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You gotta read this amazing article in the New York Times. It’s about microaggressions on college campuses and is featured in Worcester at none other than the bastion of SJW nation in the Woo – Clark University. This is what social justice warrior nation on steroids looks like:

A freshman tentatively raises her hand and takes the microphone. “I’m really scared to ask this,” she begins. “When I, as a white female, listen to music that uses the N word, and I’m in the car, or, especially when I’m with all white friends, is it O.K. to sing along?”

Oh sweet Jesus, how much Turtleboy would’ve paid to be sitting in that audience. It sounds glorious. There’s hardly any more amazing sight to see than an 18 year old white girl from the burbs trying her hardest not to make brown people mad at her, and then failing miserably.

The answer, from Sheree Marlowe, the new chief diversity officer at Clark University, is an unequivocal “no.”

Timeout. First of all, the answer is, “It’s America. You’re free to sing along to whatever the fuck you want to sing along to.” But in this situation the answer should’ve been, “no one should use that word.” Saying “no” implies that as a white person, she can’t use this word. But it’s a derogatory and demeaning word. Just because some rappers use it as a term of endearment doesn’t make them any less ignorant for them to do so. 

The exchange was included in Ms. Marlowe’s presentation to recently arriving first-year students focusing on subtle “microaggressions,” part of a new campus vocabulary that also includes “safe spaces” and “trigger warnings.” Microaggressions, Ms. Marlowe said, are comments, snubs or insults that communicate derogatory or negative messages that might not be intended to cause harm but are targeted at people based on their membership in a marginalized group.

Translation – microaggressions are things that we used to call “conversation starters.” Ya see, back in the 90’s when you met a Latino person you could ask them, “do you speak Spanish at home?” Because you wanted to get to know them better. You can’t do that any more though because it’s triggering to the current generation of pussies in college. You can’t ask people questions about their culture because it might trigger them. 

Turtleboy absolutely agrees that it’s important to be respectful of other cultures. So how did we do this before diversity trainings? Simple – we just kind of talked to black and brown people. We were able to develop friendships with people who didn’t look like us without some overpaid “chief diversity officer” telling us how to avoid offending each other. We were just honest and open with each other. I learned things about them, and they learned things about me, and we can all became friends on our own without the help of diversity trainings. Fucked up right?

Among her other tips: Don’t ask an Asian student you don’t know for help on your math homework or randomly ask a black student if he plays basketball. Both questions make assumptions based on stereotypes. And don’t say “you guys.” It could be interpreted as leaving out women, said Ms. Marlowe, who realized it was offensive only when someone confronted her for saying it during a presentation.

Oh OK. Note to incoming freshmen – you’re supposed to ask the Asian kids about the latest dance moves and ask the black kids where you can get the best egg rolls. That way no one will have their feelings hurt. 

And did I read that right? “You guys” is offensive to women now? This is what the parents of Clark students are paying for? Some social justice warrior who gets paid to find new things that are offensive?

Clark, a private liberal arts college that has long prided itself on diversity and inclusion, is far from the only university stepping up discussions of racism and diversity in orientation programs this year. Once devoted to ice cream socials, tutorials on campus technology systems and advice on choosing classes, orientation for new students is changing significantly, with the issue taking on renewed urgency this year as universities increasingly try to address recent racial and ethnic tensions on campuses as well as an onslaught of sexual assault complaints.

Ice cream socials. LOL. Remember when college was fun? I remember getting a handle of Parrot Bay and lip syncing “Mo Money Mo Problems” at my freshmen orientation. That would be a million microaggressions today. But even icce cream socials sound way better than being lectured about how your well intentioned attempts at conversation are actually racist. 

Fresh on the minds of university officials are last year’s highly publicized episodes involving racist taunts at the University of Missouri — which appear to have contributed to a precipitous decline in enrollment there this fall.

Gotta love the New York Times making up lies as it goes along. Missour’s enrollment didn’t decrease because of “racist taunts.” As a matter of fact those racist taunts never actually occurred. The whole thing was made up and based on a series of lies. Missouri lost 25% of their enrollment, and millions of dollars in donations from alumni, largely because Professor Missy Click assaulted a student reporter on camera in order to protect an imaginary safe space on a public campus. 

Don’t let facts get in the way though NYT. 

At the University of Wisconsin-Madison, officials have put together a diversity presentation as a pilot program this year for 1,000 freshmen — whom some colleges refer to with the gender-neutral term first-year students. That program, expected to cost $150,000 to $200,000, follows incidents on campus last year. In one, a racist note was slipped under a black student’s door, prompting Patrick Sims, the university’s vice provost for diversity and climate, to post an emotional video on YouTube titled “Enough is Enough.”

This is what college are wasting their money on. Hundreds of thousands of dollars annually for diversity presentations because some asshole wrote a mean note to another student. Instead of just disciplining that student and moving on, everyone has to be lectured about their white privilege and inner racism that surfaces in the form of microaggressions. Oh well, this pantsuit isn’t gonna pay for itself!!

In August, the University of Wisconsin system, which includes the Madison flagship and 25 other campuses, said it would ask the State Legislature for $6 million in funding to improve what it called the “university experience” for students. The request includes money for Fluent, a program described as a systemwide cultural training for faculty and staff members and students.

Oh good, and the taxpayers are financing it!!! This is why your kid’s school doesn’t have crayons and your roads aren’t plowed. Because your state government is spending millions of dollars at state universities so some assbag, no talent hack can teach a diversity training seminar, because God knows they can’t get a real job. 

But that budget request has provoked controversy. “If only the taxpayers and tuition-paying families had a safe space that might protect them from wasteful UW System spending on political correctness,” State Senator Stephen L. Nass, a Republican, said in a statement issued by his office, urging his fellow lawmakers to vote against the appropriation.

