Turtleboy Tryout

Only Someone As Stupid As Charlie Baker Would Ban Vaping In A State Where Several Cities Let Junkies Shoot Up At “Safe” Injection Sites


I hate Vaping. Scratch that….it’s actually “Vapers” that torque my scrootles. I got no issue with the act itself. Nothing irks me more, though, than seeing some dipshit hipster millennial swaggering down the street with a goddamn Betamax Machine stuck in his face. Sure, I get it…lots of people used vaping to help themselves quit cigarettes and, hey whatever works. I quit a pack a day Lucky Strike habit in 2009 and I would’ve killed for a way to gradually step down my nicotine intake to 0 while still having that awesome throat hit and not having to give up the non physical addiction….but I didn’t (I hate the taste of nicotine gum), so pulled up my big-boys, was (more) irritable (than normal) for a few days and that was that. Yeah I still smoke cigars but, hey, we choose our poison. I’ve got no issue with the folks that used vapes and e-cigs to quit the cigarettes. It’s the hip snobby fuckers who vape and look down on tobacco smokers who I’d gleefully watch fall down an open sewer while trying to walk and change their vape coil at the same time. “I can’t believe you smoke tobacco, bro….this is so benign man…and your second and third hand smoke is killing everyone around you blah blah blah” .

So when I heard the CDC start talking about “popcorn lung” and the dangers of vaping, as a cigar smoker, I really had to snicker. The douche-whistle sucking woke mob was finally gonna see what real government regulation looks like. I figured it’d take a few years but, Massachusetts was gonna jump on the vaping “health crisis” like Harvey Weinstein on a b-lister. They’d figure out a way to tax a nicotine delivery system containing no tobacco. The tax would be draconian like the $3.51 cigarette tax or the 20% tax on other tobacco products. They’d be cast out like lepers by their own people and I’d be right there to say “I told you so”. I should have known that Massachusetts would screw my plans up again:

“We’re declaring this public health emergency because medical and disease control experts have been tracking the rapidly increasing number of vaping related illnesses that in some cases have led to death,” Baker said at a Statehouse press conference announcing the ban. “We as a commonwealth need to pause sales in order for our medical experts to collect more information about what is driving these life threatening vaping-related illnesses.”

The ban was approved by the state’s Public Health Council unanimously on Tuesday afternoon. It will be effective immediately.

You serious, Clark? A total ban on vape juice and supplies? Until they figure out what is causing the deaths? Is Baker’s head really so far up his own ass that it comes out in another dimension? Every Mass. town has at least one vape shop or one nearby. It’s a huge industry. People make a living selling these things. I passed three vape shops on my way home this afternoon. What are the owners and employees supposed to do for the 4 month ban duration? Go fuck themselves? Because it sure sounds like that. They still have to pay rent, and what about employees? The whole thing just sounded like a cluster of bad decisions and knee-jerk reactions. We have safe spaces and hand out clean needles for heroin addicts to shoot up and we’re banning friggin vaping? When I heard this go down, I was, for maybe the first time in my life, truly outraged. Then I started thinking that this is, after all, Massachusetts. There had to be some other nefarious shit at play here.

Follow along, kids, Gramps is gonna learn you something! Massachusetts makes tens of millions in tobacco tax revenue. The tax on a pack of cigarettes in MA is $3.51. The tax. On all other tobacco products is 40% of the wholesale cost which works out to be anywhere from 10% to 20% of the MSRP. In 2018, Massachusetts collected $884 million in combined cigarette and tobacco taxes. Only $3.7 million of that went towards tobacco prevention. See where this is going? Let’s take a look at Massachusetts Revenue for just cigarettes over the course of several years, straight from the department of Revenue’s website:

Revenue from cigarette sales only peaked in 2009 at $587,331,000.00 and began to decline slowly thereafter. Yes, the tax increases account for some of the falloff but also, in the United States, e-cigarette sales grew at an annual rate of 115 percent in the 2009-2012 period. Kinda neat, eh, kids? Fast forward to fiscal year 2016:

That’s quite a drop…and tobacco revenue has continued the downward trend every fiscal year in Massachusetts. There’s a lot of factors that go into the decline including loss of sales to New Hampshire and other low/no tax states, businesses illegally buying tax-free product from “trunk slammers”, a decline in smoking and, wait for it…the vaping alternative.

