No Boston Olympics Wins Because We Are The Whiniest Bunch Of Massholes On Earth

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So the big news in the last 24 hours is that the Olympics will not be coming to Boston in 2024. Our take on it from the beginning has been the same – we’re 110% for Boston 2024. But unfortunately part of being a Masshole is accepting the fact that you live amongst the whiniest, loud-mouthed buttnuts on the planet. This is what makes Boston, Boston. This is why we can’t have nice things.


The word is Los Angeles is going to make a major push for the games now and over 80% of their residents favor it. Because Boston is pretty much the only American city that would ever reject having the Olympics come to town.

To make it worse we did a whole song and dance just to get them to come here. We beat out a bunch of other cool American cities by hyping up all Boston has to offer. And then when we got it what do we do? Whine about traffic nine years from now.

I-93 is gonna be a pahhhking lot!!! It will take four hours to get here from Braintree on the T!!”

Only in Boston would we turn down the Olympic Games because we fear traffic nine years from now.


First of all, from a Worcester perspective, I liked it even more. For years we’ve been the ones getting fucked out here. If someone can please explain to me why the Mass Pike – the only major East-West highway in the state – has tolls while everyone who lives on the north and south shores gets to drive down 95, 495, 93, 24, and Route 3 for free, that would be great. Because Eastern MA has been getting free shit for years. So no, I could give a shit less if it’s hard to get around Arlington and Woburn for a couple weeks.

The other two excuses I heard a lot is the cost being passed on to the taxpayers, and the infrastructure left behind in Athens has turned into an eyesore. First of all, this is actually the one thing I don’t mind funding with tax dollars. Because it’s a really cool thing. And I don’t mind paying for really cool things.

But please, don’t give me that Athens jive. Don’t let the name “Greece” fool you, it’s basically a third world country. Sure, like two thousand years ago they were the toast of the town, but times have changed. They owe every country on earth a billion dollars. So yea, I could’ve told you that Athens would turn to shit the moment the Olympics left in August of 2004.

Boston’s a real city in a real country though. We’d figure out what to do with the abandoned tennis courts and horse tracks. Just hire Mitt Romney as a consultant. Isn’t this what he does? He figures out a way to make Olympic Games efficient? Worst case scenario we just turn whatever’s left over into casinos. Boom. Problem solved.

Marty Walsh is also taking a lot of shit, but I love me some Marty Walsh. The dude gets it. He wanted the Olympics and pushed for it, but at the end of the day he realizes that he was elected by uptight malcontents and he has to represent them accordingly. Him refusing to sign onto the bid wasn’t his doing – it was the will of the people. And unlike Joe Petty, Marty Walsh has consistently shown that he will do what the people wish him to do.


All I’m saying is, it would’ve been cool. Turtleboy Jr will be a real person in 2024, instead of the savage animal that he is right now. He’ll have things that he likes – riding bikes, running, volleyball, whatever. And all of it will be on a world class stage 45 miles from Worcester. That wold’ve been pretty cool to bring him out to that.

Instead I’ll have to tell him about the time the Olympics almost came to Boston, but the same people who don’t mind the city being shut down by duckboat parades bitched about finding a parking spot in Quincy, so now he has to watch it on TV.


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21 Comment(s)
  • November 21, 2015 at 11:27 am

    I am in fact delighted to read this web site posts which carries lots of useful data, thanks for providing
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  • Nanny
    July 29, 2015 at 7:16 am–spt.html

    “From the outside, I gave up following (the bid’s troubles),” Bach said. “It was pretty confusing. Every day there was a new project coming from Boston or new people and new ideas. I really gave up following it in detail. But what we could see in a nutshell what happened there is that Boston did not deliver on promises they made to the USOC when they were selected.”

    Then this doozie:

    Bach also said he hopes the decision on the next U.S. bid city will involve discussions that are “a little bit more oriented on facts than emotions.”

    The absence of facts and the secrecy of back-room deals is what doomed the boston bid. In other words, the IOC is looking for a town full of sheep and a blank check. Facts schmacts.

  • Wheelwright
    July 28, 2015 at 7:04 pm

    Hey they were going to pay that asswipe Deval Patrick $7500 a fucking day to be the Ambassador for the Olympics and you still supported it? Get into drug treatment.

