being the driving factor is bullshit. Yes, the demand for this toy is high, but not nearly as high as it would be if these fucking greedy bitches hadn’t cleared out the shelves with the express intent of scalping the price later. The “demand” and “free market” bullshit you idiots are running with is artificial. You have 10 doohickeys, and only 10 people want to buy your doohickey. Supply = demand and the price is balanced. But instead the first guy bought all 10, and now wants to sell the remaining 9 for 4x’s the price. This isn’t “free market”, or “supply and demand”, or “capitalism at its finest”. No, its vulture capitalism at its worst, and every single person that had to have this explained to you is a fucking dumbass and you need to be sterilized…especially the author.

  • Aaron
    November 30, 2016 at 5:37 pm

    You know, if you want people to actually take your writing seriously, you should refrain from using words like “Morons” and “Ratchet”, especially when titling an article.

    I came across this on Google and the very first thing that came to mind when I saw your article was “this is clearly opinionated trash”. Calling people morons because they don’t share your opinion probably just means you have a weak argument.

    I find it sad and pathetic that companies actually hire people like you to write and have a voice in a public forum. Journalism should be impartial, we shouldn’t be able to tell which side you agree with; we are here for news, not some opinionated rant about how everyone is so stupid for not thinking exactly like you.

    you sound more unintelligent than the people you are calling “Morons”. Try writing like someone who isn’t full of shit with an over-inflated God complex…I mean seriously, why would anyone take what you write seriously when you’re clearly biased?

  • Kidd Savage
    November 26, 2016 at 8:40 pm

    Its too bad all these idiots crying about the price gouging of a toy arent just as vocal about the price gouging of gasoline, utilties, cable, and internet. Instead they bend over and happliy take it with a smile on their faces. Priorites…LOL

  • Gthfoh
    November 26, 2016 at 5:32 pm

    Ya, it’s so illegal to Jack the price 300%. It’s not like bars buy 30 packs or bottles of liquor and you pay for the $7-10 bottle or shot. No, of course not.

  • Tyrone
    November 25, 2016 at 4:29 pm

    It’s called capitalism good for her.

  • The Wall
    November 25, 2016 at 9:44 am

    I’ve been off of the Facebook machine for some months now. Between the Election and people like Jenny Whalen Vautour, I have zero desire to reactivate my account.

    • GFY
      November 25, 2016 at 9:56 pm

      I dropped it five years ago, best decision I’ve ever made. And I’m one of those “can’t get off their phones millennials” so happy I never saw Facebook during the election.

  • widowed
    November 25, 2016 at 9:44 am

    I do not know what a hatchimal is; I do remember tickle me elmo and trying to find one after my kid lost her dad (my husband) to cancer… I got her an elmo bath toy, wrote a letter from Santa that the elves were working to get every one a tickle me elmo and she would have hers by Valentines’ day cuz Santa loved her so much. And in January the prices dropped, tickle me was there. Santa in the “letter” told her the elves gave up their annual January VK for all the kids who still wanted one. Tickle me was regiven to a younger cousin by my kid’s 10th birthday. She loved the letter longer than Elmo. and for the over chargers of Elmo that were 4-5-6 times the rate, others paid. I was happy since those people were now out of the market, their kids were happy, as was mine at the store bought price. Their kids were no longer in the price battle after Christmas therefor making it easier to get Elmo. I have found people with little imagination complain. My kid learned first come first served, as she understood all kids were loved by Santa, and he took the requests in the order they came. funny how she never had a an issue with waiting her turn. until my 3 got their licenses in the same time period (she was the youngest of the 3 ,and the family car had to be reserved for a Saturday night. Those were my growing pains. lol

  • Independent Thinker
    November 25, 2016 at 8:40 am

    It’s called free enterprise. If people end up going crazy over them like they did with the furbies a number of years ago, she will make money. However, the consumer is in full control here. If you want her to lose money, then all you have to do is refuse to buy them from her instead of crying that you don’t think what she is doing is fair.

    I know a lot of the snowflakes think people should pay what they can afford. Rich people should pay more for an item than poor people, because they can afford it, right?

  • Fatfingr Lou
    November 25, 2016 at 8:29 am

    I now recognize my Grandma’s wisdom around Christmas..never any fights between my brothers and I over who received what, which gift was better, I wanted this or that instead. It just didn’t matter…

    Shut up, and go try on your sweater!

    At least it kept you warm during JAN and FEB school bus rides, and standing around on the paved playground during recess.

  • JRod
    November 25, 2016 at 7:44 am

    I paid $50 or $75 over store price for a Wii years ago, and the person I bought from worked at Target. They got it 10% below store price (They gave me the Original Reciept for warranty/return purposes). Those things never even made it to the shelves. Get over it, there will be another toy next year that causes the same thing.

    My sis-in-law bought one of these Hatchimals and her kids didn’t even want one, just because she kept hearing about them.

  • GFY
    November 25, 2016 at 7:17 am

    It’s almost as if different families have different incomes and therefore buy their children different toys based on the price.

    Maybe we should cancel Christmas until everything is fair and we all earn the same amount of money.

    Now that I think of it, I saw a guy driving a nicer car then me the other day, that’s not fair!!!!

  • ninja turtleboy
    November 25, 2016 at 6:35 am

    also, christmas should be canceled for any pansy kid that asks for a fake animal to hatch out of a fake egg.

    • GFY
      November 25, 2016 at 7:14 am

      People are fucking morons, hatching eggs are from like the 70s or some shit. I bought a bunch of them at Ocean State Job Lot for $1 each

  • ninja turtleboy
    November 25, 2016 at 6:21 am

    facebook is for old retarded people and i can’t believe people are still even on there.

    • whatevuh
      November 25, 2016 at 7:02 am

      hey I resemble that remark

      • ninja turtleboy
        November 25, 2016 at 7:23 am


    • JRod
      November 25, 2016 at 7:40 am

      Where else would we get this fine reading material from then?

  • Sal Monella
    November 25, 2016 at 5:26 am

    Why do people feel compelled to comment in the first place? Just to hear their own heads rattle? As I peruse Craigslist for things I may need I see worthless overpriced crap all the time. I don’t send the seller a message.

    Facebook is the most worthless form of communication ever invented. It has degraded society, not improved it. Prior to its arrival the morons and ratchets were never heard from, unless you were married to one or lived next door to one. Now if you waste your life posting on Facebook you see that it is dominated by them, Turtleboy does a pretty good job exposing that fact!

    • True Reality Speaks
      Mirror Mirror
      November 25, 2016 at 10:23 am


  • Sterling Turtle Rider
    November 25, 2016 at 3:11 am

    At least she has a hussle… more than can be said for most of society’s freeloaders.

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