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New Hampshire Chudstuffer Announces On Facebook That He’s Out Of Crystal Meth, Asks Friends To Smoke Him Up, Defriends Anyone Who Comments Without Offering Crystal Meth

New Hampshire Chudstuffer Announces On Facebook That He’s Out Of Crystal Meth, Asks Friends To Smoke Him Up, Defriends Anyone Who Comments Without Offering Crystal Meth

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Every once in a while you need to feel better about yourself. That’s why we like to share stories about ratchets and slugpumps doing their thing on Facebook. Because it will make you realize that despite your struggles, life could be a lot worse. So, if you’re ever feel like life isn’t working out the way you thought it would, just remember this – you could be living in Dover, NH asking people on Facebook if they can smoke you up with crystal meth:

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Brilliant move by a brilliant man:


Some people told James Adams that this was not a wise thing to do. But he made a strong counterpoint:

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Yea guys, chill the fuck out. He only smokes crystal meth one or two times a week. And everyone knows there’s nothing wrong with crystal meth in moderation. Does this look like the kind of guy who has a problem with crystal meth?


Nope. Winners only.

And guess what chumps? If you’re not commenting about where and when you will be meeting up with him to smoke crystal meth, he ain’t trying to hear what you have to say:

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Look, James Adams is a very busy guy. He doesn’t have time for these silly suggestions. Either you got the crystal, or you don’t. If you need him, he’ll be showing off the results of his successful Beachbody campaign with some mirror selfies.


James Adams is a reasonable man. If you don’t have the crystal, that’s OK. But you better come back with an offer about “dropping to lower grade if you got salts to sell”

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Not sure what that means since Turtleboy does not speak Junkienese. All I know is this man right here drives a hard bargain, and isn’t gonna be suckered into no low grade salts.


He does kind of make a good point here, if you insert your own periods and attempt to speak in English:

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He’s 1,000% right about the Facebook names. I’ve always said this. We’ve busted so many people by things they’ve posted on Facebook. But in reality all they really have to say is, “that’s a fake account that someone made to try to smear my good name.” How do they know you’re really the person behind it? I can create a fake Facebook page for anyone I want. Nothing on Facebook is actually real. At least it would be hard to prove that in a court of law.

But unfortunately for James Adams he’s in the Turtleboy Court of Law, where anyone with a flat brimmed hat looking for crystal meth is assumed to be guilty before proven innocent.



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19 Comment(s)
  • John Galt
    March 22, 2017 at 12:07 pm

    Look up slack-jawed in the dictionary, see his photo:

    Definition of slack–jawed
    : having the lower jaw dropped especially as indicating amazement or stupidity “slack-jawed yokels”

  • Honcho
    March 22, 2017 at 9:33 am

    His face screams STUPID!

  • whatevuh
    March 22, 2017 at 5:43 am

    spell it with me: L-O-S-E-R

  • Kerri Bishop
    March 22, 2017 at 12:34 am

    I got what you need, man.

  • El Chapo
    March 22, 2017 at 12:10 am

    Good hobby, always buy the good stuff from the Sinaloa Cartel.

  • Brian Albrecht
    March 21, 2017 at 11:42 pm

    Even I dont fuck with meth. I dont understand how people have time to come down for 2 days… miss me with that bull shit. Not the weymouth way.

  • Turtlerider
    March 21, 2017 at 6:39 pm


    The president of the US is under FBI investigation. Can you write an article on that because the food stamp selling and ratchets on Facebook is getting old to me



    • Ineeda Bath
      March 21, 2017 at 8:44 pm

      Hey Fuckface,

      Go fuck yourself in the colon as you make your way over to CNN or FOX for that asscrap.

      Fuck you

      • Turtlerider
        March 22, 2017 at 3:00 am

        Turtleboy is no stranger to political posts and I’d like to know his opinion in these times

        I think he’s hilarious (even when I don’t agree) and he’s gotta be thinking about this

        • X
          March 22, 2017 at 7:49 am

          Fuck off! go read some articles about it and make your own opinion douche.

  • Duke Westwood
    March 21, 2017 at 4:51 pm

    Yeah… It’s a disease.

    I never heard anybody say “Who wants to go smoke up some lupus.”

    “Anybody wanna sell me some of that leukemia?”

  • nevermind
    March 21, 2017 at 4:29 pm

    Not sure what’s worse – the stroke face or the Laverne DeFazio “L” on his chest. WTF??

  • Agent Smith
    March 21, 2017 at 3:52 pm

    It looks like his Mom was smoking crystal when he was inside her polluted womb. He’s got Fetal Meth Syndrome, either that or he fucking had a stroke.

    • Lt Dan
      March 21, 2017 at 7:35 pm

      Mom cooked herself up a mongoloid

  • I Hate Stupid People
    March 21, 2017 at 3:49 pm

    So I think the Chicago Bulls flat brimmed hat is the preceded hat of loosers everywhere but if they can’t afford that than ANY flat brimmed hat will do. Ya know Turtleboy picking on someone’s disease is not very nice. LOL

    • I need a drink
      March 21, 2017 at 5:11 pm

      If your commentary contains the words “looser” or “loose” by definition of not winning, please refrain from making any comments. It is loser or lose. I believe TB covered this in a recent article.

  • Linda
    March 21, 2017 at 3:22 pm

    Firsties is always best. This tool needs to go back in the shed.

  • Turd Burglestein
    March 21, 2017 at 2:58 pm

    Firsties! Bwahahahaha!!!

    • Jan
      March 21, 2017 at 5:49 pm

      Turtleboy, maybe James can advertise on your page for some crystal meth.

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