WTF

Obviously Harambe The Gorilla Had To Be Put Down When He Dragged That 4 Year Old Boy At The Cincinnati Zoo – Obviously

 

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Everyone has been talking about this gorilla named Harambe who was killed in the Cincinnati zoo after violently dragging a four year old boy who fell into the gorilla exhibit. If you haven’t seen the video yet, it’s insanely frightening:

Ho-lee cow. When I see stuff like this it make me wonder how Robin Williams survived all those years in the jungle in Jumanji.

According to the Daily Mail, “the small child said he wanted to get in the water before the incident, to which the mother, who was also watching several other children, replied: ‘No, you’re not, no, you’re not,’ according to one witness Kim O’Connor.”

Our thoughts on this are simple – it was a tragic situation that never should’ve happened, but OBVIOUSLY they had to shoot the gorilla. Obviously. You can blame the mother all you want for “negligence,” and you certainly have a point. But once that boy was in the moat, and once that gorilla started dragging him around like a rag doll, there was only one thing that mattered – ensuring the boy’s safety. Anyone with a child would feel the same exact way if it was their kid in that pit. You shoot first and ask questions later. The gorilla’s death would be tragic, but five years from now no one will be visiting his grave and crying about it. That child’s death would’ve been a tragedy of epic proportions. The only way to ensure the safety of the child was to put down the gorilla. It sucks, but it is what it is.

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If you have a four year old boy, then you know that they are reckless, dangerous creatures who are CONSTANTLY looking for ways to commit suicide. That’s all four year old boys do. It’s your job as a parent to make sure they are not successful. But the fact of the matter is that this happened very quickly, and despite the fact that the mother specifically told him not to several times, he ignored her and did what he wanted to do anyway. Because that’s what four year old boys do sometimes.

The Internet’s rage has collectively turned towards the mother, Michelle Gregg, for allowing this to happen. Let’s check out some of these reasonable opinions on the matter:

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First of all, the parent didn’t “drop their kid in there.” They told him not to but he went in anyway, because he’s a four year old boy. Secondly, the gorilla isn’t as dangerous as a lion? Is this a joke? It’s 400 pounds of raw muscle. It’s a wild freaking animal and it hasn’t taken a course on concussion protocol. Was he planning on eating the child? Of course not. But the fact of this is NOT a Disney movie. Even by trying to protect the child and do what comes naturally to him, Harambe could have killed him in an instant.

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Oh yea, the child wasn’t in danger or anything like that. Sure, the gorilla took him on a 30 mph ride through a shallow moat while he screamed in horror. But he was perfectly safe the entire time. Yea, that’s what happened.

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Newsflash – they are trained, and they did exactly what they were trained to do. Have you ever been to Cincinnati? I’d rather be dead too.

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English please.

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Yea, that’s what they were doing. They were texting. Because everyone is always texting.

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This makes no sense? Really? How dumb do you have to be for this not to make sense to you? Why was the animal being held accountable? I dunno, maybe because he violently dragged a four year old around a stone zoo exhibit. That might’ve had something to do with it. Not sure, we’ll get back to you on that one.

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I love how everyone is a gorilla expert now. Almost as much as I love how everyone is a tranquilizer expert now. Newsflash – tranquilizers are not instantaneous. When animals get tranquilized it takes some time for it to get into their system before they are knocked out. In the mean time, what did you thin that gorilla was gonna do? Give the kid a bubble bath? Read him a book? No, he was gonna lose his mind and probably knock the kid out on accident. Duh.

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He was “carefully” looking after the child? Yea, because I know that when I’m “carefully” looking after Turtleboy Jr. I grab him by his hair and drag him around the Blackstone Canal.

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Yup, that seems like a reasonable thing to say.

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Oh yes, you’re so saddened by the death of this gorilla that you’ve decided to profit off of it. Yup, you’re not a complete fraud or anything like that.

