If you like free speech and want to support what we’re doing, feel free to donate to the Turtle fund:
Hello Turtle Riders. As you know if you follow Turtleboy we are constantly getting censored and banned by Facebook for what are clearly not violations of their terms of service. Twitter has done the same, and trolls mass reported our blog to Google AdSense thousands of times, leading to demonitization. We can get by and survive, but we could really use your help. Please consider donating by hitting the PayPal button above if you’d like support free speech and what we do in the face of Silicon Valley censorship. Or just buy our award winning book about the dangers of censorship and rise of Turtleboy:
Sorry about the delay folks. If you’re watching this Pats game feel free to refresh this blog to keep up with our live takes on it. Patriots 24-21, and that’s being generous.
That’s all she wrote folks. 41-28 shellacking. We’re onto Kansas City. God loves us more.
Classy move by a classy organization (the Patriots) letting a hall of famer score a touchdown in his final game. I expect nothing less from the greatest franchise of all time.
If they let them score here I’m going to be extremely disappointed. I don’t want to explain to my kids how we murdered San Diego this game but the score doesn’t reflect that.
Good for Phil Rivers for finishing the game. Would’ve liked to see him win a Super Bowl, but sadly for him, Brees, Rodgers, Luck, Peyton Manning, and many other of the greats, they had the misfortune of being born within the realm of Tom Brady. Pat Mahomes had the right idea being born in the 90’s.
This victory wouldn’t be complete without a Gilmore interception on Rivers. God loves us more.
At least the non-existent fanbase in Los Angeles has another team they can pretend to care about next week.
This our 8th straight AFC Championship, but only the 2nd time in those 8 years it won’t be at home. They are 4-3 in those games, and 0-1 on the road against Denver. This Kansas City defense doesn’t compare to the Von Miller Broncos. Never been so confident.
If I listened to 98.5 I’d have to brace myself for a week of Tony Mazz whining about how the Pats got outscored in the second half. Luckily I don’t waste time listening to Felger and Mazz.
Can’t let them score here. Huge difference between 41-14 and 41-21.
Really disappointed they’re punting here. We should be up by at least 60 right now. Gotta be better than this next week.
I don’t know where this defense came from, but I feel bad for Patrick Mahomes if they show up next week.
You will regret this.
You want it? You got it. pic.twitter.com/v1qrlE0m6O
— Arrowhead Pride (@ArrowheadPride) January 13, 2019
Who has been the most impressive player
Kind of disappointed we’ve only scored twice this half and have just 41 points. Scary part is they’re gonna work out the kinks and come back stronger next week.
After this touchdown drive should the Patriots take out Brady?
This is a perfect example of how untalented and predictable Felger and Mazz have become. When you just pretend to hate everything because you’re trying to poll Pats fans you lose your ability to think critically.
— Ƒunhouse (@BackAftaThis) September 24, 2018
I was gonna say it’s time to bring in Brian Hoyer if the Chargers didn’t score there. Glad we get to see Brady rip them up a little more. Fun times.
“1:42 Elandon Roberts is the best linebacker in the league when a running back is running directly at him without a blocker. You have no chance getting by him. Just don’t ask him to cover anyone, shed a blocker, or try to contain on the edge. In that case he’s the worst linebacker I’ve ever seen.”
If the Chargers don’t score a touchdown here do you bring in Brian Hoyer?
You know we own your brain when you can’t throw passes on Kyle Van Noy. Sad.
The good part about losing to 5 teams that didn’t make the playoffs is that you won’t have to play any of them in the playoffs. Unfortunately for the league the Pats went 4-0 against playoff teams this year.
The refs gave San Diego a pity penalty there obviously. I likely would’ve done the same. It’s the humane thing to do.
I’m not a gambling man, but taking the Pats next week seems like a great way to send my kids to college.
Opening lines for the AFC Championship Game (@betonline_ag):
— OddsShark (@OddsShark) January 13, 2019
Not sure about that field goal there. I guess you take it because Gostkowski needs some practice, but I just feel dirty not scoring touchdowns.
Does Brady hate Chris Hogan? Poor guy’s the only one not getting in on the action, and Brady’s just missing him. When your biggest problem is that your 4th receiver can’t get a meaningless touchdown you know God loves you more.
A lot of teams kick a field goal up 35-7 on fourth down. Champions go for it because it was never in doubt.
Turtleboy Halftime Show.
San Diego coming out with the most uninspiring three and out of all time. They have completely given up. Time to take out Brady? Maybe after one more touchdown. Just for fun.