  • Nanny
    July 28, 2015 at 3:56 pm

    The sentiment I feel against the olympics in Boston is “No taxation without representation.” To sum up my position.

  • marco shark
    July 28, 2015 at 3:48 pm

    TIL TB has no idea about the shadyness of the Olympics in regards to funding, back room deals, and private interests. Also you know, they historically ruins cities. Go ahead and do a google brah,

  • Chris From Georgia
    July 28, 2015 at 3:10 pm

    Smartest move I’ve ever seen to come from Massachusetts!

    July 28, 2015 at 2:34 pm

    You libel Greece! They actually owe every country on earth $2 billion! Euros!

    No Windex for you!

    On the bright side, they get to give it to Germany in the κώλος. (Look it up on Google Translate)

  • Summer girl
    July 28, 2015 at 12:51 pm

    This barely literate author is so sadly uneducated on how much the cost overruns were predicted to be ($400 million +). Some of us do mind funding it with tax dollars. Big mouth lives in Worcester and would not even feel the pain of the games making the commute much worse than it already is. We have a public transportation system that is not reliable. And this page is half advertising and lousy content. What a waste of a blog.

    • The Philistine
      July 28, 2015 at 12:57 pm

      Views appreciated though.

    • Factman
      July 28, 2015 at 1:15 pm

      That unreliable public transportation system you speak of was going to be updated before the Olympics came to town. Good luck w that now.

    • GoneWest
      July 28, 2015 at 2:15 pm

      Summer girl on her high horse. I’m sure you’re super busy right now.

    • Wabbitt
      July 30, 2015 at 4:58 pm

      Odd that the rest of us manage to disagree with some level of civility. You must be one of the angry hippies.

  • Adam
    July 28, 2015 at 12:14 pm

    Gotta disagree with TB. After the debacle of the Big Dig, its clear that this state is not able to construct large scale projects with any hope of meeting budget or schedule. Corruption, lowest bidder philosophies, poor leadership. The Big Dig killed people. We can’t have nice things because we don’t deserve them. Also kudos to the Mayor for demanding that due diligence be done before he’d sign off on it.

    • The Philistine
      July 28, 2015 at 12:56 pm

      146 and the Pike Connector off of Route 20 look like they went well.

    • Factman
      July 28, 2015 at 1:13 pm

      You do realize the big dig was a success right? U ever drive to Logan before the big dig?

      • Adam
        July 29, 2015 at 7:40 am

        The ends don’t justify the means. Billions in debt, fee hikes, toll hikes, tax hikes, people died, corruption, bribes, the list goes on.

  • WormtownorBust
    July 28, 2015 at 11:59 am

    Olympics = irrelevant since the Iron Curtain broke up.

    Let them host it somewhere else.

  • Nanny
    July 28, 2015 at 10:58 am

    Odd that TB would support hack-o-rama olympics. The organizers suck the capital out of host cities and expect us to foot the bill.

    Now if they would guarantee 100% private funding, that would be a different story. But these suckbags wanted to stick taxpayers with the bill.

    Glad the good guys won.

  • Devils Mouthpiece
    July 28, 2015 at 10:54 am

    Have to disagree with your assessment TB. In concept, I’m all for the Olympics in Boston even with the traffic and have to head into the city on business quite often. I was willing to deal with that aspect of the event, assuming we stay in the wretched state which is highly doubtful. It would have been really cool to have this event in and around Boston.

    My issue is with the millions and millions of dollars that will be handed over with back-room deals, corrupt politicians and every other group looking to make a fast buck. There’s too many greedy assholes in this state the would benefit, so send this event packing. I have talked to a lot of other people and they feel exactly the same way, would be great, but this state is way too corrupt.

    The only whiny people are the ones that felt their greasy palms sweating in anticipation of the almighty dollar.

    • Jafreese
      July 28, 2015 at 1:55 pm

      Agreed. That was my issue with it. Along with over budget actual work, it would have been a gravy train for union hacks hiring their family for jobs that aren’t even needed.

  • Nolympics
    July 28, 2015 at 10:25 am

    We don’t want the Olympics hassle because we are already the City of Champions. Real, professional ones. We get to see the top of the athletic heap on the regular.

    And I don’t give a fuck about handball.

    Women’s each volleyball would have been cool, tho.

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