All-Star Criminals Nudniks

NH Fugitive Of The Week Kiddie Diddler Signs Up For Saturday Night Karaoke Throwdown At Local Pub, Gets Spotted By A Not-Yet-Drunk-Enough Patron And Taken Down By The Fuzz Mid-Rendition

If you’re ever topping a Most Wanted list somewhere, you should probably lay low, not belt out your best half-garbled “Free Bird” in a packed pub. Just sayin’








Want to advertise with Turtleboy? Email us at for more information, and check out our website about types of advertising we offer.








Holla atcha girl:








SOURCE: CONCORD, NH — A convicted child rapist was having apparently having time of his life at a Bay State bar on Saturday night participating as a karaoke contest until another patron at the pub reportedly recognized him as a fugitive from New Hampshire, according to the U.S. Marshals Service. Ronald Duby Jr., 43, was arrested on June 3, 2017, on an outstanding warrant out of Hillsborough for failure to appear after allegedly failing to register as a sex offender. Duby was featured as the New Hampshire Fugitive of the Week on May 31.

According to Deputy Marshal Jeffrey White, on Saturday night, “an alert karaoke fan” at a Chelmsford, MA, establishment on Princeton Street “recognized (Duby) as one of the contestants singing.

“The tipster contacted the Chelmsford Police Department and Mr. Duby was arrested without incident,” White. “Duby is required to register as a sex offender as a result of a 1995 conviction for aggravated felonious sexual assault on a victim under the age of 13.”

Duby was transported for processing where he was held. He was charged as a fugitive from justice and is due in Lowell District Court today.

“Each week, we are continually impressed by the success of the ‘Fugitive of the Week’ program,” offered U.S. Marshal David L. Cargill in a statement. “The fact is that the willingness of the media to spread the word combined with caring people that take notice of these fugitives often leads to their quick arrests. We are very thankful for your continuous support.”

Duby’s sexual assault conviction occurred in Vermont, according to Nashua Police, who arrested Duby in March 2016, on two counts of failure to inform. According to, he was also arrested on January of this for failure to register after being released on bail. Previously, according to a post on Patch, he was convicted of failure to inform in 2009 and 2012.”

All right, so here we have a career kiddie diddler who over, and over, and OVER AGAIN has failed to register or inform wherever he goes. And he’s out for a night on the town in North Chelmsford, belting out tunes like it’s no one’s fuckin’ business.


But, being ever vigilant in the ‘burbs, some do-gooders at Glenview Pub recognized Raunchy Ron from his cameo appearance on NH’s Most Wanted last week and called in the fuzz to handle him.

I imagine it went something like this:

“OMG Becky, do you see that guy over there?”
“You mean, the one absolutely destroying Bon Jovi right now?”
“YEAH! I saw him on the Facebook machine, he’s a diddler! Brad, DO SOMETHING!”
“Siri… call 911”


BOOM, captured!

I love seeing that little red stamp across the faces of the bad guys. Makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside.


What I really want to know is – you know, the real hard-hitting question – what song was he singing?! Does anyone have video? I feel like I am missing out here, and I’m damned angry about it.


Anyway, Raunchy Ron is just as gross a human being as you’d imagine. While he doesn’t really have a Facebook presence, because, well, the law, his wife does. And she’s an udder babe (see what I did there?)


Here’s the happy couple during their Spring 2016 nuptials:

Because, of course she’d have no teeth. That’s how you land a man who likes his playing field free of grass.

But, she’s proud of her man and she stands by him. She posts lots of pics of him, like this one of him hard at work and hardly working all at once

FREEEDOMMMMMMM! This picture couldn’t be more ironic if it tried. Dude’s a legit registered diddler and here he is, dressed as Lady Liberty, working as a sign boy for Liberty Tax. ‘MURICA!

At least it appears they’re in love, though, and Mushmouth Mary will likely stand by her man ‘til the end of time.

NSTB needs a face-suckin’ love like that. I’m getting all teary-eyed over here. Maybe there *is* hope for me after all.

12 Comment(s)
  • Mark
    January 17, 2019 at 7:16 pm

    I pay a visit each day a few web pages and information sites to read content, except this weblog offers quality based posts.
    viagra without a doctor prescription

  • Wabbitt
    June 9, 2017 at 7:05 am

    I’ll bet he was singing Thank Heaven for Little Girls.

  • Ralph
    June 6, 2017 at 1:18 pm

    I made the mistake of reading this article while eating lunch.

  • Troubled Nostrils
    June 6, 2017 at 10:22 am

    To quote a previous TB blog, “The skin around his eyes looks like the skin around an asshole.”

  • Phatfanny
    June 6, 2017 at 9:38 am

    Dang! I mean DANG!! There’s a match made in heaven!! She can gum suck him to death, like the babe she is. I love the wedding photo … he looks as if he’s thinking, “what the hell have I done?” Too late Diddledumdum, you made your bed … now go and have Lardygirl flop her humongous belly on top of you. (Apologies to anyone who is eating or has just eaten.)

  • Ratchets are fun!
    June 6, 2017 at 8:07 am

    Ohfucking GROSS! Too early for that fat fuck toothless wonder to be on my screen. This is a funny yet ironic takedown though.

  • Kerri Bishop
    June 6, 2017 at 1:05 am

    Kenny Powers really has hit rock bottom this time!

  • Alex See
    June 5, 2017 at 8:24 pm

    I saw “Kiddie Diddler” and figured this was an article about Turtleboy.

    Man, this weblog has fallen THROUGH THE FLOOR!

    He lost a few more advertisers too. I think they’re starting to realize the kind of people who shuffle in here to make them feel better about themselves don’t have any money.

    • Johnny5
      June 5, 2017 at 10:46 pm

      Keep fighting the good fight

  • Fill in the blanks
    June 5, 2017 at 5:57 pm

    was having apparently having time of his life
    participating as a karaoke contest
    Mr. Duby was arrested without incident,” White.
    he was also arrested on January of this

    Jesus, who wrote the article? I need a NH decoder ring.

    • jesus
      June 5, 2017 at 8:25 pm

      I don’t know who wrote the article.

  • Mark
    June 5, 2017 at 3:34 pm

    Fucking gross man. I think my lunch is starting to come up.

Comment on this Post


Nostalgic Facebook Commentators Are Really Pissed Off About Snow Days For Kids
Guy Who Tried Hiding In Tree To Flee Cops on I-290 Earns Moron of the Week Award
Auburn Fan Who Refused To Bet On Florida State Loses Chance To Win Free $25,000 Is Giant Moron