Legislators in Massachusetts have tried, but failed to put together a tax package on Vape products for whatever reason. Now I’m no conspiracy theorist, but it don’t take Oliver Frickin’ Stone to figure this here crap out. The ban includes halting the sale of Vape Juice and Vape products not only in state but also online sales. You think all the Vapers are going to drive to Cow Hampshire whenever they want a fix? Nah fam…they are gonna rendezvous toot-sweet with the Marlboro Man. The state of Massachusetts is about to experience a level of cigarette revenue not seen (and sadly missed) since round about 2009. Follow the money….I’m gonna light up a fat Nicaraguan and watch shit burn.




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52 Comment(s)
  • Why not
    September 27, 2019 at 12:32 am

    Can’t wait for the black market vape products to do the worst damage. Slap a “not for human consumption” label on some garbage, there’s always a loophole.

  • Clever Move
    September 26, 2019 at 11:59 pm

    At first glance, it looks like Baker really stepped in it. Even RI didn’t screw it up this badly, in that RI just banned the flavored vapes. Non-flavored can still be sold.

    On a second look, though, Baker’s seemingly idiotic move took the focus away from the scandal at the RMV. Maybe that was his primary objective. The 2020 election is not that far off and the RMV is the point agency for getting illegals on the voting rolls. The RMV needs to get back to work on its primary mission.

    September 26, 2019 at 10:13 am

    and i hate you, hope you die real soon.

  • Educated.
    September 25, 2019 at 10:11 pm

    I thought you always did your research. There is not one sanctioned safe injection site in the United States. Sure many towns have requested but have been denied for years because the drugs that would be utilized are federally illegal. Go ahead. Look it up.

  • SJW's Make Me Sick
    September 25, 2019 at 8:38 pm

    What a friggin’ idiot old Repubocrat Charlie is. I saw this on the news this morning and my first thought was “cigarettes have been killing people for years, why the hell don’t they ban them too?” If I owned a vape shop in Suffolk County I’d keep selling that stuff. Ratchet Rollins ain’t gonna prosecute anyway if you get caught.

  • Captain Trips
    Captain Trips
    September 25, 2019 at 7:40 pm

    I suggest everyone who vapes to stock up on cigars, quit your job, get on MA health, and chain smoke inhale those stogies! MA health will have you covered! According to Chuckie here vaping is more dangerous than tobacco, as he hasn’t banned that. So light up everyone, and fill the hospitals with lots of tobacco related diseases! The taxes will pay the bill! Chuck said it’s ok!

    In fact, go inside the state house and light em up! Be thankful you’re not damaging your health from inhaling water mist with propylene glycol, nicotine and natural water-based flavoring! Tar is MUCH better for you than that!

    Vape pens use propylene glycol as the misting agent. Here are the facts on that chemical from the FDA:

    “In contrast to ethylene glycol, a potent cause of acute toxicity in humans, propylene glycol is a “generally recognized as safe” (GRAS) additive for foods and medications. Propylene glycol rarely causes toxic effects, and then only under very unusual circumstances.”

    So vaping non-black market product is dangerous? If you think so, you need to take basic Chemistry 101 all over again. Try to pass the class this time.

  • Captain Trips
    Captain Trips
    September 25, 2019 at 7:18 pm

    I get a kick out of this whole affair.

    Pot was legalized just shy of 3 years ago and still the state barely has any recreational shops open whatsoever. SO much fucking red tape to open a shop it’s ridiculous. Did it take 3 years to open the package stores again after the end of alcohol prohibition? It’s easy to open a package store. Surprised middle schools don’t have them. Three fucking years and not a pot shop in the local Springfield area.

    But banning vape pens? SHIT! We can achieve that overnight!

    Political hack assholes

  • Weebles wobble
    September 25, 2019 at 7:16 pm

    At least we’re still free in this state to develop an Oxy habit.

    Fuck off Charlie!

    • Captain Trips
      Captain Trips
      September 25, 2019 at 7:39 pm

      I suggest everyone who vapes to stock up on cigars, quit your job, get on MA health, and chain smoke inhale those stogies! MA health will have you covered! According to Chuckie here vaping is more dangerous than tobacco, as he hasn’t banned that. So light up everyone, and fill the hospitals with lots of tobacco related diseases! The taxes will pay the bill! Chuck said it’s ok!

