Sports

NESN Is Ruining Boston Red Sox Baseball For Pushing Out Jenny Dell For Dating Will Middlebrooks

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If you’re a Boston Red Sox fan then you know that Jenny Dell is a smoking hot sideline reporter for NESN, who just happened to graduate from THE UMass. She’s also dating Red Sox third baseman Will Middlebrooks.

According to the Boston Globe, she might not be with NESN much longer.

We’re hearing that NESN Red Sox reporter Jenny Dell is being courted by Fox Sports 1. We wouldn’t be shocked if she took the job: It’s a national gig, and it would allow her to separate her work life and personal life. (Dell is living with Red Sox third baseman Will Middlebrooks.) NESN and Dell haven’t commented about the relationship — or about Dell’s future at the station. Multiple attempts to reach NESN’s spokesperson have been unsuccessful. Dell previously worked at ESPN.

Dell Tweet

This is a national travesty. So let me get this straight, NESN could hire anyone they wanted to be a sideline reporter. Probably thousands of people out there who were qualified for the job. But they didn’t pick the lady who went through the Tin Tin Buffet line three times, they picked the gorgeous brunette from UMass. I’ve come to terms with the fact that being hot is a requirement for sideline reporters. If I was a kindly but mediocre woman trying to break into the industry, this would probably rub me the wrong way. But that’s just how it works in America. All in the game yo. All in the game.

Here’s my beef with NESN – you hired a smokeshow reporter because of her looks, and then you’re mad that one of your players starts dating her and you force her out? What did you think was going to happen, and what exactly are you worried about? NESN is owned by John Henry, Tom Werner, and Larry Lucchino. These guys have done everything in their power to make Fenway a dating game show instead of a venue to watch baseball. From 

Sweet Caroline

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to the NESN show 

Sox Appeal

31.sox.span

to the $300 bricks they sold idiot willing to buy them

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they stopped caring about objectivity a long time ago. Henry also purchased the 

Boston Globe 

which essentially turns all Red Sox reporters for that newspaper into state run media.

So are they worried that Jenny Dell can no longer be objective in talking about the Red Sox? And if so, did they forget that they have long preferred reporters who completely tow the company line? Why would they want Jenny Dell to be fair and objective? As fans we don’t need Jenny to be fair and objective. We need her to be perky and pretty. Don’t they know that if the reporters they hire are objective then they might criticize or even make fun of them for leading really, really, terrible chants that end up being epic fails?

 

Easily the most awkward cheer in the history of the world. It’s almost as if they’ve never actually participated in an organized cheer before. Someone please tell Werner that you don’t make a formal announcement that you would like to begin a cheer. You just kind of start doing it and other people jump in. And the “Let’s Go Red Sox” or “Let’s Go anyone” is probably one of the easiest chants you can learn. Anyone who rode the bench in a Little League dugout knows how to start a baseball chant. It requires a little bit of syncopation and using a higher pitch to say “Let’s” and a lower pitch to say “Go.” Listening to Werner attempt to lead the chant is one of the most painful and awkward things a human being can possibly sit through. Also, I love at the end how Lucchino kind of chimes in with an equally terrible “Go – Red – Sox” in a complete failed attempt to bail out his dorky partner.

Rem

So if these guys are basically cheerleaders for the team, why do they have a problem with Dell being one? Do they think she’s going to offer too much opinion when she tells us that Stephen Drew hurt his groin again during a 10 second clip?

This is the same station that pays Tommy Heinsohn to tell us that Jeff Green is the next Larry Bird, and that no Celtic player has ever, ever committed a foul. This is the same network who pays Jack Edwards to right long diatribes about the virtues of anyone who currently dons a Bruins sweater. And those guys aren’t even hot!!

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I don’t want or need Jenny Dell to be objective. I want to see the awkwardness the first time she interviews Middlebrooks after the breakup.

“So Will, if you were able to hit two home runs today, how come you can’t ever lift up the seat on the toilet?”

Ultimately Jenny Dell, Erin Andrews, and the rest of their ilk are completely useless to me as a fan. Never once have they ever provided me with information that I can’t find on Twitter, Facebook, or from the town cryer. She’s basically the Vanna White of the Red Sox. Sure, 

Wheel of Fortune 

could easily just get those letters to turn themselves over, but we enjoy watching the hottest living baby boomer do it in an evening gown. I don’t need Jenny to say anything of any substance at all. I don’t need to hear that David Ortiz just took a massive dump in the Family Bath Center. I don’t care if she ate a giant hot dog in Arlington. I can do without the interview of the fan who threw a piece of pizza in 2007 at another fan.

I don’t really need her at all, but since you hired her for me to look at, why are you getting rid of her now? Come on John, Larry, and Tom. You guys like making money. Getting rid of Jenny isn’t going to help you sell any more bricks. You hired a cheerleader, now let her do her thing.

cheerleader_display_image

Feel free to share your thoughts to keep the conversation going.

 

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7 Comment(s)
  • matt
    January 3, 2014 at 6:07 pm

    Heidi Watney was a thousand times hotter.

    • January 3, 2014 at 6:14 pm

      Disagree a thousand times

    • Joey G
      January 4, 2014 at 4:33 pm

      She’s old too

  • Annalisa
    January 3, 2014 at 3:46 pm

    Onto bigger and better Jenny! Keep on keepin’ on.

  • Joey G
    January 3, 2014 at 2:18 pm

    Obviously the Jenny Dells of the world are completely useless. They are paid sluts (or like Erin Andrews, pay some guy thousands of dollars to take nude pictures of them and then pay them a quarter million dollars to go to jail for it… I don’t care if that is how it happened, that is the only reason anyone knows who Erin Andrews is) who serve no purpose whatsoever other than to fill up time in between plays that used to be full of Sean McDonough and Bob Montgomery or Ned Martin and Jerry Remy bickering about something that Bob Stanley had done several years before. Won’t they just hire some other tramp from (God willing) UMass to talk about things that no one cares about, run the between innings Twitter poll, and perform oral sex on Dustin Pedroia, Ryan Lavarnway, or (she wishes) Dwight Evans on Old Timers Day. She’s getting old anyway.

  • Rich
    January 3, 2014 at 12:37 pm

    The Celtics play on CSNE not NESN

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