Newton Naniburger Tries To White Knight By Posting Picture Of Dog In Car, Gets Shared 30,000 Times, Doesn’t Realize It’s A Tesla, The AC Is Running, Temperature Remotely Monitored

Follow @TurtleboyNews on Twitter by clicking here

Follow Turtleboy on Instagram by clicking here

Follow and like Turtleboy Sports Returns and Clarence Woods Emerson to keep up with the hilarious turtle rider commentary.

Want to advertise with Turtleboy? Email us at for more information.

If you like free speech and want to support what we’re doing, feel free to donate to the Turtle fund:








Hey fam – if you’d like to support Turtleboy and what we do here, feel free to hit the donate button at the top. We basically have to run this site like a Bernie Sanders campaign now since we’ve been blacklisted by Google and Facebook, due to the fact that rabid SJWs keep reporting our posts. Getting blacklisted by Google is a death sentence for most websites, since it’s much harder to monetize. And we all know the damage Facebook has done. We’re never going to stop fighting for free speech, but in the meantime the best way for turtle riders to fight back is to donate to the cause. Without you people none of this is possible. We love you all. 


It’s that time of the year ago turtle riders – tis the season of “people get publicly shamed for leaving children and dogs in locked cars on 90 degree days.” We have no problem with this in general, as many of these people deserve to be shamed. Kids die and shit when you do that. However, if you’re gonna try to publicly shame someone, make sure you do it right. Not like this guy:

As you can see, the past has been shared almost 30,000 times!! After all, it’s on Facebook so it must be true. And the Facebook mob is giving this jerkwad Turtleboy justice!!

We’ve got the heat police out and about smashing windows to free muh dogs….

And this woman knows it’s a crime because she has a state trooper friend…

Doesn’t get any more official than that.

Except it’s the definition of fake news…..

Of course they could’ve just figured out that the dog was perfectly fine by looking at the license plate on the car, identifying it as a Tesla.

Oops!! When trying to become a Facebook vigilante hero goes wrong!!

Not the first time the Newton Naniburger has taken to the Facebook machine to address a GRAVE injustice….

Yes, that’s right. He contacted the Boston Globe and the Anti-Defamation League because Party City wouldn’t let him use his Christmas decorations 20% off coupon for Hanukkah gifts. It’s almost as if Christmas and Hanukkah are completely different things. What’s next? I don’t get to use my buy one get one free coupon on books of Kwanzaa carols?

It’s all good though because once foiled a terrorist attack in Paris by changing his Facebook filter.

What’s most egregious about this is that he knows it’s a Tesla by now, as thousands of people have posted as such on his page. I saw one posted over 24 hours ago. He knows the dog was fine, he knows he fucked up, and he’s still sending a mob after some innocent Tesla owner because he’s too stupid to keep up with technological innovations.

The bottom line is, it’s good that you care about puppies and shit. But leave the public shaming to Turtleboy. Because unlike the Newton Naniburger, we actually do our homework.

17 Comment(s)
  • Publius
    July 3, 2018 at 8:36 pm

    maybe a real mob should go after Daniel. Just sayin. Price Chopper. Dare anyone to break my window if I leave my dog with a/c on. Double dog dare.

  • TheBigOldDog
    July 3, 2018 at 11:09 am

    Gordon Gekko: That’s the one thing you have to remember about WASPs: they love animals and hate people.

    –Wall Street, 1987

  • deflateddoritodinks
    July 3, 2018 at 9:40 am

    Was trying to sell my house to get out of the hell that Boxford had become with my neighbor blowing his head of after his yard filled with trash bags and , yeah, no enforcement of codes whatsoever. The building inspector’s walking down my driveway,and I hear his screaming and yelling coming from the woods next door, “fucking asshole! How dare you!, etc.” Then I realize it’s my soon to be ex neighbor who has a penchant for building radio shacks with 100 foot antennas and storing big boats in front of her house on a public road against the deed covenants that they were in charge of enforcing (LOL!). It appears that up under the tree in his car with all the windows open there is a dog in the car in the shade for about 30 seconds because all he was just going to do was to hand me a fucking piece of paper and leave. Glad I didn’t own any guns anymore, or I would have blasted off a few rounds at the cunt.

