North Koreans Have Been Told That NK Is In World Cup Final Against Portugal, Has Facialized USA And Japan

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A video has appeared online apparently showing North Korea’s state controlled media telling their football fans that the national team have reached the World Cup final in Brazil. We’ve known for a long time now that supreme leader Kim Jong-un controls the flow of information to his people, with the television channels only reporting positive stuff about the country. But in a report posted on YouTube, the media have been caught broadcasting that North Korea are on course to win the biggest prize in football, despite not actually qualifying for the World Cup.

The report says North Korea’s brave side crushed Japan 7-0, USA 4-0 and China 2-0 in the group stages, before going on to reach the final… against Portugal. Of course, the real final, which takes place this Sunday, is between Germany and Argentina. Included in the coverage are ‘highlights’ from the matches, with the team shown scoring goals and cheering – although the clips look pretty old..


So who did the North Korean people think those fans were at the game? Shouldn’t that be the first dead giveaway? Like, none of us are allowed to leave. Ever. What are all those people with North Korean flags doing in Brazil?

Or maybe, how come in that game in which they beat Japan 7-0 the stadium is completely empty?

And who was the Minister of Propaganda that picked the teams they beat? I understand beating Japan 7-0 and America 4-0 – those are the evil empires of freedom. But Red China? Like, isn’t Red China the only thing that North Korea has going for it? They’re like North Korea but they only give a shit about making money. And they return every poor soul who wants to breathe that fresh Red Chinese air and attempts to escape into the mainland.


My question is, where the hell was the 10-0 beat down on South Korea? It’s like, hello? South Korea is basically rubbing democracy and freedom in their face every day. They’re like the hot chick that all the boys want and North Korea is the ugly step sister. People are always trying to escape into there because it’s more attractive. If I’m the North Korean Propaganda Minister then I’m not missing any opportunity I have to make South Korea look like the fat chick. If I’m Kim Jong-Un then I’m executing whoever made that video yesterday. And I’m also executing all of their ex-girlfriends just to send a message.

I guess the only reason they wouldn’t have South Korea in there, is because South Korea is a fictional country that doesn’t exist. “The rebels” would never be good enough to make it to the finals of the World Cup. There is one Korea, and it is the greatest nation that ever existed.


So how exactly are they gonna fake a World Cup game against Portugal? I’m assuming they picked Portugal because even people in North Korea know who Christiano Ronaldo is, and when they defeat him 8-0 it will prove that North Korea is the greatest country on earth. Obviously. That and Portugal beat them 7-0 in a nationally broadcast game at the 2010 World Cup. After that disaster they wisely decided to stick with the propaganda.

But are they gonna hire an actor to play him or something? Because there’s just no way that they possess the technology to put together this masterpiece of propaganda. This is a country that shoots a nuclear missile up their own ass every six months when they try to go big time.


I will say this, I kind of wish the American government did this. If you told me America won the World Cup I’d be happier then watching them lose to a fraud country like Belgium.

This is the most humane thing Kim Jong Un has ever done. Isn’t ignorance bliss? The people over there have nothing. No freedom. No food. No hope. Their country sucks and is a joke at the international level in everything. But in their minds they actually believe this is happening. If I’m living in North Korea this is the best thing that’s happened to me since celebrating the gold medal in basketball at the 2012 Olympics. I’d honestly be pissed at the person who told me it was a lie. Just let these people have this one thing.

North Korea by 8.

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