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Nothing Is More Un-American Than Banning Fanduel And Draft Kings

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ESPNNevada, the state most known for gambling, ruled Thursday that daily fantasy sports is a form of gambling and will require a license to operate in the state.A.G. Burnett, chairman of the Nevada Gaming Control Board, said all unlicensed daily fantasy activities must cease and desist as of Thursday. Operators could be invited to apply for a gaming license. Those who do not comply could face felony fines and 10 years in prison.

“We are saying that daily fantasy sports are a gambling game under the statutory definition,” Burnett told ESPN on Thursday night. “We’re also saying that these are sports pools, which is when someone is in the business of accepting wagers on sporting events through any system or method of wagering. We have found that it is a wager, and obviously, it’s on a sporting event, and DFS companies are in the business of accepting those wagers.”

FanDuel, one of the two most prominent daily fantasy operators, said in a statement released Thursday night that it is “terribly disappointed that the Nevada Gaming Control Board has decided that only incumbent Nevada casinos may offer fantasy sports.”

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Just wanted to take a moment to point out what absolute bullshit this is. This is how corrupt our government is. They see two entrepreneurial startup companies providing a service that people want and making a shit ton of money in the process, and they have to get their dirty hands all over it because they’ve promised so many other people things that they can’t pay for.

Fanduel has changed fantasy sports for me forever. I used to love having a fantasy team, but now I just have one out of tradition. I barely pay attention to it. Because Fanduel is a MILLION times better. The fact that I drafted a chump like Demarco Murray and now I’m stuck with him for 16 consecutive weeks takes all the fun out of it. I want a new team every week. So I make 20 different teams every week and play in 20 different kinds of leagues for all different types of prizes. My Sundays are one of the most intense, dramatic experiences as a result of Fanduel.

What I’m most upset about is that I didn’t come up with this idea first. I mean, how hard was this develop? You pay for servers and a couple employees and then you make billions. Where do you think they’re getting all this money for advertising from? I wish I knew more about the Internet machine because I would just undercut them. They take 10% from your entry fee. I’d take 5% and still make millions. Get me a nerd!!

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I understand why this happened in Nevada. The state is run by the Nevada Gaming Control Board, which is more powerful than the mafia. Casinos are the only entities allowed to make money in that state.

But Fanduel and daily leagues aren’t gambling. I make bank playing because it allows you to use your brain to place wagers. Throwing $20 on red is gambling because you have no control over where that ball is gonna land. But you know if you have a tight end going against the Raiders or a defense going against the 49ers, that you’re gonna have a much better chance to make money off of your investment.

Here’s my question – if Fanduel is gambling then how is the stock market legal? I’ll never understand that. You take your money and you give it to a broker who puts it into a mutual fund. It might disappear and it might double up. More than likely you will make money over time because that’s why brokers have jobs. But nonetheless it’s still a gamble, albeit an educated one. So basically what they’re saying is, it’s OK to risk your retirement by investing your money into a 401K, but it’s not OK to take some side cash and invest it into an imaginary football team. Makes sense.

But at the same time, Fanduel and Draft Kings deserve this. They’re rolling in dough and they forgot to do the one thing that matters most – pay off the politicians. I mean, welcome to the mother fucking show fellas. You think you’re gonna make billions of dollars and the government is just gonna let you do it without a pay off?

All I’m saying is this. Any politician in Massachusetts who so much as raises this issue is going to become public enemy number one of Turtleboy Sports. I can picture Tracy Novick doing this, which is why we need to eliminate her in November.

We urge you to support the Turtleboy Sponsors by doing business with them. Without them none of this is possible: Wormtown BreweryUnion TavernScavone PlumbingMichael GaffneyBennie’s CafeCraftech RestorationJJM InsuranceSmokestack Urban BarbecueAttorney Michael ErlichH-S Trading FirearmsSmitty’s TavernJulio’s LiquorsHomeWarrantyReports.comThe Gun Parlor Range3B AutoPepe’s RestaurantFiresafe Chimney ServicesAttorney Anthony SalernoNorth End Motor SalesMass Fury

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2 Comment(s)
  • scrapdogg
    EnragedChihuahua
    October 18, 2015 at 9:10 am

    I doubt it will go away I mean this looks to me like an untapped online pinata of much needed taxes and fees that has been so profitable for so long that it would be downright stupid to turn your back on all that easy green but the govt has tried to do dumb things before remember when interim gov Jane Swift tried to change the payout percentage on our beloved scratch tickets? I cant say I miss her either…

    There is no way in hell online fantasy sports betting will continue the way it is and I blame Jason Robbins and Nigel Eccles for their failure of imagination in that they could not see they were ripe for a scandal like the one that transpired. With all their wisdom and innovation these brilliant entrepreneurs failed to see that any employee with unlimited access to customer betting data would have a significant advantage over all other players should they use that data to make bets at the rival site. They dropped the ball by not regulating themselves and now they got some real problems with outside govt regulation and more importantly their customer base I mean if a gambler thinks the game is rigged… Game over man.. game over.

    This is why any type of control or governing body comes about kids. First there’s a vacuum, then there’s a gold rush, followed by a period of delicious unbridled wild west good times, and then BOOM as if on queue some insane genius does something so outrageous or makes way too much untaxed profit that the govt has to step in and tax, regulate, create hack jobs for their friends, all to “ensure integrity” of a market. Until the scandal broke this was not a hot button item for most politicians outside of Nevada hell I bet most around here didn’t know what a DraftKing or FanDuel was until last week. These politicians only see whats directly in front of them for the most part and wouldn’t you know it bam… headlines… and now this “crisis” was hand delivered to them by non other than a current employee of one these now embattled betting sites like I said.. they did it to themselves and what they did was egregious.

    Understand that what that employee did was not simply like working as a cocktail waitress at the Tropicana and walking across the street after shift to the MGM Grand for a few pulls on the one arm bandit when your boss aint lookin no… this involved profiting off of an entire body of knowledge from thousands upon thousands of players. This is akin to going in the back room at the Tropicana, breaking a progressive machine down to its individual parts, recording all the symbols and weights of each wheel, studying the history of payouts from the beginning of time till the present, feeding that aggregate of data through a quantum computer, an abacus and lotus 123 to calculate approximately how many pulls it takes to win the big prize, and then walking across the street to the MGM which uses the same damn machine. Its not a fixed fight, a crooked zebra, or a locked in point spread… but its pretty damn close and close is enough.

    We want the illusion of fairness when we engage in gambling be it casinos, scratch ticks, cockfighting etc but we all know that it in the spirit of keeping the game fair govt will always manufacture their need to fill more hack jobs in this case gaming control which will necessitate the need for more tax and fee revenue from the gaming sites and players which will mean smaller payouts for you and me. It is destined to happen I am just glad it did not happen during the delicate infancy of the business when it could have been eradicated and gone forever. I have faith they are not going anywhere.

  • juror seven
    October 16, 2015 at 8:28 pm

    Next they’re coming after the office super bowl pools.

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