Remember these winners?

The Tapioca Tornado and Make a Wish Eminimem. The hottest up and coming rap group in Rhode Island (which is like being the hottest chick at the Super Chinese Buffet on a Wednesday afternoon) known as “War-raq” rappers went viral again with a new “rap” video shot in their suburban backyard, so you know they hood.

If the coronavirus was a rap group, that would be it.

I’m still holding out hope that this is all parody. But I’m afraid this appears to be all too real. You know shit is going down when Obamaphone Thugs n Harmony is blatantly disregarding social distancing guidelines.

But if you’re gonna make a hardcore gangsta rap video, you should probably keep your masks at home.

If “Yo can I bum a cigarette?” had a face.

Someone might wanna tell these guys that you can’t be gangsta in the suburbs if you’re following an order from Gina Raimondo. And what is up with the new BLT-123 backup dancer Junkie Jim Morrison with the librarian frames who kept his hands in his pits for 90% of that video? Who wore it better?

Apparently Make a Wish Eminem got benched and replaced with the newest member of the group Shampoo Shamus, who emerged from the rape shed where he is held captive by Billy P.

And in War-raq tradition he also read his scripted abortion diss track off of a cell phone while being dry humped by the Tapioca Tornado.

Save some pussy for the rest of us fellas.

And yes, those are $1 bills, which add up to the street value of his outfit.

That face you make when you’re picking up court ordered trash along the highway and your probation officer isn’t looking.

The leader of the Pube Tang Clan apparently wanted me to blog about it because he messaged me on Saturday night to let me know that I’m a loser who will never be relevant like him, and he’s mad that I offered him a “fake deal.”

I think it’s clear at this point that they actually think this is good, which makes it so much better. Obviously I had my time, but now it is their’s. I hope one day to be as relevant as they are and produce award winning rap videos from my fenced in, suburban backyard.

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