This man gets paid millions of dollars to give his opinions on sports.
— Max Kellerman (@maxkellerman) January 11, 2019
If we don’t have 42 points at halftime I will be extremely disappointed.
Remember when we were stuck with Eric Rowe as a second quarter? I have no idea where JC Jackson came from, but he has Otis Smith tendencies. This really is like 2001 all over again.
It’s gonna suck when Flowers wants to get paid and we don’t pay him because there’s some guy on the Browns who’s willing to play for half that. Phil Rivers will have nightmares about him for months.
I don’t know who #51 is on San Diego, but Gronk is absolutely murdering his soul. Best lineman in football.
The Patriots will no doubt be an underdog in Kansas City next week. The Saints will win the NFC Championship, so we’re gonna play them in the Super Bowl, and they’ll probably be favored against us too. When is the last time we were underdogs in both of those games and won the Super Bowl? 2001. We were also 11-5 that year. God loves us more.
Brady is about to pass 200 yards passing, Michel is at 100 yards rushing, Edelman is about to pass 100 receiving yards. It’s not even halftime. Oh, and it’s about to be 35-7. But look at the bright side non-existent Charger fans – you get ball to start second half.
Why isn’t this McClellan guy a starting linebacker? He blocked two kicks in one game a few weeks ago. Dude makes plays. What else do you need to do to show you’re better than Elandon Roberts? And he definitely recovered that fumble inbounds. The best part? San Diego signed the nudnik who just fumbled specifically for this game.
Good lord. Worcester South High School used to routinely lose to everyone by 30 points back in the late 90’s. But at least we put up a fight. This is just sad. And this team beat the shit out of the Ravens last week too. Pray for Kansas City.
Just a reminder – the team we’re playing next week recently lost to the team we’re murdering in cold blood right now. We also beat the team we’re playing next week. This would be by far the sweetest Super Bowl run we’ve ever had.
28-7. Gronk is the most underrated player on this team. He’s obviously not what he was as a receiver, but he’s a better blocker than 90% of linemen in the league. The Michel run and the Burkhead touchdown were entirely due to his manhandling of these sad, pathetic children in white. This is so fun, and never gets old. God loves us more.
I thought they actually stopped us there. Of course there was a penalty. I’d cheat too against this team.
At least they made it interesting by converting on a third down there. Pats immediately respond with 30 yard dump pass to White. How many plays will it take to score on this drive? I thought this defense was supposed to be good? Disappointed.
I haven’t seen the Pats rush the quarterback like this since ought four. Poor Phil Rivers is gonna have to stop at 15 kids if they keep this up.
Phil Rivers was extremely lucky his team incompetently could not get the play off in time.
You know we’re just fucking with them when Brady starts giving free touchdowns to Dorsett. If they’re not gonna try we might as well let everyone score. Sad. 21-7. God loves us more.
I projected Edelman to have 200 yards and 15 catches. In hindsight I vastly underestimated him.
How many times can Max Kellerman pretend that this team is done and still keep his job? They look like they did every year for the last 18 years. Unstoppable.
Three and out. This game is officially over. On to Kansas City.
Elandon Roberts is the best linebacker in the league when a running back is running directly at him without a blocker. You have no chance getting by him. Just don’t ask him to cover anyone, shed a blocker, or try to contain on the edge. In that case he’s the worst linebacker I’ve ever seen.
14-0. Sony Michel is on pace for 8 TD’s. Brady on pace for 400 yards. Edelman on pace for 200 receiving yards. James White on pace for 25 catches. Just let us get one stop and the game is officially over. God loves us more.
I feel bad for any NFL team that doesn’t have Julian Edelman on their roster. 99.9% of receivers go down five yards short there. Small white guys are in the league for a reason.
When will the Patriots have their first punt today? I say never.
Literally 60 seconds later Gilmore gets smoked by Keenan Allen. It’s never easy with this team, but that’s what makes us so great.
Remember when everyone thought Stephon Gilmore was a bust? He might be the second most valuable player on this team.
Just when you think we’re gonna start with a 3 and out, and the Chargers are completely overmatched, and they’re making stupid penalties, and San Diego just isn’t ready for primetime, the Pats secondary reminds us that they will always keep the other team in the game. Always. Third and fifteen against the Patriots is a 50/50 proposition every time.
I was somewhat nervous going into this game. Then I saw that first drive and realized this is the Patriots and Tom Brady. They used half the first quarter to methodically ram it down San Diego’s tailpipe. 7-0. Pray for Phil Rivers.