Sports

NFL Swapped Out Balls In Seahawks-Vikings Game Because They Know Cold Air Makes Balls Lose PSI

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So during the Vikings-Seahawks game, this happened:

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Wait, wait, wait. Hold on a second. I thought cold weather couldn’t affect PSI!! I was told that the only way balls could lose air pressure during a game is when Tom Brady text messages the ball boys and they bring them into the bathroom and deflate them in record time with a hidden needle!! I mean, the NFL would NEVER lie about that would they?

What an absolute crock of shit this is. It really is remarkable how some of the dumbest people on earth run one of the most successful and profitable enterprises known to mankind. It’s just so easy to point out how corrupt they are, and they don’t even give a shit. Turleboy Jr. knew something was strange when he saw this headline and he can’t even wipe his own ass.

Sure, we ended up annihilating and emasculating Roger Goodell in court, but at the end of the day Kraft caved and gave them a first round draft pick. This is a football team that has a strong history of nailing franchise players in the first round (Chandler Jones, Donte Hightower, Jerrod Mayo, Nate Solder, Vince Wilfork, Richard Seymour). And we don’t get one this year because science caused balls to lose air pressure. And by swapping the balls out of this game because it was cold, the NFL is admitting that they understand that now.

Of course a transparent league would also measure the PSI of the balls and report them to the public. But we all know that ain’t gonna happen. Meanwhile you have a team in black and orange stripes that acts like SAVAGES on the field, and you can bet not a single player on that team will come close to receiving the same punishment Tom Brady received because science caused his balls to lose air pressure.

Fuck em. Beat Kansas City, beat Pittsburgh, and beat whatever comes out of the NFC.

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7 Comment(s)
  • Eric
    January 11, 2016 at 11:10 pm

    If you haven’t seen concussion go see it. Everything will make sense.

  • Reddog
    January 11, 2016 at 3:42 am

    From coming on

  • Reddog
    January 11, 2016 at 3:40 am

    Fill the footballs with nitrogen. It’s unaffected by air temp. They’ve been putting them in car tires as an option for years now because it keeps that dam light on your dash coming on every cold spell.

    • Tngsucks
      January 11, 2016 at 7:31 am

      Nitrogen is not exempt from gas laws. Air is 80 percent nitrogen anyway. Putting pure nitrogen in your tires make money for the seller.

  • tudor turtle
    January 11, 2016 at 3:01 am

    i like coach bill parcells idea, build a giant nest on the vikings sidelines , put footballs in it , an have the cheerleaders sit on them to keep them warm.

    • BobnMic
      January 11, 2016 at 8:45 am

      In that case – next time I go to a game at Gillette on a zero temperature day. I’m going to disguise my face as a football…

  • BobnMic
    January 11, 2016 at 1:38 am

    I don’t know about any of you guys out there, but last winter, maybe about February, when it became the North Pole around here with the cold temps I had to run to the gas station a lot to put air in my tires because they were going flat. After that I ran to the Tire Warehouse on Grove Street to see if I needed new tires. The crew there told me that this is common with air pressure loss during extreme cold temps and that my tires were fine.

    So I ask, what the fuck is the difference between a tire and a football. They both have PSI settings filled with air and they deflate when it becomes the North Pole. This is more logic than science.

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