Anyway, we don’t all know the whole story. If Mom and Dad were completely ignoring the kid and he jumped into the pit, that’s one thing. But from what we’ve read the mother had other children with her, and as anyone with more than one kid knows, shit happens sometimes. Right when Turtleboy Jr. started walking, I lost site of him in the house for 15-20 seconds. Couldn’t find him. I go over to the stairs and he’s already climbed them all. Do you realize how shitty you feel as a parent when that happens? What if he had fallen? I didn’t even know he could climb a stair, never mind a whole flight of them. If he had fallen right before the top, I’d be the Internet villain Dad.

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There are close calls in American households almost every single day. I can’t count how many times I’ve stopped Turtleboy Jr. right before he got the bright idea to run into the middle of traffic after a ball, go sledding down a flight of stairs, or stick a fork in the toaster. Seriously, I feel like 99% of parents have saved one of their children from immediate death right in the nick of time. It’s a parenting instinct. Unfortunately this was one of those times where the parents didn’t react in time. I simply cannot blame these parents in good conscience, knowing how many time Turtleboy Jr. has come close to killing himself.

The only thing I will say is this – no freaking way am I just standing there watching that gorilla drag my kid around. I’m in that pit in a split second. It’s just instinct. You can’t stand there and watch your kid get killed. Can’t do it. So I guess that’s my only question here – why didn’t Mom or Dad jump in the pit?

 

 

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44 Comment(s)
  • July 13, 2016 at 11:29 am

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  • Aidan's Big Headed Daughter
    May 31, 2016 at 2:49 pm

    The gorilla could’ve used Aidan Kearney’s daughter’s big ass head as a basketball! Obviously, it cant now. It would’ve been entertaining to see. You’re a reasonable person Mr. Kearney. You understand this.

  • Wabbitt
    wabbitt
    May 31, 2016 at 12:13 pm

    The problem is that people attempt to anthropomorphize animals. News flash – the gorilla has no sense of human morality. It wasn’t caring for the kid; it was dragging him around like a rag doll.

    No matter what, the gorilla was fucked from the second the little bastard climbed in. Either he gets killed right off, or he kills the kid and then gets killed.

  • MommaH
    May 31, 2016 at 9:45 am

    I don’t know if anyone else picked up on the conflicting statements: Well first the story was that she was taking a picture. Later on, the story was changed to “she was comforting her other child who was crying”. Doesn’t make it look good for the parents sake. Just wanted to throw that out there.

  • MommaH
    May 31, 2016 at 6:35 am

    If that was my kid, and I do have more than one, I would have taken all the kids away from that area right away. I am sure this woman will sue the Zoo and will live happily ever after.

  • girlygirl
    May 30, 2016 at 10:05 pm

    This should have been a perfect example of natural selection–in this case the variable traits are intelligence and parental care. The parents (probably with low intelligence) bred a child of extremely low intelligence, who ignored directions and put himself into a life or death situation. At that point, nature should have taken its course. If the parents cared enough to jump in and retrieve the child, they should have. If the kid died, so be it. The people who intervened and shot the gorilla disrupted the system. Now the kid will grow up and reproduce and create more offspring who display poor parental care and low intelligence, an the cycle will continue.

    • BobnMic
      May 30, 2016 at 11:45 pm

      Ok well I’m not all together on board with that analysis per se but it is good news that the child is ok thank God. GLM vs. a human being? No brainer. Gorilla loses every time.

  • TDF
    May 30, 2016 at 10:00 pm

    OH, I have one for you, this is hands down the DUMBEST thing I saw written about this that came across my Facebook feed today. Seriously WTF is this guy on.

    “ANIMAL LIVES MATTER”…!!!

    I’M STILL UPSET THAT THE CINCINNATI ZOO SHOT & KILLED “HARAMBE”, THE MAGNIFICENT 17 YEAR OLD GORILLA WHO SUDDENLY FOUND A 4 YEAR OLD CHILD IN HIS CAGE. WHY IS A HUMAN CHILD’S LIFE DEEMED MORE VALUABLE THAN THE LIFE OF AN ENDANGERED GORILLA SPECIES…??? I’M SERIOUS…!!!

