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Patriots Spy Attacks Steelers Coach’s Foot With Back Of Leg While Pretending To Be Drunken Fan

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According to ESPN’s Adam Schefter, Steelers tight ends coach James Daniel is being investigated by NFL security for allegedly assaulting and verbally accosting a Patriots fan on the way to the locker room before halftime in Thursday night’s game.

The report says Daniel was seen allegedly kicking a Patriots fan in the back of his leg and yelling at the fan in front of witnesses on the way to the locker room. Once he returned to the coaching booth after halftime, security was waiting for him. Daniel then began yelling at officers.

Schefter has been told the NFL is aware of the incident and is looking into it.

PITTSBURGH, PA - CIRCA 2010: In this handout image provided by the NFL, James Daniel of the Pittsburgh Steelers poses for his 2010 NFL headshot circa 2010 in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania. (Photo by NFL via Getty Images) *** Local Caption *** James Daniel

Sad thing is that this guy was probably the best kicker on the Steelers sideline last night. Isn’t this guy too old to be fighting drunken fans? And aren’t fans supposed to be in the stands? So any drunkard can just wander around the Gillette Stadium locker room tunnels picking fights with random coaches? Regardless, you gotta be pretty drunk to get lippy with that man. Because that right there is the face of a man who more likely than not killed at least four or five people.

I can’t WAIT to see how they’re gonna spin this into some sort of anti-Patriots scandal. I mean, it has to be right? I can’t remember the last time the NFL investigated a team that wasn’t the Patriots. Here’s Turtleboy’s prediction of how they’re gonna spin this:

Chris Mortenson: We have just received word that a Patriots employee pretending to be a drunken fan, was caught stealing Pittsburgh’s playbook from the Steelers unlocked and unattended locker room during halftime. After realizing that the entire playbook consisted of ways to get inside the Patriots 25 yard line and then NOT score touchdowns, he realized he was wasting his time and began to leave. At that moment Steelers tight end coach James Daniel caught him and asked him if he would like to donate the cute puppies with cancer fund. We are not sure what led up to the physical altercation because our anonymous sources haven’t figured out a way to spin this yet, but will keep you updated as we learn more. Over to you Sal.

Sal Palantonio: We are now receiving word from an unnamed NFL executive who used to work for the Colts and Jets, that the Patriots employee masquerading as a drunken Pats fan told coach James Daniel that only “pussy ass bitches” from Pittsburgh have two first names, and that he hopes all his cancer puppies get eaten by coyotes. After that coach James Daniel told him that this wasn’t a nice thing to say. Then the Patriots employee tried stabbing him with his pocket ball deflater, before striking the coach’s foot repeatedly with the back of his leg. No word yet on the extent of the injuries to coach Daniel’s foot.

Mark Brunell: This story makes me wanna cry. I love puppies.

1-22-2015-5-24-10-pm

Mike Felger: There’s no way Tom Brady didn’t know about this. I absolutely believe Brady was involved in this and if he doesn’t give up his Giselle sex tapes then I’m sorry, but I think that makes him guilty.

Tony Masserotti: Exactly what you said Mike. How does Belichick keep skating? Haven’t I convinced you people that despite the fact that I’ve always lived in Massachusetts, I’m not a Patriots homer reporter yet? How long do I have to keep pretending to be Felger’s yes man for?

Brandon Marshall: Sounds like white privilege to me.

Bob Kravitz: I had it first. Pay attention to me or else I have to go back to talking about Purdue football.

In all seriousness, it really wouldn’t surprise me if they took some type of spin like this. We’ve never seen anything like this in all of sports before. The butthurt is no longer just a disease – it’s a full blown plague at this point. It’s literally impossible for the Patriots to win a game and not have someone on the other team whine like a little beyoch. We look forward to weekly dose of butthurt from now until the Super Bowl when Tom Brady takes the Lombardi Trophy and shoves it directly up Roger Goodell’s ass.

 

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3 Comment(s)
  • Nanny
    September 11, 2015 at 6:40 pm

    “Sad thing is that this guy was probably the best kicker on the Steelers sideline last night.

    Worthy.

  • Mike
    September 11, 2015 at 6:33 pm

    I agree with sissy.. Maybe one of the best blogs yet

  • Sissy Hankshaw
    September 11, 2015 at 5:47 pm

    This blog is GOLD, TB. I shall share it on Twitter for the enjoyment of my 23 followers.

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