Hoodrat Heroes

Newport Lights Hogbeast Lynda Andino Is Calling The Cops, The News, Her Lawyers And The DEA On Us, Just Might Be A Huge Ratchet Herself


Last week we had a run-in with white-trash trailer queen and professional meddler, Lynda Andino, whose face in the embodiment of losing $5 Cashword scratch tickets and unsettled paternity cases.

Guess how many teeth I have and I’ll give you a dollar in nickels!

Lynda became upset that the Gan Rivkah Center in Milford, MA wasn’t immediately stormed by the FBI, SWAT team, ATF and DEA (or whatever grandiose vision she had concocted in her Rubinoff-vodka and ativan-riddled brain) and forcibly shut down immediately upon our series exposing the “shelter” for the shithole money grab that is, because she is a reasonable person with reasonable goals and expectations like that. So she wisely decided to call the MSPCA pretending to be a resident there and claiming she was being held against her will. In other words, she filed a false police report, something we’re just not O.K. with, never have been O.K. with, and never will be. Lunatic Lynda has been on a batshit crazy crusade against Hadassah/Heidi Robeson for months now, in the worst way imaginable.  If you haven’t already, I highly suggest you listen to the hour long phone call she subjected us all to over this past weekend, where she essentially just lies like a dirty, beat-up, discount carpet and insists she did not in fact file a false police report. Spoiler alert: she definitely did.

And admitted it to a shit ton of people.

More than once.

That’s sane.  If you sit around collecting your social security check while you roll cigarettes, smoke blunts and plot to file false police reports, you might be a ratchet, Lynda.

Lynda apparently wasn’t happy with our rejection of her criminally meddlesome bullshit, so she has essentially declared war on Turtleboy, and she’s not playing around. We apparently haven’t gotten up early enough in the morning to fuck with her, even though I’m pretty sure that qualifies as just before 1pm. We’re contending with an unemployed sludgepump with the IQ of a rasinette on Xanax here.


And of course, she’s going to sue us…and win!

She even called the DEA, you guys.

We’re so fucked!

If you are a 60-year old woman whose spelling and grammar makes a fourth grade remedial ELA student look like Bronte, in ALL CAPS CRAZY, you just might be a ratchet.

Sorry to inform you, Lynda you dumpster-diving cheesehog, but the reality is you don’t really know who you’re fucking with here. Not only is my writing and reading comprehension above an eighth-grade level, but I am one vindictive bitch when you piss me off, and ALL CAPS THREATS sure do piss me off. So, let me share with the world, all the dirt you never wanted to know about Lynda Chaplin Andino, the woman who will be taking Turtleboy down once and for all.

Let’s start with the little issue of Lynda’s own living standards, shall we?. Sure, she was outwardly vehemently opposed to living conditions and financials at the Gan Rivkah center, but as it turns out, Lynda has no business criticizing anyone else’s life, because hers is a literal fucking mess. Take her eviction record, for instance.

Whoops, sorry to ruin your slam-dunk lawsuit, Lynda, but yes – you fucking were evicted. Multiple times. In two states.

Pathological liar, Lynda. Look it up. Oh, and Lynda can probably tell you a thing or two about substandard, deplorable living conditions like the ones she’s been wailing and moaning about over at Gan Rivkah….


….Mainly, because she’s a disgusting filthy pig who has done much, much worse. The Blackstone house of horrors is the only other home I have ever heard of that was so filthy it needed to be demolished. What a class of people to get lumped in with, you classless rodent. And for the record, yes – it all checks out. The house really had to be torn down because Lynda can’t figure out how to work a pooper-scooper or a Swiffer mop once or twice before fucking up the entire neighborhood’s property value with the squalor she left her own son and pets in.

 Not the first home she’s left in deplorable filth, either. Good job, Lynda!

If your eviction record looks like the Tuesday morning housing court docket all on it’s own and your housekeeping is so terrible it literally destroys houses and jeopardizes public health and safety….. you are probably a ratchet.

Lynda also expressed a lot of concern for the animals trapped inside the Gan Rivkah Center. Which is more concern for the animals she owns/neglects. On top of leaving them to rot in their own filth and excrement, she doesn’t even both vaccinating them or making sure they’re licensed.

And the safety of children? Please, Lynda doesn’t give a fuck, she already done TOLD you that! There’s also that time that she harbored her fugitive daughter in Maine, after she kidnapped her young child from a supervised visit while in DCF custody.

Telegram: “A woman who allegedly kidnapped her 1-year-old daughter in 2004 and fled to Maine was arrested in town Wednesday morning by state and local police and federal marshals. Licia Andino, 20, of 603 Main St., Apt. 4, was arrested on a warrant charge of custodial interference stemming from the 2004 incident. She is employed at Dozen Donuts in the Mobil station at 712 Main St.

According to Clinton District Court records, Ms. Andino went to 74 Lakeside Ave. on Aug. 21, 2004, for a supervised visit with her daughter, who was in the custody of the state Department of Social Services and living at a foster home. Ms. Andino, who is nine months pregnant, police said, allegedly abducted the child during the visit and fled to her grandmother’s house in Augusta, Maine. She was arraigned Wednesday in Clinton District Court and released on personal recognizance, with her case continued to Feb. 13. Ms. Andino’s grandmother, Linda M. Andino, was in court with her. It was unclear who has custody of the daughter, who is now 4.”

If neglect is a recurrent theme in your life, and you see no issue with your crotchfruit snatching their crotchfruit back from the DCF fairy and hiding out in your dirty trailer…..you are most likely a ratchet, Lynda.

Help me!

