Passive-Aggressive Threats From Toolbags Like This Are The Reason We Exist At Turtleboy Sports

Passive-Aggressive Threats From Toolbags Like This Are The Reason We Exist At Turtleboy Sports

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So we’ve kind of had a busy last 48 hours. Everyone’s talking turtle, and not everyone is a fan. We’ve gotten a higher than normal amount of death threat, but we’re not gonna whine about it because only losers whine about words on a computer screen from wannabe hardos who aren’t gonna do shit. We actually like death threats because it means we’re doing something right. Like this brilliant scholar:

So scared!!! Turns out this kid is some Worcester winner trying to defend his Holy Name classmate’s honor because he thinks it’s gonna get him somewhere. But as usual, he will end up in the friend zone. Because kids like this always end up in the friend zone:

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First of all, he’s wearing a “Saturdays are for the boys shirt.” If you’re not familiar with this, Saturdays are for the boys is the latest marketing campaign for Barstool Sports. They know their audience, and they know how to make money. They know there is a plethora of dumb shit morons like this who will buy the dumbest sounding shirt ever simply because they can give bro-tastic high fives to their bros as they crush Keystone Light and retreat to their dorm rooms for a long night of Redtube.

Now don’t get me wrong, Turtleboy has been reading Barstool Sports since this kid was in diapers. But it’s obviously gone downhill lately since they’ve gone all Huffington Post Jr. and offer PC kneejerk takes on pretty much everything. Plus, everyone knows that the only people who actually buy these shirts are massive tools:

Then he did exactly what we knew he would do:

Immediately tweets at all his heros who will never, ever recognize his existence. Keep trying bro, one of these days you’ll get hooked up with a retweet and you’ll be the coolest kid in your dorm!!

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But he’ll keep throwing cash at them for $30 t-shirts because he’s a bro dude!! And he sends passive-aggressive threats on Twitter because the girl he had a crush on in high school became Turtleboy famous. Just like him.




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21 Comment(s)
  • whatevuh
    January 18, 2017 at 5:19 am

    Sundays are for MEN, you little boys can have Saturday to yourselves

  • William Humperdick
    January 17, 2017 at 11:03 am

    Turtleboy fighting with teenagers again. yawn. wheres the news?

    ps- you wish you had thought of that slogan

  • Dick Dover
    January 16, 2017 at 9:36 pm


  • GoneWest
    January 16, 2017 at 9:26 pm

    You have to give that tattoo artist some credit. It’s like those people you see on piers who can write your name on a grain of rice.

    • FiestyLawyerLady
      January 16, 2017 at 9:35 pm

      Wow “faggot” fit on a grain of rice? How much did you pay for it?

      • BobnMic
        January 16, 2017 at 10:57 pm

        Wow – Mother fucker Fiesty you absolute fucking bitch ass. Now you are going balls to the wall after commenter GoneWest? That commenter has been in here way fucking longer than you and probably even longer than me.

        So show some fucking respect will you? Is it in you?

        Stupid question. Of course it is not. What was I thinking? You’re a bitch – end of story.

        • FiestyLawyerLady
          January 16, 2017 at 11:09 pm

          Shut the fuck Bob. I dislike GoneWest for quite some time now. This is probably one of the only times he hasn’t complained about TB in one of his posts. He’s a fucking idiot, just like you.

          Go away – go fuck your fat ugly wife and stop stalking me.

          • BobnMic
            January 16, 2017 at 11:29 pm

            Ya you hate GoneWest because he or she sees the exact same thing I see in you. Which is utter fucking bullshit from an idiot trying to be all that when in reality you are NOTHING!

            Me stalking you is a fucking fantasy dream come true in your fucked up fake world. I loath you. People do not stalk those that they loath. Where is your common sense in this very concept? Do have any assembling of said common sense? It seems to me that you do not have a single fucking clue about any type of a clue. How fucking stupid can one person be?

            You fucking say – “go fuck your fat ugly wife and stop stalking me.”

            Ya ok psycho bitch liar fucking fraud asshole. You must’ve got picked on alot when you were a child huh? Because you still are one and you stomp your feet and cry like a baby alot no doubt. Wa wa wa. This is what you are so good at fraudulent one.

            Oh and if I haven’t said it lately – Fuck you.

          • FiestyLawyerLady
            January 16, 2017 at 11:46 pm

            Why are you so angry? You’re acting like I called your wife fat and ugly…………………………………………………………………………………………….

