Turtleboy Tryout: Lawrence Bootleg Tattoo Artist Is Serving Up Spelling Errors With A Side Of Hepatitis
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Allow me to introduce myself turtle world. I live in Lawrence. I know, I know, but the rent’s cheap and I can sleep through gun battles so don’t break my balls. I’m new to the Turtle game and I’d like to go a different direction my first post. Let me ask you guys a question. What’s a common denominator in most of the hoodrat hero posts we see on here? Besides flat brims and EBT cards.
But not just any tattoos, poorly done tattoos because their boy does tatz cheap. When in reality he’s just some dickhead who can’t draw a stick figure, but bought a bootleg tattoo machine and ink kit on ebay for $39.99. I say it’s time we expose the scratchers (non-pro tattoo “artist”). I want to post their work up for the Turtleriders enjoyment. And maybe to educate people not in the know that if you want a tattoo, you should do your homework and get it professionally done. It’s on you forever morons. And it may cause a chemical reaction to make you act like a scumbag. No scientific tests have been run on my last statement yet, but we’re working on it.
This is Michael Rivera:
I know right. Who’s going to tell that guy the tattoo he just gave them sucks? Anyways this mofo is one of the worst I have ever seen. And his Facebook is wide open filled with mangled open wounds for everyone to enjoy.
I’ve seen him around the local groups for years now. And he hasn’t gotten any better. The worst part is he charges close to the same amount as a reputable shop would. Let’s take a look at some of his work:
Virgin Mary or the dudes I see outside of Broadway liquors in Lawrence at 2am on a Tuesday? Mary’s got the disease. It’s a real shame.
Loyally? Idk bud, I don’t think that’s right. Better fire a line through that second L. I bet he charged extra. Those “roses” are fucked too. The reason why scratchers are called that is on full display here.
No fucking clue what’s going on here. Zace Wo? With some background anarchy? Who finishes this and goes “yup nailed it?”
This is a post he used to advertise his top level services. Which got me to thinking, there’s a zero percent chance he won’t tattoo a child. Maybe before this is posted I can message him and see if he will tattoo my 11 year old brother. My bet is I get a “yes”.
Fucking right you are! Nails on fleek. New tatz. This could have even been a tatz for stamps scenario. The world may never know.
Did this dude get in a knife fight or get a tattoo? I think both.
Now I’m pro-juggalo, but let’s face facts. Most of those mutants are inhaling nitrous cartridges in between meth hits and covered in shitty tattoos. Woop woop!
This is what hepatitis looks like. $80 please.
Holy fuck Batman! It’s the joker and he has a new secret power. It’s tetanus.
Need a scratch job finished? No fucking problem. Big Mike can make a Hep-C joker happen any time, any place.
Just speechless on this one. What the fuck dude? I’d kill to hear the conversations when these tattoos were finished. “Fucking killed it. Factz”
I could honestly do this all day there’s so much trash in his albums. But we’ll wrap it up with my all time favorite. Wait, that isn’t how you spell misunderstood bro……
It’s hard when Microsoft Word doesn’t give you the red line. Fire a diamond in there and we gucci. Diamonds gonna be an extra $50 though. Cough it up or else.