WTF

Nothing Is More Bills Mafia Then Lighting Yourself On Fire And Being Extinguished With Bud Light

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For whatever reason Bills Mafia loves to destroy perfectly useable tables after getting as drunk as possible before every game. Here’s a couple notable table destructions from today’s tailgate:

This guy right here is every Buffalo fan who has ever lived, ever:

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Guaranteed that guy has used the words, “Tom Brady” and “faggot” in a sentence more times than he has exercised in his entire life.

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But smashing normal tables has almost become played out for Bills Mafia. Some of Buffalo’s finest savages decided to kick it up a notch for today’s tailgate before the Jets game, and lit their table on fire before jumping on it. The problem is that Buffalo fans apparently don’t understand how fire works, and didn’t have a back up plan when this savage can’t get the flames off of his smoldering, Godless body:

Suppose you’re from Buffalo and your back is on fire – what do you do? Stop drop and roll? LOL. Pussy. Sounds like something Tom Lady would do. Oh no, in Buffalo they just jump right back into the flames:

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And in Buffalo, this is what they call a “fire extinguisher”:

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When in doubt just run over to the Bills Mafia bus:

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The best part is that pretty much no one tried to help this guy. People just kept right on filming, except for the two or three good samaritans who were brave enough to sacrifice a Bud Light for this guy’s life:

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That face you make when your back is literally on fire and no one is helping you:

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I guess someone must’ve seen this video posted earlier, so when this guy tried to walk across a burning bench, his friends were a little bit more prepared:

Turtleboy has been to Buffalo a million times before so none of this is the least bit surprising. Evolution doesn’t happen in Buffalo. It’s the same reason why 99% of Bills fans wear jerseys of players who are no longer on the team – because no player wants to stay in Buffalo for a minute longer than they have to. In this video alone we had a Doug Flutie:

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Marshawn Lynch:

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Freddie Jackson:

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and even a Ryan Fitzpatrick – the quarterback they were playing today:

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Don’t worry though, because just like every year, Bills Mafia is optimistic because they are convinced that NEXT YEAR is DEFINITELY the year that God finally stops punishing them for being terrible savages:

I pray to God we get a December game in Buffalo next year. We haven’t had a cold weather game there in forever. We’ll be there to remind them that God loves the five time Super Bowl champions more than them and that won’t be changing no matter how many members of Bills Mafia light themselves on fire.

 

 

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4 Comment(s)
  • Jacob
    January 4, 2016 at 11:39 pm

    no excuse for the savagery depicted above but your point about the old jerseys is just moronic and a terrible attempt degradation.

    For starters- every player depicted either was released or traded by the Bills so out the window goes your argument they left as soon as they could by choice. Secondly a Flutie jersey is no different than any other team sporting jerseys of a local fan favorite from years past. In fact it’s a staple at every stadium to see former players jerseys being donned- I sat behind a Pats fan in Buffalo this year, as a matter of fact, sporting a Corey Dillon jersey. Of course, that’s fine, right? Lastly, nice try on the idea that everyone wants to get out as soon as they can- you know considering the fact that there are countless former players who decided to live here after playing here and many more who still return on a regular basis.

    Make fun of the Bills for being awful of the fans for their debauchery all your Want. But to make fun of the city ? Yeah last I checked your from Worcester, so try not to throw stones when your house is shit stained glass.

  • Bills Suck
    January 4, 2016 at 11:29 pm

    As a Bills fan these people are such an embarrassment. A couple of videos and it’s now obvious that they’re staging ridiculousness in the hopes of being on barstool and wherever else. It’s a bunch of eastern suburbs trash who show up because it’s a party, because tickets are affordable, because we suck. I can’t wait for Pegula to build a stadium downtown so the tailgating is contained like a normal stadium and the tickets go up so these animals don’t have the space to get this embarrassingly wild, and probably won’t have the money to attend a new stadium anyhow. Imagine if they ever start not sucking ? Then these idiots certainly wouldn’t be able to afford tickets.

  • MS
    January 4, 2016 at 7:04 pm

    You should stop calling them the Bills Mafia. It is an insult to the real Mafia.

  • tudor turtle
    January 4, 2016 at 10:11 am

    would someone give rex ryan the vine footaage as an idea for training camp.

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