Lynda also repeatedly referred to me as a “junkie”, which I regret to inform you is patently untrue. Swing and a miss, which is unfortunate, because Lord knows if someone competent wanted to dig up dirt on me, it’s certainly there. Lynda is not competent, however.

She does seem to know a thing or two about “junkies”, however, as her entire life seems to revolve around smoking herself into a useless stupor,

And she is a confirmed informant, or more commonly known as, a rat bitch.

Being an informant doesn’t make you skilled, smart, or important, Lynda. It makes you a shitbag with less of a backbone than the rest of the shitbags you bum around with. Oh, and there’s this.

If your idea of “working for the government” involves nothing more than diming out half your social circle, and you complain in public that all your friends are currently on heroin…… you are most definitely a ratchet.



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20 Comment(s)
  • Hopedale Blue Raider
    August 28, 2019 at 12:44 pm

    There is no white trash like Maine/Blackstone Valley white trash. So many inbreds. Milford, Northbridge, Uxbridge, Webster. God, surrounded here in Hopedale where they are trying to shake us down with a 2 1/2 override today.

  • Stint penis
    August 28, 2019 at 9:07 am

    I bet she does 5 dollar handys and 10 dollar suckys. A fuck is free if you bring a gas mask for that spoiled tuna trench!

  • Dees nutz
    August 28, 2019 at 9:04 am

    Quick question. Why is she calling the DEA? The DRUG ENFORCEMENT AGENCY?!? That has nothing do do with this story except for the fact she “says” she has 20 lbs of marijuana in her house. So she is burying herself?
    Also I call BS she has even 1 true lb. of weed. If she had 20 she would be selling the shit out of it in dimes to kids who dont know what dank weed is and actually be able to pay rent and a house keeper! Haha

    • She grows hermaphrodites. Nothing but seed
      August 28, 2019 at 2:56 pm

      She said she works for the DEA she is a snitch bitch rat informant.
      She thinks that she works for them. Although working there is a lot different then someone who rats on their connects when they can’t a cuff

  • Panda
    August 28, 2019 at 8:15 am

    I feel like she’s mildly retarded. A product of multiple generations of inbreeding. When she was born the doctors told her Brother-Uncle-Dad his daughter may have developmental issues and they just decided to not tell her. I’m not sure what family member of hers keeps dumping loads in her (I believe she has a son) but please stop. Find yourself another relative to ram your short poker into.

  • Lynda's gross
    August 28, 2019 at 8:14 am

    This woman is a terrible, condescending, dirty, liar with a poor grasp of English. Her weed looks like grass clippings glued to a popsicle stick. You want to talk about breaking laws, Maine caregivers can only have up 8 lbs of dried product (varying stages of dry not all immediately available to sell) and sell 2.5 ounce quantities at a time to a individual. She clearly states she has 20lbs and is looking to sell it (just because it’s shitty, dirty, weed doesn’t mean you get to have/sell more). If you need to advertise to sell weed it means your product sucks.
    Secondly, varieties of cannabis are called strains not strands idiot. Strands are a beach line on a body of water, a length of string/cord or , to ditch some one. Strand is not a variety of marijuana you daft cunt. She looks like the state puff penetrated a pachyderm (of your choice) and popped out a severely challenged heffalump that identified as a woozle.
    Pretty soon Lynda you will be in a rascal scooter, on oxygen, in a home, wondering why no one comes to visit you. Kicking a bee hive in a poison ivy patch is more appealing than visiting you.

    • Dees nutz
      August 28, 2019 at 8:56 am

      Now I dont have to write anything.

  • Brian E. Guilfoyle
    August 27, 2019 at 11:23 pm

    Top of the blog, Lynda has on a gray hoodie, I swear it read “sludge”, as in sludge pump, when I first glanced at it hahahahahaha! What a total ghetto rat skank she is!

  • Judge dread
    August 27, 2019 at 9:13 pm

    Wtf DEA? Like seriously wtf is wrong with this cheese hog.i can see several local LEO’s dropping the investigation cuz TBS is media/press, but the DEA? Yah that’s never gonna happen. Same with everyone else involved. This bitch thinks everything works around her. Isn’t it a crime to call wolf multiple times to local pd and then escalate it to the feds?

    I’m sure if it is t criminal for whatever reason uncle can sue her but she is probably judgement free, so it’s not even worth the money. Maybe use the public defender to hit her with charges if she tries the tribunal route?

  • ncfoothillbilly
    August 27, 2019 at 9:13 pm

    Crazy and dirty (in a disgusting, unclean way) are not good traits to have yet this woman has both in abundance, it would appear.

  • fuckface O'Reilly
    August 27, 2019 at 8:39 pm

    suck my cock ms andino

  • Lynda Andino
    August 27, 2019 at 7:20 pm


  • capone181
    Total Mayhem
    August 27, 2019 at 6:54 pm

    Anyone with a functioning brain can see that Lynda is backing up the Titanic so she can ram the iceberg again.

    She needs to fade back into obscurity, before exhibiting any more episodes of insanity.

    • Kim Wescott
      August 30, 2019 at 2:32 pm

      ‘Backing up the Titanic so she can ram the iceberg again’.

      Pure Gold

  • Lipstickhippie
    August 27, 2019 at 6:51 pm

    Dear Lynda,
    Enough with the caps lock, you brain-dead cunt.

  • Bret
    August 27, 2019 at 6:29 pm

    Every time I think I’m a destroyer of life, Bristol writes a blog, and I feel.like a rookie.
    Well written Madame.

  • Karma Bus
    Ratchetsaurous Rex
    August 27, 2019 at 5:52 pm

    Listen LYNDA. Haha. And turtleboy lives on! #DOnotPOKEtheTURTLE

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