      In fact, go inside the state house and light em up! Be thankful you’re not damaging your health from inhaling water mist with propylene glycol, nicotine and natural water-based flavoring! Tar is MUCH better for you than that!

      Vape pens use propylene glycol as the misting agent. Here are the facts on that chemical from the FDA:

      “In contrast to ethylene glycol, a potent cause of acute toxicity in humans, propylene glycol is a “generally recognized as safe” (GRAS) additive for foods and medications. Propylene glycol rarely causes toxic effects, and then only under very unusual circumstances.”

      So vaping non-black market product is dangerous? If you think so, you need to take basic Chemistry 101 all over again. Try to pass the class this time.

  • hartf811
    September 25, 2019 at 3:59 pm

    Tax wetbacks!

  • Damn u charlie!!!
    September 25, 2019 at 2:36 pm

    Looks like I’ll have to continue buying twice the amount of vape for half the price on the black market.

  • deflatteddoritodinks
    September 25, 2019 at 1:36 pm

    These assholes always declare an emergency to screw people over. Remember the 2008 “emergency” where they took your money and lent it to Citibank and BOA because “they’re too big to fail”? My business is seasonal, and I could have used some cash to carry me through when I was turned down by ungrateful Citibank and BOA, but I was too little to succeed or some such.
    So now the other shoe will drop where we will have a Commission on Vaping with dozens of failed politician failing to show up for work and collecting $150K for doing fuckall. Next the “commisson” will set a 300% tax on all vaping products. Then we will only have 21 stores to buy vaping shit from most located around 80 miles away from Boston. I can see it coming!

  • Captain Trips
    Captain Trips
    September 25, 2019 at 11:52 am

    Need supplies? Come to Connecticut. Spend your tax money there!

    • Crystal Perry
      Crystal Perry
      September 26, 2019 at 7:01 pm

      Hey I’m a vaper and was wondering if you have your own store? I was curious as to if u do online orders? This shit sucks. I live in mass and I’m so fucking livid. We buy from actual vape stores and not black market and I used to smoke a pack and a half a day and now I only vape. I’m not a doucebag about it neither. I vape in my personal home and my vehicle. Anyways if you don’t I’m sorry to have bothered you. Just trying to figure shit out.. thanks a million for reading my long message.. my name is Crystal..

  • Finn
    September 25, 2019 at 11:26 am

    Good ole charlie back in the news?

  • why newton
    September 25, 2019 at 10:52 am

    If sticking something in your disgusting piehole to suck stuff people made into your lungs and body is this important to your life then it is time to hang it up.

    • Captain Trips
      Captain Trips
      September 25, 2019 at 7:06 pm

      Sounds like you’re speaking from experience in that regard

  • Lipstickhippie
    September 25, 2019 at 9:44 am

    So that vape pen meme made me throw up in my mouth a little. That is some sick shit right there.

    • why newton
      September 25, 2019 at 10:55 am

      If this isn’t a wake up call it should be. Put them down and exercise.

    • Captain Trips
      Captain Trips
      September 25, 2019 at 7:07 pm

      Agreed. That was unnecessary and gross

  • Banning Illegals Would Make MA Safe
    September 25, 2019 at 9:41 am

    Illegal aliens have killed more people than e cigs. How about Charlie ban illegal criminal aliens.

  • randiguy2006
    September 25, 2019 at 9:36 am

    Actually both approaches save lives. Look at the actual research on safe injection sites and not just your knee jerk reactions.

    • Druggies Are Worthless
      September 25, 2019 at 9:43 am

      Crime rises where injection sites are. Is a parasites life worth saving. For what end.

    • Wake Up Massachusetts
      September 25, 2019 at 10:58 am

      Really? Safe injection site?
      The opioid crisis really took off after the OxyContin dried up and needles were decriminalized. As soon as Deval Patrick stuck his greasy corrupt hand in the mix it all took off. The voters in this state should be ashamed of themselves. They keep voting these people from other states into office who are completely insane. Patrick from Chicago
      Warren from Oklahoma. And the list goes on…

      • FDA Doesn't Protect. They are Inept
        September 25, 2019 at 7:14 pm

        Thanks the FDA for Purdue Pharma Oxcycontin supplier and thank the FDA for New England Compounding Center murder of 80 patients.