  • whatevuh
    July 2, 2018 at 6:36 pm

    I agree with the person who reported this dog in the car. Unless you’re really familiar with a Tesla, how the hell would you know? Stop bashing the guy, he did the right thing . . . if you think otherwise, you’re a complete and total idiot.

    • Screw PC
      July 2, 2018 at 11:01 pm

      The point is that the police should be called. Adults shouldn’t take a cue from teenagers and take a picture of something and post it online. Did Dan want a bunch of assholes to damage the guy’s car? There’s a reason why there are cops, and there is a reason why we collectively pay taxes to fund them.

      This fuckery is a perfect example of how when moonbat douchebags like Dan handle things like a preteen punk that the idiot mob responds by playing judge, jury and executioner. The Tesla guy was tried and convicted before he even had a chance to see this.

      This mob justice bullshit proves that liberals have an aversion to the administration of law enforcement, and there is no question in my mind that Dan Snitchman here is a Democrat.

      Let the police do their job. The mob doesn’t administrate justice in an orderly society. Why? Because that’s what makes a fucking third world country a fucking third world country. If you turn on the news any night, you’ll quickly notice that we are already going in that direction. We don’t need to assist in the process of American society’s descent into uncivilized chaos.

  • JangoStark
    July 2, 2018 at 6:19 pm

    He deleted it right after I copied this link and went to post it in the comments

  • Screw PC
    July 2, 2018 at 5:37 pm

    Hey Dan, there’s no chance that you pulled the Christmas decoration bullshit so that the company will panic and give you loads of free shit to shut the fuck up, is there? You could have just written the company and maintained some sense of dignity, but you went the socialist mob routine and immediately attempted to attack the business to publicly shame them. The silent majority is pretty fucking sick of you whiny cunts doing that shit over and over again as if the “bourgeois” merchants are going to cave in to your pussy fits. Grow up and be a man, you fucking pillow biter.

    July 2, 2018 at 3:59 pm

    Yes my friend. people really are nuts about animals. I was just watching a YouTube video about people from ny. They go out at night with their dogs to hunt & kill rats. You know the rats that cause all kinds of issues for the city & its residents. i.e. ruining infrastructure, spreading all kinds of nasty shit by biting people and other animals, breeding like rabbits, ratchets & welfare queens as well as living in public drinking water. You would think that people would be happy that they have other people to help combat the rodent issue. Nope not at all. They comments were filled with the, free my rat yo patrol & awww I hope that poor rat didn’t feel any pain when doggo mauled his head off. as well as the, cant we find a humane way to get rid of the rats so they dont feel any pain & are not scared, & the awww I feel so bad for that poor little rat. As well as that’s animal abuse & they should all be in jail waaaawaaa shit. the one I loved the most, rats lives matter, how could you be so evil that you would want to kill those cute poor little rats. God fucking help us all, some people need to just be shot in the fucking head. It’s a fucking rat & honestly who gives a fuck? I bet they wouldnt be crying about the poor rats if they were bitten by one & it started the next plague. Some people are just a special kind of dumb, they should get off the interwebs stop worrying about rats & read a fucking history book or something.

