I’ve seen a lot of bullshit GoFundMe’s in my day, but I can’t say I’ve ever seen anything quite this pathetic.
I have 3 kids, work 50 hours a week, and still pump out a couple of blogs whenever I can. Do you understand how fucking MADDENING it is to listen to a grown man, with no kids, and no responsibilities, whine about how he needs $500 to get away for the Goddamn weekend?? Fuck this douche twinkie and the surfboard he rode in on.
Let me just break down all the fuckery in this pathetic Internet panhandling scheme.
“I am in need of some money to get out of the house and go on a trip.”
Aren’t we all? Get a job.
“I have tried everything.”
No you haven’t. Know how I know? The very next sentence.
“Most days I just sleep all day from migraines from stress.”
You sleep all day. Fuck you and your power naps.
“I graduated college in 2012 and have not been able to find a stable job.”
It’s the healthiest economy of our lifetime. If you can’t find a job then you’re either not trying, not willing to work, or you’re a fucking idiot. You pick.
He also appears to be lying about that based on his Facebook bio.
“It has been almost 8 years of suffering and depression and weight gain.”
You mother fucker. I would love to have time to get to the gym every day, but I’m too busy working and raising a family. And here you are with NOTHING to do, and instead of exercising or working you’re sitting on your fat ass eating bon-bons and feeling bad for yourself. This is what fat looks like to this whiny poon stain.
“I have applied for 10,000 jobs, gone door to door, face to face, applied online etc.”
No you haven’t.
“I have done everything and can’t get anything.”
No you haven’t.
“Living off stuff that I sell of my own items and possessions.”
You live off selling your own possessions? How do you own all these possessions if you haven’t had a job since you graduated from college 7 years ago? On Facebook he literally begs people to buy his used shit.
“Help a fiend out.”
Something tells me that wasn’t a typo.
Check out his EBay store yourself to see what he’s got for sale that no one wants.
Nobody is gonna pay $25 for your used gym shorts dipshit. Nor do we want your overpriced soccer crap.
Or your $100 BU jerseys.
Or the BMW that apparently is sitting in what appears to be your driveway of your very nice looking neighborhood.
Yes, that’s right – he owns a BMW, despite not working since 2012.
The only right thing he said was his final sentence.
“This world is a tough place to live in and I am just looking for some support.”
Yea, it is a tough place. Which is why I’m writing this blog. Because whiny little bitches like you need to be reminded how tough it is for people who actually work for a living.
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