Thanksgiving has come and gone which can only mean one thing – Tis the season for single mom “my vaj goblins need Christmas presents” sob stories in your local community Facebook group. Here’s our first one from Falmouth.
You know, I was gonna use a period, you know, to end the sentence, you know, but like, I’m a single Mom who’s struggling paycheck to paycheck, you know, and my kids always expect nice shit, you know, and like, you know, it would be great if they had a bunch of shit from Santa this year, ya know, but like, I don’t wanna buy anything for them, you know, so it would be much better if, you know, a bunch of strangers on Facebook blindly gave me, you know, money, and then trust me to, you know, spent that money on presents and not drugs because, you know, I don’t look like a two bit Cape Cod junkie or anything.
Some will say that you shouldn’t judge a book by its cover. Not me though. I’ve been writing blogs like this for long enough to know better. I am a junkie whisperer. I know one when I see one. I know by the way they write. I know by the kind of people they prey on. So it was the least surprising news ever when I Googled Brienna McVey and found no shortage of Google trophies, starting with this gem from September.
6:45 PM: A one-car crash was reported on the west end of Route 151. The operator, Brienna McVey, 36, was traveling eastbound, crossed through the westbound lane, crashed through a mailbox and ended up on some large boulders, police said. She had fallen asleep and the methadone that she was prescribed was a factor, police said. Ms. McVey was cited for negligent operation of a motor vehicle. She reported arm pain but refused treatment, police said.
Oh good. She’s driving around like a meth zombie, passing out behind the wheel of a moving vehicle, and taking out mailboxes. Goes well with her three arrests form 2017-2018.
Brienna K. McVey, 34, Old Barnstable Road, East Falmouth; unlicensed operation of a motor vehicle on April 15, 2017, in Mashpee; to be dismissed upon payment of $100 in court costs by July 21.
Brienna K. McVey, 34, Old Barnstable Road, East Falmouth; possession of a Class B drug on January 12 in Mashpee; continued without a finding until May 21, 2019, ordered to pay $50 in court costs.
Brienna K. McVey, 34, Old Barnstable Road, East Falmouth; possession of heroin, possession of a Class E drug on March 23 in Falmouth; both charges dismissed upon request of the commonwealth.
So yea, if you give her money she’s gonna spend it on heroin. It’s just what these people do. The telltale sign is when they refuse offers for actual help, give you a bunch of bullshit excuses why, and then ask you to give money to their Venmo instead. Then right on cue….
Wait…..her kid is 17??? Fuck him. He’s old enough to know what a massive disappointment his sperm sponge of a mother is. Trust me, this won’t be the first Christmas Santa came up short. This kid’s likely grizzled as fuck by now and can take care of himself. She knows that, but, you know, wants you to give money to her instead of having him help out, because, you know, that’s not how she’s “raising” her crotch fruits.
She also turned down an Amazon wish list and the 17 year old was the reason why again.
She like, ya know, doesn’t have one because, like, her 17 year old son, ya know, is embarassed and ashamed that his Mom is using his name to beg for free shit on community Facebook pages, and like, ya know, technology isn’t really her thing, cuz like, Amazon is, ya know, really hard to figure out for a 36 year old woman.
What about charities?
Oh fuck off. At least if you’re gonna scam these people come up with a better story than “bureaucratic red tape between the church in Mashpee and the church in Falmouth is preventing them from giving me free shit.” Spoiler alert – she never asked for help from any of them because she doesn’t need it. Toys are no good for her. She just wants money to buy drugs. It’s that simple.
Finally someone just came out and offered.
“I will message it to you right now so it’s not on here.”
“Here’s my Venmo.”
Totally not a junkie.
So get ready because you’re gonna see these people all over the place starting today. Remember that no normal person asks for strangers to save Christmas on Facebook. It probably feels good to help, which I get, but you’re not helping a junkie by giving them money. You’re hurting them. Some of these idiots will tell you that you’re heartless for questioning or “judging” these ratchets, but the people telling you this are the problem, not you.
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