I love this man. God bless you Stephen Nass. Run for President. 

Still, the push to respond to complaints about subtle cultural insensitivity, as well as more overt racist behavior, continues on campuses across the country. About 75 chief diversity officers have been hired by colleges and universities in the past 18 months, according to Dr. Ervin’s organization. Ms. Marlowe, a lawyer who most recently was diversity officer at the University of California-Santa Cruz, was also recruited by two other colleges this year before settling at Clark, a manicured campus of about 3,000 students an hour west of Boston in this heavily working-class city.

See that? She goes from being a chief diversity officer at one college to another. It’s literally all she is capable of doing. Although she may have actually saved Paris a few months back:

That’s what these race pimps do. They talk about racism all the time, and they create it when necessary. Because without racism they are without a job. This is what we call the “racism-industrial complex.”

“What’s an environmental microaggression?” Ms. Marlowe asked the auditorium of about 525 new students. She gave an example. “On your first day of class, you enter the chemistry building and all of the pictures on the wall are scientists who are white and male,” she said. “If you’re a female, or you just don’t identify as a white male, that space automatically shows that you’re not represented.”

No, that space shows you that back in the day only white guys are scientists. Luckily you live in a new day where anyone can be a scientist because America doesn’t oppress anyone. Here’s the most ridiculous part though:

Another subset of microaggression is known as the microinvalidation, which includes comments suggesting that race plays a minor role in life’s outcomes, like “Everyone can succeed in this society if they work hard enough.”

Wait…..what?? A micro-freaking-invalidation? Now they’re just fucking with us. Just making up words to get chief diversity officer gigs. This MORON literally just said that telling students that anyone can succeed if they work their hardest is racist. That happened in real life. It was taught as fact, not as theory, to a group of 525 impressionable 18 year olds who will pretty much believe anything this woman says because she’s the first black person they’ve ever seen in person. Keep in mind, this is what your average Clark student looks like:

So they’ll pretty much believe anything. 

For Clark students like Noelia Martinez, a Massachusetts resident who was born in Puerto Rico to Dominican parents, the session was an epiphany.

“It helped me understand what I’ve been going through all of my life, basically,” Ms. Martinez said, describing how she had endured stinging comments such as “You’re a really good student for a Hispanic.”

But Ms. Martinez, a sophomore transfer student, also realized that she too was guilty of microaggressions, because she frequently uses the phrase “you guys,” she said. “This helped me see that I’m a microaggressor, too.”

HAHAHHAHAHAHHA!!! “Im a microaggressor too” might be the most SJW comment of all time. Truly priceless. Not only are we teaching 19 year olds how they are victims without realizing it, we’re also teaching them that they’re also oppressors!! This is the greatest generation of pussies that has ever existed. 

The presentation elicited a lively question-and-answer session, where students asked about the N word, discrimination against white people and men, and the definition of “Asian.” Ms. Marlowe said she questioned the validity of the concept of reverse racism, arguing that racism is a system in which a dominant race benefits from the oppression of others.

Just take my money. I would’ve paid any amount of money to be there for this. What sucks is that no one challenges these nudniks because they’re all 18 and don’t know any better. That and they’re intimidated because if they do stand up for common sense they will be called a racist. Not a good look on your first day of college. Probably not gonna help you get laid by liberal chicks with loose morals. 

If they weren’t intimidated though, one of them could’ve stood up and told this chief diversity pimp that she can’t make up the definition of racism. It already exists. And nowhere in it does it say anything about a “dominant” race being the only ones capable of racism:

This is just an excuse that assholes use to discriminate against and say racist things white, Asian, and other black people. 

But some students appeared slightly confused. 

“When you use the term ‘self-identify’ as a white woman, are you saying that you can choose your race?” one white male student asked.

“I’ll give you an example,” Ms. Marlowe said. “I went to a conference. I was talking to this man. I thought he was black. I was talking about diversity and social justice.”

“He said, ‘I’m Cuban,’” Ms. Marlowe told the crowd. “I assumed he was black because he was the same skin complexion as me, and the same type of hair.”

How fucking stupid is this woman? And she’s teaching college kids. That’s scary. Hey kids, Cuban people are also capable of being black!! If this woman were smart she would’ve told you that, but she’s not. Ya see, black people live in lots of different countries, even some where they speak Spanish. This woman met a black Cuban man, but the fact that he’s Cuban doesn’t mean he’s no longer black. 

But, Ms. Marlowe said, while it is sometimes difficult to identify a person’s racial or ethnic background based on appearance, she does not believe that gives license to people like Rachel A. Dolezal, the white woman who claimed to be African-American while working for the N.A.A.C.P. in Spokane, Wash. “You can’t say you’re black if you’re not, historically.”

The student still seemed confused.

“Maybe we can unpack it afterward,” Ms. Marlowe told the student. “You want to come see me afterward?”

Hey kids, stop trying to understand this woman. She’s not speaking at your school because she’s smart. She’s speaking because the white people who run your school wanted to feel good about themselves so they hired a black woman to lecture you about diversity and gave themselves 20 SJW points for doing so. If Bruce Jenner gets to be a woman, then Rachel Dolezal gets to be black. Your chief diversity officer has never suffered from oppression. As a matter of fact she has this job specifically because of the color of her skin. It would not be available to a white person. It’s hard being oppressed in America. 

Anyway, here’s an idea – why don’t we just teach 18 year olds that they shouldn’t go looking to find fault in random, well intentioned words? If hearing the phrase “you guys” triggers you and hurts your feelings, then you’re definitely not ready for grownup world.

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