Only An Idiot Would Want The Boston Red Sox To Trade Jon Lester, Koji Uehara, or John Lackey

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A reader today asked me what I thought of all the trade rumors involving the Boston Red Sox’ Jon Lester. GFQ. Haven’t really addressed this because the answer is pretty simple. No, the Red Sox should not trade Jon Lester, or Koji Uehara, or John Lackey, or anyone else who will help them win the World Series again next year.

Here’s the thing though – the Red Sox ownership are a bunch of chiselers. The more I read the more it sounds like they’re not gonna re-sign him after the season’s over. This has be the single most moronic thing I’ve seen out of these idiots. Newsflash – Jon Lester is fucking nasty.

All I hear from talking heads on the radio is about how we’re gonna have to overpay him (20-25 million a year for five years), and how he won’t be worth the money towards the end of his contract. Look, I don’t give a shit about the end of his contract. This isn’t God damn Houston. We can afford to completely blow our load and overpay on someone like Lester. We’re the Red Sox. If he sucks five years from now…oh well. We’ll just go out and buy someone else. It’s fucking baseball. There’s no salary cap, so who cares if you waste money?


This is what I don’t get from fans and talking heads. Why the hell do they give two shits if John Henry is getting a bad return on his investment? How is that my problem? I just want the best team possible out there, I don’t care about value. We will never, ever come to the point where we can’t afford to get a big name free agent because we gave a bad deal to someone like Lester. So please, stop wasting my time with that argument.

Here’s another thing – what makes everyone so sure he’s gonna suck in five years? Newsflash – he’s 30 years old and having BY FAR his best season as a MLB pitcher. He’s never had an ERA under three before. This year it’s 2.52. He’s good for 200-220 strikeouts a year, and he NEVER gets hurt. So what makes all these experts so sure he’s suddenly gonna break down? This is nothing but age discrimination. People think that when you turn 30 you start watching Matlock and play Bridge with your friends on the weekends.


And they better not trade Koji Uehara or I will lose my shit. I’ve never liked a player as much as I love Koji. I don’t care what I’m doing – if Koji comes in to pitch, I stop everything I’m doing and watch him. The way his pitches move just at the last second. The way he never walks ANYONE. The enthusiasm he brings to the mound. You are watching greatness.

And all these idiots wanna trade him?? Why??? Oh yea, because he’s “old.” Yes, he’s 39 years old, but that’s like 32 in Japanese years. Their average life expectancy is like 10 years longer than ours after all. My question is, if the rationale for trading him is that he’s old and will break down, how come he hasn’t yet? Are you telling me that the last year and a half of dominance, in which Koji has had statistically THE GREATEST calendar year for any closer in MLB history, was all just an anomaly? Doubtful. Dude can pitch until he’s at least 45.

And since when did closers become dime a dozen guys? Even Jonathan Papelbon wasn’t half of what Koji has been. Anyone remember the disasters we’ve had at the end of games? Brandon Lyon? Derek Lowe? Ugey Urbina? Joel Hanrahan? This is what you get with closers. A bunch of head cases who can’t throw strikes. That’s not gonna happen with Koji because it’s impossible for him not to throw strikes.


Look, this is not 2012. When we traded away our big name players (Josh Beckett, Adrian Gonzalez, Carl Crawford) we didn’t do it because we thought they were all washed up and done (well, maybe Beckett). We did it because they were all assholes. Lester and Uehara are not assholes. Lackey used to be, but he’s cool now that those three dingleberries are gone.

Everyone saying we should trade guys like Koji, John Lackey, and Lester have apparently given up on next year too. Ummmm, did I miss something? Since when did we become the Boston Celtics? The Red Sox don’t have to rebuild, they reload. Because there’s no salary cap and that’s what you do in MLB. Big money teams don’t trade away their best players for prospects just because they suck one year. Koji, Lackey, and Lester are the core of this team for next year. Go out, overpay for someone that can hit, get rid of dead weight (Jonny Gomes, Clay Buchholz), and next year we’ll be right back where we belong – in the playoffs.

Feel free to share your thoughts to keep the conversation going.

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5 Comment(s)
  • December 16, 2014 at 11:05 am

    This post is worth everyone’s attention. Where can I find out

  • John
    July 31, 2014 at 5:32 am

    Even big money teams can sometimes lose their best players when they mess around with their contract negotiations. The Yankees lost Robinson Cano to free agency and have the money to retain any player they see fit. It is similar to the situation the Red Sox are in right now. They have the means to re-sign Lester, but since he isn’t going to talk about a new contract until he hits free agency, it is isn’t a guarantee that he comes back. The Yankees lost Cano and I bet they wish they dealt him at the deadline and got blue chip prospects for him. What if trading Lester gets you prospects that land a Stanton or a similar impact bat? You would rather hold on to him for the remainder of this lost season and potentially let him walk for a compensatory pick? If the Red Sox can blow anyone away for a player, shouldn’t the best move be to trade him, get a haul of prospects and re-sign him?

    As far as Koji, when closers lose it, they fall off a cliff. I love Koji, but I find it hard to get too worked up about trading a 40 year old pitcher that became a closer due to lack of options. Once again, if a 40 year old gets you something of quality youth in return that is a good move for 2015 and beyond. Considering your take on Uehara is mainly based on racism, I can see why the logic of trading a 40 year old closer who has had injury and durability issues escapes you. The Red Sox took a flier on him when they signed him and if they turn that into a World Series and some prospects that is a smart signing.

    As far as Lackey, he isn’t going to pitch for the paltry sum that he is due next year. He has been great over the course of last year and the first half of this year. I think a large part of that is due to the fact that he decimated his value going into the next contract with his first couple of years with the Sox. He is going to get another large deal from a team in the offseason because he has proven himself again. He is going to want an extension to wipe out his current 2015 salary and it will most likely get contentious if it is with the Sox given his arm injury history. Trade him to a team that has a shot to win it this year and let them deal with the potential headache of negations. Lackey is probably at the peak of his value during his time with the Red Sox and that is the best time to move a pitcher that might not be a building block of the future.

    It is hard to rip teams for moves they haven’t made. Wait until the dust settles and the Red Sox plan becomes clearer. The free agent market looks thin at this point, but if the Sox get the right prospects-players they covet in these deals, they can be in an enviable position of depth going into 2015. They can also be positioned to make big trades in the offseason. If they deal Lester at the deadline and get pieces to acquire a big time bat or that could become a big time bat soon and add a pitcher the likes of Lester or Scherzer in FA, haven’t they improved a great deal?

  • Victoria
    July 29, 2014 at 3:58 pm

    I’m glad you wrote this. I’ve been feeling the same way. I’m just confused why there isn’t more outrage and shock from the fans… When jacoby Was being traded, everyone was crying for him to stay. And Lester is a way better player to keep around. He’s handsome too. And he’s my personal hero for beating cancer (something I have a strong connection to). Buy most importantly, he’s kicking ass this year. How old was curt schilling when he was pitching in 2004. Lester is a monster. Pay that class act.

    • John
      July 31, 2014 at 5:35 am

      Jacoby Ellsbury wasn’t traded. He left in free agency and I am pretty sure most people were okay with the move at the time with the contract given out to him and the fact that they felt JBJ was ready for the big club.

  • July 29, 2014 at 1:20 pm

    You gotta buy low and sell high. If you can get good return on a 39 yr old closer you dont hesitate to make the deal.

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