            I just tasted your tears, I can’t describe what “liar” tastes like on the palate so… I don’t know where to go from here.

            Have you rescued any people lately? The same way you helped the families of the fallen firefighters – Worcester 6? Can you tell all of us that story again. Please, tell us again how you were so important to the grieving wives and children? I would love to fall asleep to a fairy tale.

          • BobnMic
            January 17, 2017 at 12:59 am

            Everything I ever said in here is the truth so help me God. Allegedly.

            Go to our mutual acquaintance. You know – the one that asked to shut the fuck up and stop picking on an entire innocent family just because he had a taz picture in his FB page same as me at the time here on a screen pic? That was some funky funny Sherlock Holmes dumb ass shit if there was ever any sort of dumb ass shit. You re-invented shithead on that one. Still laughing here on that. The best joke on you Fiesty ever…

          • BobnMic's Tiny Penis
            January 17, 2017 at 6:38 am

            The only joke around here is the one in my hand when I take a piss.

          • FiestyLawyerLady
            January 17, 2017 at 7:24 am

            Bob, that proves nothing. You made your LinkedIn account at the same time you started pretending to be who you are on here. You said it yourself you have had your account for 9 months what perfect timing….

            I can make one of those accounts too and write whatever the fuck I want on there, still doesn’t make it true. How convenient that you make this account to message said person about being bothered on TB and this account you make is brand new with all of your awesome fake fucking work experience lol.

            Like I said NO BOB OR ROBERT EVER INVOLVED IN THE WORCESTER 6 FIRE…. PERIOD. PERIOD. PERIOD. STOP LYING. Unless you’re going to say your name is different AGAIN lol…

            Fuck off already man, I was born but not yesterday.

          • FiestyLawyerLady
            January 17, 2017 at 7:29 am

            I also challenge anyone to go back to that blog TB posted about the Worcester 6. I posted links of the grieving family member interviews. They said they traveled to the fire in fear their partners were there (and they were).

            BobnMic here says he had the task of driving to the family homes, picking them up, and driving them back to the station to deliver bad news that their partner had died in the fire. He stated he was a police officer for many years, and then retired… Well, until 4 days ago when he changed it and said he spent his career as a detective.

            So who is lying? These grieving family members during newspaper interviews, BobnMic, or you???

            I’m done for now. It’s 730am and I have real life shit to do. Unlike you, I don’t live in my imagination. See you at 2pm when you wake up, as always.

  • Clone puppet
    January 16, 2017 at 8:58 pm

    Another lemming, has the official lemming ink and lemming backpack. Boring, have some creativity for a change ?

  • Jonnie Walker
    January 16, 2017 at 7:15 pm

    This is where I’m starting to have some issues with this site too. He’s just a scrawny stupid little kid. He has no idea he’s a tool. Cut the kid some slack, he’s got a Worcester Public School education so he’s already starting life in last place.

  • J-Sully
    January 16, 2017 at 6:56 pm

    Don’t get an upper arm tattoo when you don’t have an upper arm.

  • Ptown Rules
    January 16, 2017 at 6:46 pm

    ‘Saturdays are for boys’ is one exit down from ‘Mannnnn Town’ Lalalala, grab your ankles and squeel like a pig!

  • Turd Burglestein
    January 16, 2017 at 6:00 pm

    Look at those toothpick arms and tiny hands. The only thing getting beat with those is his meat.

    • Duke Westwood
      January 17, 2017 at 2:00 pm

      And even that puts up a hell of a fight…

  • bird
    January 16, 2017 at 5:52 pm

    He looks like someone who takes it up the ass.

    • Sloppy
      January 16, 2017 at 6:50 pm

      I’m not a very big guy. I’m not wicked skinny or anything, but I wouldn’t make the varsity football team.
      I’ve always thought: If I ever got falsely accused of a crime and thrown into prison –like Walpole or something, not the county lockup– the first thing I’d do, the very first night, is I’d find a guy who looks like that and I’d pound him up the ass and maybe bite his ear off for good measure while I was slamming him, right in front of all the real-deal big hardcore guys in the prison, just so they’d all be like “woah, don’t buttrape that little guy, he’s fucking tapped”.
      That’s what I’d do. To protect my OWN ass. And I’d make sure the recipient was a punk like the guy in the story here.

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