    “MAMA IRRESPONSIBLE” CAN HAVE ANOTHER CHILD. IN 9 MONTHS AND 4 YEARS SHE’S GOT BACK WHAT SHE LOST, THROUGH NO ONE’S FAULT BUT HER OWN. HOW DO YOU REPLACE “HARAMBE”…? WHERE DO YOU FIND ANOTHER GORILLA OF HIS UNIQUE STRAIN AND STATURE…? 17 YEARS OF HIS LIFE THROWN AWAY, WHY…? BECAUSE HUMAN LIFE IS SO SUPERIOR TO THE LIFE OF THIS ANIMAL…? HALF THE COUNTRY IS GOING TO VOTE FOR RACIST DONALD TRUMP. ISIS IS CHOPPING OFF HEADS IN THE MIDDLE EAST. SYRIAN REFUGEES ARE DROWNING IN THE MEDITERRANEAN. I’M NOT VERY IMPRESSED WITH HUMANITY…!!!

    AND THIS IS NOT THE END OF THIS TRAGEDY. THE FEMALE GORILLAS AND THEIR CHILDREN HAVE LOST THEIR MALE PROTECTOR, THEIR TRIBAL LEADER, THEIR MATE. YOU CAN’T JUST THROW ANOTHER MALE GORILLA INTO THE CAGE AND EXPECT THE FEMALES TO ACCEPT HIM AS THEIR MATE AND PROTECTOR. THEY WILL ALSO PAY A PRICE, ONE WE’LL NEVER LEARN OF…

    HUMANITY MUST THROW AWAY THE BOOK OF GENISIS AND TOTALLY REEVALUATE THEIR RELATIONSHIP TO THE OTHER BEINGS THAT WE SHARE THIS PLANET WITH. THEIR LIVES ARE SACRED TOO…!!! :'(

    • JenB
      May 31, 2016 at 8:22 pm

      Unfortunately, there are many more just like this guy. My sister-in-law is one of them. The only way I survive family visits is alcohol.

  • Jeff S
    May 30, 2016 at 7:15 pm

    Throw the old lady in the pit.

  • PG
    May 30, 2016 at 3:51 pm

    I love how the heading of the article sounds sarcastic, as if turtleboy is going to write about how the gorilla shouldn’t have been shot. After the header is the poll question, and as of the time of this comment, it’s about a 2 to 1 ratio saying the gorilla shouldn’t have been shot. Then the article says under the circumstances the gorilla should have been shot, and most of the comments agree. Either someone is trolling the vote count or people are voting based on the seemingly sarcastic title without knowing all the info, not reading the article, or not objectively looking the info up themselves

  • Crocodile Hunter
    May 30, 2016 at 3:25 pm

    Blimey! I hope the child is alright. As a rule kids the only thing more dangerous than swimming with Crocs and Gorillas is having an irresponsible parent. This is the type of mom who if asked if she’s ever been picked up by the fuzz she would say no but I’ve been swung around by the tits a few times.

    • Cocomom
      May 30, 2016 at 8:24 pm

      @crochunter, omg, I’m laughing so hard I think I broke something..

  • Servo1969
    May 30, 2016 at 2:34 pm

    My favorite part of all of this is that Black Lives Matter is saying the gorilla was just like them.
    Seriously. And they are just like him. They are just like the gorilla.
    ….
    ……
    I know, right?

  • kingsraisins
    May 30, 2016 at 2:09 pm

    The entire incident is a good example of how much people can suck. It’s the mom’s fault for not keeping tabs on a four year old at the zoo-in Cincinnati of all places. Next the zoo shoots the animal, which is sad, but not totally uncalled for given the situation. But the worst part out of all of this are the huffpost reading morons who come out of the woodwork to decry the lack of animal rights and profit via save the whale type merchandise.

    • LLC
      May 30, 2016 at 2:52 pm

      Exactly.