    • Captain Trips
      Captain Trips
      September 25, 2019 at 8:12 pm

      I agree Dug. We need to keep them alive so they can hold up some more convenience stores, mug some more elderly people, commit some more B & E’s, rob packages from some more porches, and steal some more pain pills from fresh surgical patients!

  • oraladdicts
    September 25, 2019 at 9:34 am

    cigarette smokers, vapers, cocksuckers.

    • Captain Trips
      I love Female Oral Addicts
      September 25, 2019 at 7:12 pm

      Oh geez don’t ban cocksuckers!

      Can’t vape, smoke cigarettes, have my chick honk my horn….

      Life ain’t worth livin baby!

  • Dick GoZinya
    September 25, 2019 at 9:23 am

    Nicely done Tryout! Impressive….

  • Metro West Guy
    September 25, 2019 at 9:06 am

    The people walking around with vape pens look like douches with them, just saying.

  • Kevins 9 Iron
    September 25, 2019 at 8:17 am

    Does anyone who vapes regularly still go to brick and mortar stores for their supplies? All this did was send those people running for their computers. Nice going faker.

    I have one question. What about medicinal marijuana? Last time I was in a dispensary, 1/2 of the products they sell is vape related. You going to prohibit patients from getting the help they need? (that’s sarcasm)

    • Hugh-Bo Mont
      September 25, 2019 at 1:13 pm

      Yes, from what I read, even though the THC cartridges are tested and contents verified. Alcohol ruins and kills more lives than vaping has, or ever will. But, somehow that’s different.

  • up you ass
    September 25, 2019 at 7:34 am

    working on delivery system for nicotine,it’s called boofing, it was the rage in the mayan culture.soon it will be the “new” thing for getting a buzz

    • Barry
      September 25, 2019 at 10:52 am

      I’m less embarrassed for having to look that up than if I didn’t have to.

    September 25, 2019 at 7:31 am

    The funny part about all this and Charlie faker is, they are doing this because of the recent deaths related too vaping black market CBS products. Here is the best part. Those people died because they used black market cbd products. this is smart, let’s ban vaping because of deaths from black market products. Here is the best part the very people they are trying to save are just going to buy more black market shit and continue to die.

    These fucking idiots couldn’t ban texting and driving. which kills more people than vaping but ban vaping. What the fuck is wrong with these idiots? I would rather see a ban on texting and driving than my idiot counterparts vaping.

    Listen, there is nothing more that I hate than my generation but baning vaping is a far stretch. Let my fellow millennials kill them selfs, who fucking cares? I dont, my generation is the worst let them all die. Makes things much better for everyone.

    JJ from aol who’s not really from aol was here.

  • bigdaddy
    September 25, 2019 at 7:17 am

    Maybe they should ban illegal aliens instead They are more destructive

  • crabapple
    September 25, 2019 at 7:05 am

    It was funny to see people vaping. It showed that they were trying, because they’re both desperate and naive, to improve their health. To the worst ratchets, vaping was like the healthiest choice they’d ever made. They can top that by by doing a 7 sit-ups a week for 1 day. It’s like the crabapple dumpling gang.

  • Ray Patriarca
    Charlie Baker's rarified air
    September 25, 2019 at 5:13 am

    There will be a 4 month pause.
    The Legislature will pull out the stops and pass legislation in record time.
    The legislation will include a new massive tax on vaping products.
    They will pat themselves on the back for being “proactive”.
    Vaping products will become legal again.
    The Commonwealth will make oodles of $$.
    See ??
    Problem fixed !
    ‘Gee, aren’t we just wonderful and caring?”our esteemed legislators will say!
    It’s ALL about the money !!!

    • Joe Braxton
      September 25, 2019 at 7:21 pm

      I have to disagree. The ban will be renewed for another four months. Massachusetts could never get its shit together in four months. Plus you can’t forget about the holiday recesses that will happen during that time. Eight months minimum, and double whatever tax rate you figured on. Seen this movie before…

  • NObama2020
    September 25, 2019 at 2:58 am

    The vape ban is blatantly unconstitutional. And who gives a fuck about filthy junkies? Ban narcan, not vape juice.

