Hoodrat Heroes

One Of The West Warwick Cat Nappers Says She’s Coming On Turtleboy Live With Clarence Woods Emerson, Gupta Patel, And Bret, And She Sounds Ratchet As Ever

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Listen up turtle riders – Clarence Woods Emerson gets back from 30 day timeout tonight (Saturday) around midnight. You’re not a real turtle rider if you’re on Facebook and you’re not following Clarence Woods Emerson. So stop what you’re doing right now and follow (not friend request) Clarence Woods Emerson. As you know, Facebook’s algorithms now give preference to personal pages over group pages. Plus, our group pages are perpetually shadow banned so you never see them in your feed anyway. They don’t hide Clarence so when he posts there are many more comments, likes, shares, and the Facebook Live videos have twice the audience size.

Speaking of, tomorrow night’s Turtleboy Live on Clarence’s page is gonna be awesome. It features Bret Killoran AND Gupta Patel. We will be starting the show with a One Shining Moment montage where we announce this year’s Ratchet Madness Champion. What more could you want?

Oh, I know – ratchet call in!! Remember this skag who stole the kitten in West Warwick and then threw it out like trash?

She says she’s calling in, and it sounds like it’s gonna be legendary….

Here’s the rest of the agenda:

See you all tomorrow at 10 PM. Make sure you’re following Clarence Woods Emerson.

11 Comment(s)
  • Rick Shaw
    Rick Shaw
    May 7, 2018 at 8:39 am

    Is that Morticia Addams? From the looks of this troll, she probably just wanted to grab some pussy.

  • Clitty Litter
    May 6, 2018 at 10:04 pm

    Looks like David Hogg before the Duran Duran haircut.

  • Fake Rant Queen
    May 6, 2018 at 8:26 pm

    This creature looks like another of those gender-confused individuals. You can always tell because most of the names they pick out for themselves start with “Z”.

  • Captain Trips
    Captain Trips
    May 6, 2018 at 8:57 am

    Are you sure this is a chick? Looks transgender to me

  • Well, No Shit
    May 6, 2018 at 8:32 am


    Let me first say that I have never once hit a woman. Never even come close, to be truthful. It just isn’t something that crosses my mind. 

    That being said, I am willing to make an exception for this fucking waste of skin. She talks all hard, like she’s some sort of hoodrat badass, so I invite her to drive her skanky ass out to Western Mass, where I will slap the fucking taste out of her mouth. 

    She is the way that she is, because no one has fed her a hearty slap yet. I will gladly be the first to do so. 

    “Pull up,” slut. Let’s get this over with. 

    • Real_Finn
      May 6, 2018 at 12:24 pm

      “I will slap the fucking taste out of her mouth.”

      I don’t condone any violence, blah, blah, blah. However, if I saw this happening, I definitely wouldn’t stop it.

      I hate pedos and animal abusers equally.

  • J-Tone Clout Jr.
    May 6, 2018 at 2:27 am

    What a nasty little cunt & you see her Albino Dyke lover that is one ugly mother fucker looking like cousin Oliver from the Brady Bunch.

  • Nicholas Schramm
    Buzz Turtlerider
    May 6, 2018 at 1:40 am

    I see a future top 6 seed in next year’s bracket. Maybe higher depending on what they do next. Will she continue to be one of the West Warwick catnappers? Or will she elevate herself tomorrow night to get her own turtleboy copyrighted nickname? Tune in a 10pm to find out live!

  • Man of 1,000 Faces
    May 6, 2018 at 12:40 am

    Abigail Horowitz.

    Now I get it.

    Ameliorate your agenda to elicit sympathy. You know what I mean.

  • Stunt Penis
    May 5, 2018 at 10:08 pm

    that’s female? I thought it was a male in transition.

    • panzer9811
      May 5, 2018 at 11:19 pm

      A scrawny, skinny, pencil-armed male in transition who thinks it’s tough.
      Tough to 5lb defenseless cats, maybe.
      Like all children, it hasn’t lived long enough to know what the fuck tough involves, requires, or is all about.
      Love to twist that bitch up like a fucking thin pretzel.
      Allagash trip, me and you Zyahna, you animal abusing, weak, pathetic, fragile, feeble, flimsy, low-life cunt.

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