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For whatever reason Bills Mafia loves to destroy perfectly useable tables after getting as drunk as possible before every game. Here’s a couple notable table destructions from today’s tailgate:
This guy right here is every Buffalo fan who has ever lived, ever:
Guaranteed that guy has used the words, “Tom Brady” and “faggot” in a sentence more times than he has exercised in his entire life.
But smashing normal tables has almost become played out for Bills Mafia. Some of Buffalo’s finest savages decided to kick it up a notch for today’s tailgate before the Jets game, and lit their table on fire before jumping on it. The problem is that Buffalo fans apparently don’t understand how fire works, and didn’t have a back up plan when this savage can’t get the flames off of his smoldering, Godless body:
Suppose you’re from Buffalo and your back is on fire – what do you do? Stop drop and roll? LOL. Pussy. Sounds like something Tom Lady would do. Oh no, in Buffalo they just jump right back into the flames:
And in Buffalo, this is what they call a “fire extinguisher”:
When in doubt just run over to the Bills Mafia bus:
The best part is that pretty much no one tried to help this guy. People just kept right on filming, except for the two or three good samaritans who were brave enough to sacrifice a Bud Light for this guy’s life:
That face you make when your back is literally on fire and no one is helping you:
I guess someone must’ve seen this video posted earlier, so when this guy tried to walk across a burning bench, his friends were a little bit more prepared:
Turtleboy has been to Buffalo a million times before so none of this is the least bit surprising. Evolution doesn’t happen in Buffalo. It’s the same reason why 99% of Bills fans wear jerseys of players who are no longer on the team – because no player wants to stay in Buffalo for a minute longer than they have to. In this video alone we had a Doug Flutie:
and even a Ryan Fitzpatrick – the quarterback they were playing today:
Don’t worry though, because just like every year, Bills Mafia is optimistic because they are convinced that NEXT YEAR is DEFINITELY the year that God finally stops punishing them for being terrible savages:
I pray to God we get a December game in Buffalo next year. We haven’t had a cold weather game there in forever. We’ll be there to remind them that God loves the five time Super Bowl champions more than them and that won’t be changing no matter how many members of Bills Mafia light themselves on fire.
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