      Although, I try to avoid reading comments on other sites…my BP elevates to stroke levels & I feel like fleeing the planet.

  • PG
    May 30, 2016 at 1:20 pm

    I invite everyone to join my animal group named PETA. People Eating Tasty Animals.

  • MemorialDayBBQ
    May 30, 2016 at 1:04 pm

    How many hamburgers are being consumed at this very moment? I know, I know, gorillas are more special than cows. Moo!

  • Joe Max
    May 30, 2016 at 12:54 pm

    Another example of parents who should not own a dog, never mind a kid. Any parent with a half-a-brain knows, to keep their kids close to them in public. Especially at a zoo. Also, how can the enclosure not be secured properly ? With enough of space to have a kid get into it. The zoo has to be responsible for that one. Getting back to the parents, they should be prosecuted for child neglect at the minimum !

  • Eric
    May 30, 2016 at 12:43 pm

    I get that she had more than one kid to attend to, but if one of your kids is trying to do something INCREDIBLY dangerous, then most of your attention should shift towards that kid.

  • lottie
    May 30, 2016 at 12:34 pm

    Your summary of the behavior of 4 year old boys is spot on. Spot. On.

  • roy_batty
    May 30, 2016 at 12:26 pm

    These are clearly wannabe animal SJWs. One should only use Harambe’s first name when writing about him and never call him a gorilla, wild animal, beast, etc. Helpful if you mention his usurped rights, that he was turning his life around, and planned to go to school in the Fall too.

  • paul
    May 30, 2016 at 12:21 pm

    Here is a novel concept…..blame the friggin parents for being idiots. And sadly yes the gorilla had to be put down to save the child…does the term WILD ANIMAL mean anything??? Very scary and uncontrollable situation. Now had the zoo just tranqued the gorilla and it turned on the kid, then what…law suits up the ass for the zoo because the childs parents are a waste of oxygen and shouldnt have bred

  • Incog'nita
    May 30, 2016 at 12:19 pm

    Last night there were over 30k signatures and probably more now, on a petition on change dot org to charge the mother with both child neglect and endangered animal act.

  • FiestyLawyerLady
    May 30, 2016 at 12:07 pm

    Word on facebook is this woman has had her kids taken away from her by DCF twice now. These are people have have her on their friends list.

    Not making excuses because the child’s safety comes first, but if you have your kids taken away by dcf, chances of you not paying attention to them at the Zoo are high. She is sitting there “talking” her kid through it. I would be yelling and having a stroke while I did everything in my power to physically save my child even if that means I die. This bitch is barely crying on video.

    Maybe DCF can take them away for good this time.

    • The Loki
      May 30, 2016 at 12:43 pm

      What she has left of them anyway.

      • FiestyLawyerLady
        May 30, 2016 at 12:55 pm

        I’m sure she pats herself on the back when they go to bed at night in one piece.

    • LLC
      May 30, 2016 at 2:45 pm

      100% agree the parents were at fault. Dumbasses.

    • Heidi Mahon
      May 30, 2016 at 6:08 pm

      I would like to see her children die and then Watch her black count get ripped to shreds which would automatically sterilise her at the same time which would save you lot done welfare payments as well. And no the child’s safety wasn’t the most important thing because the little bastard shouldn’t have been there and i hope so much that little maggot gets cancer and yes I would like to watch him die and then spit in the face of the fucking negro face have a nice day now

  • LLC
    May 30, 2016 at 12:00 pm

    Cue the freak animal lovers..”the gorilla was trying to hug the child”….ugh.