  • Luke Fondleberg
    September 25, 2019 at 1:19 am

    Good work, follow the money.

    “Flavored vaping is dangerous because it entices kids to use, we need to stop kids from accessing nicotine, blah blah blah.” “We’re going to snuff out smoking.” “Opiates are an epidemic.” However, drive to one of the friendly communities and buy all the cannabis gummies or Rice Krispie treat edibles you want, because the Commonwealth is getting a cut, and then some. If these desk jockeys were truly concerned about the kids the marijuana sales would be banned as well. Grossly hypocritical. The only color that matters is green.

    And, for the record, use whatever you want in the comfort of your own home, just don’t go out and drive impaired on the roads I need to utilize. I would prefer to make it home in one piece. Thanks in advance.

  • Willie Fistegash
    September 24, 2019 at 10:30 pm

    You are a shit writer. Try not to talk about yourself and what a hero you are.

    • Jeff J
      Sad Sack O'Toole
      September 25, 2019 at 12:30 am

      Don’t listen to this tool above. You couldn’t satisfy him/her with 12 inches of silicone.

      Good 1st effort though.

  • Woodiculous
    September 24, 2019 at 10:27 pm

    This ban is very hypocritical. You can’t vape, but you can smoke cigarettes. The cigs are designed to, and actually do, kill you by poisoning your lungs. The only reason you get to keep cigs is that it takes a loooooong time and you pay lots of taxes before you die from it. Vaping kills you too quickly. The state doesn’t get enough of a cut before you cull yourself from the herd.

    The government needs its cut. Just ask Eric Garner. Oh wait. He’s dead. The NY cops killed him. Not because he was black, but because they couldn’t collect the sales and tobacco taxes from him when he was selling single cigs from a pack (that he bought legally and he already PAID tax on once.) Why do the BLM activists not recognize this fundamentally chilling thing? His life was worth less to the government BLM is asking for help from than the few cents Eric Garner didn’t pay on cigarette resales. WTF?

    • Hey Dummy
      September 25, 2019 at 11:07 am

      So the cops killed him on purpose? He didn’t die because he was a big fat piece of shit? You are what is wrong with this world. What a fucking moron you are. What are people always blaming the police? What do you do for work?

      • Woodiculous
        September 25, 2019 at 5:08 pm

        The state killed him, moron. Cops just follow orders. Come back when you learn to read.

        He died because the government won’t let a penny of tax go. Cops just do their jobs for the most part.

        • Linda
          September 26, 2019 at 12:05 am

          So the cops were told to kill anyone selling single cigarettes?
          Wasn’t this arrest at the request of Douchebag Mayor DiBlasio ? You are a big dummy

          • Woodiculous
            September 26, 2019 at 2:16 pm

            Yes, I’m a big dummy that knows that Mayor DiBlasio (pompous poopsmooch) is the head of the executive branch of NYC government. As such, he controls police. Not sure that that makes you that you can’t comprehend this.

            Police were ordered to stop people from re-selling single cigarettes because the government can’t collect another tax on those sales. Garner refused so they arrested him. He died as a result of the struggle to arrest. Not because he was black, but because the government wanted more taxes. The cops didn’t want tok ill him. They wanted to follow orders to stop the resale of cigarettes.

            Its pretty simple. I thought that even the most basic of minds among us could understand. I suppose the old saying that no one can ever failed to get rich by underestimating the intelligence of the population was right.

  • masshole
    September 24, 2019 at 10:24 pm

    Bunch of shitheads.

  • Gen X
    September 24, 2019 at 10:06 pm

    Haha! Fuck you millinials. You fell for that shit. When it gets turned back on they’re taxing you real hard. Like Mike Tyson conjugal visit hard! Until then enjoy withdrawal.

  • They never saw it coming?
    September 24, 2019 at 10:01 pm

    According your graphs this trend of downturn in cig sales and upturn of vaping is a decade old but the state is like lets hit the pause button and come up with a way to restructure the taxes to deal with the financial implications. Yeah you’ve beentaking a paycheck to figure that out as well as file out of state rmv bulletins etc. for years. What were these people doing all day at work? Are they even at the job?

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