    On another note, I leave my dog in the truck all the time with the windows up & the doors locked. I get nasty looks by people all the time & the comments, I went near your truck and noticed your dog is barking and going crazy in there. He’s going crazy because you left him in there with no air or water. No you fucking moron, my dog is barking and going crazy because you went near my truck. now he wants to maul & rip your fucking head off because you’re near his territory. It’s not because he’s hot or cold or has no water. He actually likes being in the truck! If I try to get him out when I’m running errands & he does not want to come out of the truck. I leave him in there. I’m not going to force him out. Plus we live in a state where you can not always carry your firearm on you, unless youre a criminal! So, because I’m not a criminal, I have to keep it locked in my truck sometimes. So, to deter would be car theifs. I let my dog stay in my truck on his own accord to ward them off. if people were not so worried about being a fake hero & knight in ducttape. you would have noticed the truck running with the ac on & the huge water bowl on the floor.
    I’ll fucking tell you though, if some idiot decides they want to smash my windows out, to save a dog who is perfectly fine & happy in the truck he wants to be in, with out bothering to notice that the car is running with the ac on. I will smash their fucking face in because, i will think they are trying to rob me or hurt my dog & that is just never going to happen. I will never play or be a victim.

    • Car Carrier
      July 2, 2018 at 5:00 pm

      I’ll drive that Tesla up your ass and you will say thank you sir may I have another then somebody else will drive another Tesla up your ass.

      • True Reality Speaks
        Tired of Don't Snitch Pussies
        July 2, 2018 at 11:12 pm

        You spelled Yugo wrong, twat.

    • WeAreFucked
      July 4, 2018 at 7:50 am

      Well I think you’re an asshole for leaving your piece of shit truck running all freakin’ day while you run errands with that pooch who licks the peanut butter off your balls.
      Leave the bitch at home, and turn your truck off. Jj@aol (of course… “@aol”) you get the award for the “TBS Asshole of the Day.”
      “I carry a gun…” WTF for? If you can’t even carry it in the places you go, leave it locked up at home.
      I’m more pissed of at you for being an ignorant fuckmeister by leaving you truck running all day than I am at Trump for being a twat. Ya, I know you support Trump. All fucktards do.
      What an asshole.

    • WeAreFucked
      July 4, 2018 at 7:58 am

      I hope your truck runs out of gas and your lil’ poodle bitch dies while you’re in line at the DMV or wherever the fuck you go. What an asshole.

  • Twatsicle
    July 2, 2018 at 1:44 pm

    David Adelson from Newton was pissed that he couldn’t use Christmas coupons for Hanukkah stuff. Then he’s mad that some random guy has a cooler car than he does so he tries to get its windows smashed.

    The hills are about to be alive with the sound of Nazis.

  • mopey63
    July 2, 2018 at 1:28 pm

    Listen, I love animals, don’t get me wrong (I have them), but when animals are being treated better than humans, cut the shit!! Remember the kid that fell into the lion’s den a couple years back? No regard for the human life, just everyone pissing and moaning about the POOR LION being shot for mauling (or attempting to maul) the child. People are fucking nuts about the animals right now, any animal. They’ve been pissing and moaning about caged animals way before the dems started on the illegals “allegedly” held in cages. Protest that bitches! Ps. Thanks once again TB for proving the point. Freaking nut cases out there going all crazy on someone for having a dog in an air conditioned car. Smdh. Doesn’t the car have to be on to have the AC to be on on? damn! You can’t hear that shit (the car) on when the dog is in there? Get a freaking life!

    • Uncle Randy
      July 2, 2018 at 1:41 pm

      My dick is still out for Harambe.

    • SMH
      July 2, 2018 at 6:13 pm

      People were upset that a animal died because the parent of the child was too busy texting and not watching her child climb into the enclosure. If the parent was doing their job the whole thing could have been avoided.

      • Ratchet Killah
        July 2, 2018 at 10:13 pm

        Yeah that mother was a ratchet poster girl!

Comment on this Post


Nostalgic Facebook Commentators Are Really Pissed Off About Snow Days For Kids
Guy Who Tried Hiding In Tree To Flee Cops on I-290 Earns Moron of the Week Award
Auburn Fan Who Refused To Bet On Florida State Loses Chance To Win Free $25,000 Is Giant Moron