    • Heidi Mahon
      May 30, 2016 at 6:02 pm

      Watching you die would give me an orgasm you fucking maggot and watching that boy would give me an bigger one standing over his jerking little corpse squirting . The gorilla was behaving naturally in his own home you ignorant vermin yank douchebag I believe you maggots say and photographs have now shown that haram I was behaving protectively stupid cunt . But that is irrelevant yank maggot because the fucking whore of a mother should have been watching him worthless little black maggot. Worthless fucking whore showed the world not a proper I have signed a petition to have her children removed by children’s services and I would like to see her cunt seen up after watching it get ripped to shreds by done big guys I know ha ha ha get cancer give me an orgasm

  • Bill P.
    May 30, 2016 at 11:46 am

    Thing is, we can speculate all we want about what the gorilla’s intentions were, because that’s what we do as humans. We’re as arrogant as we are ignorant. And the reason why people are more sympathetic toward the gorilla is because it is humans who captured it, caged it, and put it on display to entertain other humans. And when dumb humans do dumb things like not securing the area so that other humans don’t do dumb things like let their little human progeny get too close and fall into the gorilla’s human-made environment, then a human has to kill it. Zoos are an outdated concept, so isn’t human intelligence. It’s unfortunate this beautiful creature had to be put down, but it did, and we’ve only ourselves to blame.

    • Heidi Mahon
      May 30, 2016 at 6:16 pm

      That beautiful animal had every right to hate humans but didn’t because it was all he knew he only had good experiences of humans after a man brought him up from a baby after being orphaned. He had his birthday only the day before was happy and then this stupid fucking black bitch has to come in with her stupid little which she only had to get welfare payments fucking black whore and I am going to wish with every fibre of my being for both of these worthless black maggots to get cancer which they both deserve which would be justice for haram be bless him

      • StupidIsAsStupidDoes
        May 30, 2016 at 11:38 pm

        You are extremely angry and definitely insane. You should be serving a life sentence in a locked mental health facility.

  • Publius
    May 30, 2016 at 11:45 am

    The self righteous self proclaimed gorilla experts know best. Bet these are the same people who know it all after the police shoot a violent thug who pulls a gun on the police.

    • LLC
      May 30, 2016 at 12:02 pm

      Couldn’t agree more, Pub.

      • Heidi Mahon
        May 30, 2016 at 6:20 pm

        It is because of stupid ignorant maggots like you that I support Islamic state and can’t wIt for them to launch an attack on your country and I hope you or one of your family are killed and all of you stupid maggots would be running round with guns like you always do because it’s all you maggots understand . Do you know why yanks like guns so much ? Because you can’t perform sexually without them because you’re first sexual experience is with your mothers !!! ha ha ha

        • Finnish Goalie
          May 31, 2016 at 6:04 am

          Wow. International readers?

    • Chris From Georgia
      May 30, 2016 at 12:26 pm

      Could not have said it better myself.

    • White Lives Matter
      May 30, 2016 at 1:48 pm

      Amen. Zero difference between shooting a gorilla and shooting a black thug.

    • Devils Mouthpiece
      May 30, 2016 at 5:19 pm

      This is a no win situation for the zoo. If they had done nothing hoping for the best, or say, used a tranquilizer that agitated the gorilla resulting in the child’s death or severe injury, these same morons would be screaming for justice. Hey idiots, this isn’t a Disney movie with soft fuzzy creatures that reason like humans. It’s a wild animal that’s unpredictable with real consequences.

      They should put every one of the idiots in a cage with a wild animal and see how fast they change their tune. Gawd I hate people.

    • Heidi Mahon
      May 30, 2016 at 6:26 pm

      I am not a gorilla expert self proclaimed or otherwise shit face but I know as a mother and an animal lover that first the stupid little black bastard shouldn’t have been in the gorillas enclosure in the first place if that stupid fucking whore had been doing her job properly and secondly shit face that animal was behaving naturally and from the pictures seen was not behaving aggressively at all do get your facts right stupid fucking yank cockroach I hope this black slag her worthless little shit of a son and you all get cancer Have a nice day now !! Ha ha ha ha

      • Devils Mouthpiece
        May 31, 2016 at 7:13 am

        There’s a special sale on punctuation today. Care to purchase any? We take all forms of payment; credit, cash, check or even paypal.

      • Wabbitt
        wabbitt
        May 31, 2016 at 12:08 pm

        Wow. Someone had a healing bowl of cunt flakes this morning.

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